Adopting 2nd bun without introducing to 1st bunny?

[Dee]

First, I know this is not ideal. The point of bringing the 1st rabbit to the shelter and letting them “pick out” their partner is to avoid a bad match. The problem I have is that my bunny, Luke, gets so terrified of the car ride and new surroundings and rabbits, he freezes up and spends most of the “introductions” huddled up in the corner, petrified. Another bunny can jump on him and hump him, and he won’t even move- he is that scared. Even when I adopted him from the rescue to be a husbun for my rabbit, Nelli, he was so frightened at being removed from his cage that he just sat there and let Nelli jump on him and hump his head until we removed her. They never bonded as she wasn’t nice to him- she died of kidney failure the following year. When I took him to meet another female, Precious (they never bonded and sadly, she died last September), she was very enthusiastic to meet him and humped him several times, while he huddled there not responding, and the rescue owner declared it a good match. We were told to keep them together in a neutral space and go for a marathon bonding. But even once they were home, Luke was so traumatized that he wouldn’t move, eat or drink. So we had to separate them and put Luke back in his familiar space. After that, Luke seemed too nervous around her to bond- he was fine when they were squished into a box together- he even groomed her and actually flopped next to her, but once they were hopping around, he would nip her if she approached him.

Since Precious died, Luke has been hiding more and just in general, not as healthy and happy as he seemed before. Even though they never bonded, I think he likes having another rabbit around. However, I just don’t know if it’s a good idea to bring him to meet prospective wives. The closest shelters are a 2+ hour round trip, which alone would probably cause Luke to stop eating for at least a day. I’m afraid that the stress of it all would make him sick, and then we would have a new rabbit and Luke having one of his hiding/not eating bouts to worry about- never mind happy bonding.

I am wondering if it would be better to contact shelters and find a rabbit who is very friendly and more of a groomer than a humper- and go adopt her, then bring her home to Luke. The drawback there is that I wouldn’t have an experienced rabbit bonder there to assess whether it was a good match or not, and of course, if they did not bond I would have 2 rabbits that needed to be kept separately again. I have the room for that, but I would rather not do that. Although once I had the other rabbit home, I’m sure I would feel the same way as I did about Precious- I didn’t care whether or not she bonded with Luke, I just wanted to give her a great home and keep her safe.

I would love to hear some opinions and/or experiences from others. Sorry, as always, for the loooong post, and thanks in advance for any replies! I really want Luke to have the best life possible. He is going to be 4 years old in June, so hopefully he still has a long life ahead of him, and I think he would love a wife. He currently has 2 stuffed animals- one is a little fuzzy white sheep that he grooms and sits with every day.

[Dface]

Yumi and her first husbun never met before I brought her home (circumstances didnt permit it) I took a total gamble, and thank the heavens they were an instant bond!

I think you are right to not bring him-its pointless and stressful if he’s just going to behave like that-especially as he hasnt been well; I wouldnt bring him.
You have the choice to try “temporary” adoptions, where you adopt and if it REALLY doesnt work return the rabbit and try a different one(but by the sounds of it I think this option wont work out at all)

You could take one of Lukes stuffies-let some of the females have a sniff and see if any are STRONGLY opposed and rule them out, and if anybun choses to give it a clean then that might be the bun for Luke!
Also ask about their personalities and if they have interacted with other rabbits before etc. that might give you some insight to how readily they might accept Luke.

In terms of the experienced person to help you assess- the only thing you have to really worry about is instant and crazy aggression (bunny tornado type things)

[sarahthegemini]

Tbh I don’t think even an experienced rabbit bonder would be able to say what would be a good match for Luke seeing as he totally changes when in a new environment. I think ‘speed dating’ can be great but not if the rabbit or rabbits behave differently to normal. I would just adopt a bun and do plenty of pre bonding and see how Luke reacts. There’s no guarantees, but then there’s no guarantees after a ‘successful’ speed date either.

I really believe that most bunnies can be bonded. Some just take a bit longer. I would adopt new bun and put her in a separate room. Let her settle and then start swapping items and see if Luke is okay. If so, I’d then move new bun into the same room and continue swapping items. I’d just take things very slow to make sure Luke isn’t afraid.

[Dee]

Thank you SO MUCH, Dface!! I feel WAY better hearing that it’s not a terrible idea to not being Like with me ☺. Its like a huge weight off my shoulders.

And the stuffie idea is brilliant!!! I never thought of that, but of course- rabbits are so scent oriented.

Very true also about assessing- while it would be great to get the opinion of someone who has bonded lots of bunnies, I would certainly recognize a definite “no go”! Bunny tornadoes are not exactly subtle ?.

I’m going to call a few rescues today- I’m really excited about this now, because I’ve wanted to find Lukie a friend but the thought of dragging the poor little guy along with me was making me dread the whole thing.

Thanks again!

[BuckyLuna12]

I bought both of my buns on the internet, which wasn’t ideal for bonding. I took a gamble too, and I believe I lost it. Luckily, a spay (which cost me a hour and a half trip one way and 308$) and seven months later, my bunnies have bonded, though it is probably not the strongest bond. Sometimes they are best bunnies and sometimes my female will hump my male, which can lead to them pouting on different sides of the cage. My point is, getting another rabbit without knowing if they will get along is a totally risk. You can take it, and be left with two single bunnnies, or a happily bonded pair. I took the risk, and am relatively happy I did.

[Dee]

Sarah, thank you for your reply- I hasnt seen it yet when I responded to Dface ☺- I really appreciate it!!

You’re right, it’s impossible for even the most experienced bonder to tell how Luke would get along with another rabbit when he isn’t act ing anything close to his normal self. That makes the whole bringing him along deal nothing but stressful. Maybe he will react more positively to another rabbit when he doesn’t associate them with an upsetting trip to a scary place!

Good advice about taking it slowly too. The whole thing must be as relaxed as possible for my little bundle of nerves bunny ☺.

[Dface]

This forum, and others are amazing at helping you look for the good signs and the bad signs when introducing them, but like Sarah I kinda think that most bunnies given time will bond, with patience (oh lord does it take patience!)

Im happy to see that you’re feeling less apprehensive about it!
I remember after Yumi lost her mate she was so so unwell. It was awful
When I brought home Peep she HATED him. Id never seen her so angry at everything. But-it worked! She ate again, she was active again she was so distracted into hating Peep she seemed to forget to be in mourning

(I actually took Yumi to meet Peep, but it was a shelter with dogs and she was so terrified that she just let him do whatever) when we got home she was enraged. lol
It worked out though-after 3-4 months of bonding ) ha!

Please keep us updated with any progress you make !

[Sirius&Luna]

I agree with Sarah, I think done properly, (eg very slowly) the majority of buns can be bonded (of course there are exceptions, like BunNoobs, where even when everything is done correctly you have a super stubborn bun).

I did it the stupid way with mine – bought a baby and brought him home to wait to be neutered before introducing him to Luna. She hated him with a passion for months before he was neutered (through neighbouring cages), but after he was neutered, and another couple of months of pre bonding, I managed to bond them.

I agree that it’s not worth taking Luke on a super stressful journey – it wouldn’t reveal what their true relationship would be like anyway, and if there’s a possibility of it making him ill then it’s definitely not worth it. Has he been bonded before? If so, I would call and ask around for a bunny with a similar personality, then take it very slowly from there.

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By Dee on 1/05/2018 2:11 PM

Sarah, thank you for your reply- I hasnt seen it yet when I responded to Dface ☺- I really appreciate it!!

You’re right, it’s impossible for even the most experienced bonder to tell how Luke would get along with another rabbit when he isn’t act ing anything close to his normal self. That makes the whole bringing him along deal nothing but stressful. Maybe he will react more positively to another rabbit when he doesn’t associate them with an upsetting trip to a scary place!

Good advice about taking it slowly too. The whole thing must be as relaxed as possible for my little bundle of nerves bunny ☺.

You’re welcome

Definitely don’t want to stress out your little Luke. He sounds adorable btw. I just want to snuggle him and tell him everything is okay 

[tobyluv]

I have bonded 5 pairs of rabbits in my home over the years, and none of them met beforehand. These bondings were all quick and easy. Maybe I’ve just been lucky, who knows? It may be that taking a rabbit to a rescue to pick out the best companion works well in a lot of cases, but I’ve always thought that you are very possibly not going to get a true reading from a rabbit who has been taken from their home, put in a carrier (which usually means a vet visit) then brought to a place with a lot of unfamiliar, possibly scary, sights and smells. I would never dissuade anyone from trying speed dating at a rescue, but I know that it’s very possible to successfully bond rabbits who are meeting for the first time in your home.

I hope that Luke will have a loving bunny companion soon.

[Boymom4]

None of my 3 rabbit pairs (involving 4 rabbits) have ever met their mate before I brought a new one home and eventually they all have gotten along just fine. I’d definitely keep your current rabbits personality in mind though when picking out a new one and base the choice more on that than how adorable a specific one is to you.

[Dee]

Wow, thank you all so much for your help ?!!! I’m so relieved and excited that Luke can have a bunny friend without going through the dreaded car ride and all ☺. He has been so strange since Precious died- he did need his molars done, but even since then, it seems like every week he goes through phases where he hides in his box and acts just- not right, you know? Nothing that I would take him to the vet over, especially since that alone is a trauma for him- he never stops pooping or eating. I think he’s just too nervous to be the only bunny in the house.

Dface, that’s so funny how you describe Yumi and her outrage at having Peep in HER house- I can just picture it! I’m sure it was really difficult at the time, though- worrying about her being so sad over her mate and then her detesting her prospective new husbun. I’m so glad they finally bonded!!

Sirius&Luna, even though you didn’t go the regular route, it all worked out and that’s what matters ☺. Must have taken quite a lot of effort on your part though- I truly admire all of you who worked with your bunnies for months to help them bond. I hope I have the courage to follow through- I know I have the patience (my job requires the patience of a saint lol). I’m just such a wimp when it comes to the bunnies possibly hurting each other. Luke has never bonded- his brother used to pick on him and they had to be separated, according to the shelter owner. Then Nelli, my original female bunny, wasn’t fond of him at all. They got together accidentally and within a couple minutes (if that!) they fought and Nelli needed several stitches in her stomach from Luke scratching her. That really scared me, so when we adopted Precious and tried to bond her and Luke I would intervene at the first sign of aggression. Probably too much for the sake of their bond- I know bunnies need to work out who is top bun, I just get too nervous when it looks like someone is going to bite or lunge.

Aww Sarah, that’s so nice ?- and probably just what Lukie needs. He’s such a neurotic little guy but you’re right- absolutely adorable. I wish I could figure out how to post pics, I have so many of him!

Tobyluv, thank you- I hope so too ☺. That’s a pretty impressive record you have- 5 pairs of bunnies bonded!!! And none of them pre-introduced- definitely great for me to hear (read- lol).

Boymom, you’re right- we definitely need to select the new bunny based on her personality with other rabbits and how we think Luke would get along with her. I love black rabbits with white noses- Luke is my third bunny with that coloring! Precious was all black with a little lionhead mane. I’m not going to allow myself to be biased though! I’m going to call or email some rescues and describe Lukie’s personality and hopefully there will be some good matches for him!

[Deleted User]

I’ve briefly skimmed some of this but I just want to add that going slow over time also helps with your own confidence. I know for some people bonding probably doesn’t worry them in the slightest but for me I was a bag of nerves. I’d had a bad experience with two males before I bonded my current male and female pair so I was terrified that something would go wrong and I felt under so much pressure. But each day that went on I got more and more confident and it was such a buzz to see each new interaction between the two of them, no matter how small. It gives you a sense of achievement each time you go a little longer with sessions. The more time you can spend just observing them even when they aren’t in the same space is just so beneficial aswell. I had my Trixie living side by side with Daryl for about 5 months (she was waiting to be spayed during this time) so I think this worked in my favour because you get to how they settle in to the environment and learn their behaviours and personality. Obviously how long people spend on bonding varies but it helps so much to not feel like it needs to be rushed. Bonding my bunnies is one of the best things I’ve ever done, as cheesy as it sounds, but it just feels so rewarding. In a sense I’m lucky because I have a wrong way of bonding to compare with a right way and it really helps to see the difference taking it slow can really make

[Mikey]

Blue and Bombur didnt meet at all before we brought Bombur home. They clicked almost instantly as Bombur was very submissive and Blue was very dominant. A few dominant humps and a few “get in your place” nips and the two grew inseparable. Wherever Blue goes, Bombur shadows behind him. Whenever Blue wants to cuddle, he nudges Bombur then flops on top of him. Theyre little love buns

[Dee]

Awww that is just adorable, Mikey ?!!! You must have been thrilled that it was so easy! My first pair, BunBun and Belli were the same way. They are the pair in my avatar and their story is on my profile page. BunBun led and Nelli followed- they loved each other so much. After seeing them, I feel that Lukie is missing out by being alone. Even though he wasn’t able to bond with Nelli or Precious, I feel that I owe it to him to try again. I wish we could tell if a bunny wants to be alone or have a partner!

Eddy, that definitely doesn’t sound cheesy- it’s so amazing to watch the bond that bunnies form, and playing a part in it- even as the lowly human lol- is an honor. I really appreciate reading about your approach to bonding your bunnies slowly, because I also felt very nervous and pressured to get them bonded, quick! The rescue I went to encouraged marathon bonding which is great with the right bunnies and a very brave referee, but not for everyone or everybun. I know rabbits aren’t like people, but I know I would rather spend small amounts of time with someone before suddenly being put in the same house with them to live happily ever after. I hope I gain confidence like you did- I very much relate to being frightened of bonding bunnies after a bad experience. Ever since Lukie gave Nelli stitches, I’ve been so scared of an injury when trying to bond him. Every time him or Precious would make a sudden move at each other, I was holding my breath. And with any nipping or lunging, I immediately grabbed the bunnies and separated them.

I’m so excited about getting a friend for Luke now, I want to do it right away!! I’m having a family party at my house on the 14th, though, and since the new bunny will be in the kitchen, where everyone congregates, I need to hold off until after then. I’ve been on Petfinder looking at all the beautiful lady bunnies- maybe Lukie could have a harem ?!!!

One problem I’ve had with bonding involving Luke though- since he is so afraid of being picked up or moved in any way, I have found it difficult to get him to neutral territory to interact with his potential mate. Once I moved him to the neutral space, he would run and hide from me whenever I approached him, so the bonding sessions werent very consistent. I’m wondering if I could somehow make it his choice to go to a certain spot in the house where I could bond him and his wife-to-be. He is such a nervous little thing, it’s not easy!

[Author]

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