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Forum THE LOUNGE Rabbit Rescue: How to cope with emotional distress

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    • moonbunny
      Participant
      44 posts Send Private Message

        Hey everyone,

        I’ve been a bunny mum for close to five years now, but I’ve long avoided getting involved in the rabbit-rescue scene because I was afraid of what I would find. Well, I knew what I would find, and I didn’t feel strong enough to handle it.

        However, I took the plunge a couple of days ago and joined a local Facebook group. At first I felt comforted knowing there were educational and rescue efforts going on in my country, but soon I became very distressed. I started checking the group often (almost as if to make sure each person got the correct info), and I saw such horrific neglect and abuse. 

        When I encounter these posts, I either feel really angry or really sad, or both. I’ve been told that I’m a sensitive person in general, but I’m especially sensitive when it comes to animals and animal abuse. I was lying awake tonight thinking of a poor bun who passed away because his owner refused to seek medical attention, and I almost forgot about all the work I have to do tomorrow! (I’m scared that I’ll become too distressed to focus properly on some assignments and tasks I’m working on.)

        I know that I could simply not engage in the group, but these bunnies need my help and I want to help out however I can. 

        Have any of you experienced anything similar? How do you deal with the emotional distress that comes with being involved in educational/rescue efforts? Do you perhaps take breaks from it or does it get better with time? Do you remove these types of posts from your regular feed so you have to go into the group/site to view them?

        I’m sorry if this is a heavy topic, but I’d really appreciate some advice. At the moment I am not involved offline yet (there are no rescues in my city but I may travel to a neighbouring city to help out in the future), so I am terrified of what will happen when I actually see these things first-hand.

        Thank you,

        Laura 


      • Bam
        Moderator
        16838 posts Send Private Message

          This is not a too heavy topic. I think many of us react like you do. I don’t have any very good tips for you. For some people it’s comforting to try and help where they can, to make the world a tiny bit better place (that’s the most any human being can hope for). For others getting too close can be devastating and lead to depression and exhaustion.

          If you choose to engage in animal rescue activities I think you should figure out and write down your (good) reasons for doing it. Something you can go back to when it feels extra tough, sth to remind yourself of why you’re doing it, what it’s all for. I think that’s profoundly important for everybody who works with mistreated or sick or otherwise suffering humans or animals.


        • moonbunny
          Participant
          44 posts Send Private Message

            Posted By bam on 1/01/2018 4:44 PM

            This is not a too heavy topic. I think many of us react like you do. I don’t have any very good tips for you. For some people it’s comforting to try and help where they can, to make the world a tiny bit better place (that’s the most any human being can hope for). For others getting too close can be devastating and lead to depression and exhaustion.

            If you choose to engage in animal rescue activities I think you should figure out and write down your (good) reasons for doing it. Something you can go back to when it feels extra tough, sth to remind yourself of why you’re doing it, what it’s all for. I think that’s profoundly important for everybody who works with mistreated or sick or otherwise suffering humans or animals.

            Hi bam. I am definitely feeling very drained. I got up to post this because I was unable to sleep. I think that some people are not well suited to this sort of thing, so maybe I should pace myself. I remember when I volunteered at a cat/dog shelter once it took a couple of days for my heart to calm down. 

            I think that perhaps I should remove the posts from my regular feed, and not go to the group every day. I’m not going to give up, but I will definitely pace myself. 

            When I see neglected buns, I sometimes think “That could be my Nibby”, and I go hug her and am thankful that she’s okay. But not all buns have someone to stand up for them, and I’d like to stand up for those buns a little.


          • joea64
            Participant
            1423 posts Send Private Message

              I’ve been connected with Friends of Rabbits, the rabbit rescue in the Washington DC metro area from whom I adopted Panda and Fernando, since last summer, so I know where you’re coming from here. I don’t actually work in rabbit rescues but I keep up with their efforts so I know the sorts of things that go on, and I’ve also visited a number of other rabbit rescues’ websites and social-media sites.


            • moonbunny
              Participant
              44 posts Send Private Message

                Posted By joea64 on 1/02/2018 7:26 AM

                I’ve been connected with Friends of Rabbits, the rabbit rescue in the Washington DC metro area from whom I adopted Panda and Fernando, since last summer, so I know where you’re coming from here. I don’t actually work in rabbit rescues but I keep up with their efforts so I know the sorts of things that go on, and I’ve also visited a number of other rabbit rescues’ websites and social-media sites.

                It breaks my heart to see what people are capable of, and I think you can tell a lot about a person by the way they treat animals. On the flip side, though, rescues are also a beaming example of people who risk a lot to save innocent lives, and that raises my spirits. Seeing happy, healthy buns that have been rescued and placed in good homes always warms my heart.


              • Muchelle
                Participant
                1141 posts Send Private Message

                  Hi! I think it’s a very interesting topic I am a volunteer paramedic so I’ve sorta been through some of these thoughts on my early days of that activity (you see a whole lot of ignorance and neglect when caring for humans too, sadly).

                  I have a lot of thoughts and I’m just gonna write them, I hope I won’t come out as patronizing or judgemental, that’s really not my intention.

                  I obviously can’t know the details of the group you’ve joined, but many animal rescue groups on social media push on gruesome/disturbing imagery to move people, so that can be something that disturbs you profoundly. I am against this policy, so that’s why I am not keen on joining such FB groups: they only make me angry… Also, you can’t correct each and every stupid thing that people say on social media. It would be a burden too great to take.

                  The first thing that comes to my mind is that if you are bothered to the point of having troubles with your normal life, you should probably reconsider your membership to that FB group for the moment and take some time to step back and consider if that is what’s best for you. If you have some spare time you could try to join in person the staff of a shelter and go help. You’d still see bad things, but the empowerment of knowing you’re cleaning their cages or just playing with them might just be the thing to help you overcome the distress. Or if you can’t, you could get directly in touch with a shelter and donate or share their events/activities to raise awareness and funds It would still be a huge help!

                  What Bam said it’s actually a thing that we psychologists may say to volunteers. Write down your reasons, but also write down what bothers you and why, what you enjoy and why. That will really guide you towards the best way for you to be helpful without taking a toll on your daily life and mental health.

                  When I teach to my fellow volunteers I always talk about the difference between sympathy and empathy, guess it’s a good moment to share it on here as well!
                  The word sympathy originates from the ancient greek expression “to suffer together”, while empathy comes from “to be inside someone’s suffering”. Basically right now you’re in “sympathy” with the suffering buns, feeling their pain and making it personal to you (thinking it could be your bun and being very upset). The best approach would be to be in “empathy”, so to understand that they are suffering, but also to have very clear in mind that you are separate from that, which will let you keep a clear mind and do whatever activity you’ll choose to do to help without constantly being in distress for them.

                  Of course it’s not something you learn immediately, but I wanted to write it out so that, if you want, you can think about this and see if it helps you achieving your most honorable intent to help other people and other bun-buns

                  [ok really now I shut up ]


                • moonbunny
                  Participant
                  44 posts Send Private Message

                    Posted By Muchelle on 1/02/2018 7:04 PM

                    Hi! I think it’s a very interesting topic I am a volunteer paramedic so I’ve sorta been through some of these thoughts on my early days of that activity (you see a whole lot of ignorance and neglect when caring for humans too, sadly).

                    I have a lot of thoughts and I’m just gonna write them, I hope I won’t come out as patronizing or judgemental, that’s really not my intention.

                    I obviously can’t know the details of the group you’ve joined, but many animal rescue groups on social media push on gruesome/disturbing imagery to move people, so that can be something that disturbs you profoundly. I am against this policy, so that’s why I am not keen on joining such FB groups: they only make me angry… Also, you can’t correct each and every stupid thing that people say on social media. It would be a burden too great to take.

                    The first thing that comes to my mind is that if you are bothered to the point of having troubles with your normal life, you should probably reconsider your membership to that FB group for the moment and take some time to step back and consider if that is what’s best for you. If you have some spare time you could try to join in person the staff of a shelter and go help. You’d still see bad things, but the empowerment of knowing you’re cleaning their cages or just playing with them might just be the thing to help you overcome the distress. Or if you can’t, you could get directly in touch with a shelter and donate or share their events/activities to raise awareness and funds It would still be a huge help!

                    What Bam said it’s actually a thing that we psychologists may say to volunteers. Write down your reasons, but also write down what bothers you and why, what you enjoy and why. That will really guide you towards the best way for you to be helpful without taking a toll on your daily life and mental health.

                    When I teach to my fellow volunteers I always talk about the difference between sympathy and empathy, guess it’s a good moment to share it on here as well!
                    The word sympathy originates from the ancient greek expression “to suffer together”, while empathy comes from “to be inside someone’s suffering”. Basically right now you’re in “sympathy” with the suffering buns, feeling their pain and making it personal to you (thinking it could be your bun and being very upset). The best approach would be to be in “empathy”, so to understand that they are suffering, but also to have very clear in mind that you are separate from that, which will let you keep a clear mind and do whatever activity you’ll choose to do to help without constantly being in distress for them.

                    Of course it’s not something you learn immediately, but I wanted to write it out so that, if you want, you can think about this and see if it helps you achieving your most honorable intent to help other people and other bun-buns

                    [ok really now I shut up ]

                    Hi Muchelle! Thank you so much for your reply and your advice. Bam mentioned you in a thread I started when Nibbles lost a piece of her ear to tissue necrosis after having an IV, and he/she told me that the same had happened to your Kuro.

                    The bunny rescue scene where I live is very small at the moment. At first I thought there were no rescues at all, but now I’ve found about five in total (across the entire country!). The group I joined is a nationwide community dedicated to basic bunny education, fostering, rehoming, etc. I think they use Facebook rather than a website because it’s easier to reach people and spread information that way. I’ll be honest, though: I’m shocked when I see questions about flopping, or diet, or anything similar because Google is a tab away and there are dozens of really great bunny websites out there! But it’s not for me to judge, and I try to answer things when I can.

                    I don’t feel that the group uses disturbing photos to move members as the volunteers usually preface their sad/disturbing posts with warnings. Unfortunately, rabbit myths run rampant here and animal abuse is often a result. A cousin of mine recently considered buying two buns for her young daughter and keeping them in a tiny hutch, but luckily they gave up on that idea. When people come over to visit, they’re stunned to learn that Nibbles lives in our living room and runs right up to me for pets.

                    Unfortunately, the closest rabbit rescue is one city over, but I will try my best to volunteer there. Being with the buns will definitely lift my spirits! No matter how tiring or stressful my day has been, Nibbles always knows how to cheer me up. Somehow she’s even able to ease my pain if I have a bad headache. It’s simply amazing.

                    I’m getting better at separating myself from the sad stories. Doing something else (such as watching cute buns on Instagram or playing with Nibbles) really helps.


                  • Muchelle
                    Participant
                    1141 posts Send Private Message

                      First of all… I’m so very glad it’s a “serious” group that uses warnings and don’t abuse shock value
                      Ignorance is a huge problem here, I’m from Italy and here rabbits are food, they just recently were recognized as pets. But if you even could educate your cousin it’s a huge help. Take it one person at a time, use your efforts on people that are intellligent and will actually listen to you and it’s sure as day that they’ll do the same with others, like a ripple on water.

                      I’m used to be ridiculed by people when they get to know that I’ve spent 2 months locked inside home to nurse K back to health when he had his last huge medical problem, but I’m also used to that same people be amazed to see how clever and nice he is once they get to meet him


                    • moonbunny
                      Participant
                      44 posts Send Private Message

                        Posted By Muchelle on 1/03/2018 5:45 AM

                        First of all… I’m so very glad it’s a “serious” group that uses warnings and don’t abuse shock value
                        Ignorance is a huge problem here, I’m from Italy and here rabbits are food, they just recently were recognized as pets. But if you even could educate your cousin it’s a huge help. Take it one person at a time, use your efforts on people that are intellligent and will actually listen to you and it’s sure as day that they’ll do the same with others, like a ripple on water.

                        I’m used to be ridiculed by people when they get to know that I’ve spent 2 months locked inside home to nurse K back to health when he had his last huge medical problem, but I’m also used to that same people be amazed to see how clever and nice he is once they get to meet him

                        I’m Portuguese (well, half Portuguese, half Brazilian) so I understand the “rabbits are food” issue. It disturbs me to know that it’s still very popular  

                        Sometimes it feels overwhelming, but it’s important to remember that every little bit helps, and many people are willing to learn!  I’m sorry to hear about Kuro being unwell. Is he better now? Lots of people have treated me badly, too. When my first bunny Bunkey died some people made horrible jokes. I find that it’s best not to keep those people in your life. 

                        P.S. Is your bun named “Kuro” as in the Japanese word for black?


                      • Muchelle
                        Participant
                        1141 posts Send Private Message

                          Ah so we’re almost neighbors Well, I surely don’t go bother people that eat rabbit (it’s still one of my faves food even if I don’t buy/order rabbit meat anymore), but if they even dare to use the “ah, he’s ready for the oven!” joke more than 3-4 times I sure remind them that cat/dogs/babies are delicious as well. It usually works and they shut up ^_^ I don’t really care if they get offended

                          Hehe yep, it’s black in japanese and it sounds like “culo”, which is the only part of him I could see for the first half year he got stuck with me

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                      Forum THE LOUNGE Rabbit Rescue: How to cope with emotional distress