Good bye Sebastian, love you lots and I miss you

[MyDearSebastian]

The sadness is overpowering and I came across this wonderful website. I wanted to record my feelings and my memories before they fade – I hope they will never fade. 

My baby Sebastian has just passed away after spending a wonderful 3 years with me. This was totally unexpected and I cannot stop thinking about him. He was a lovely sweet black rex, who was so smart that he could do tricks, learned how to use the little box all by himself, always loved to groom himself lots to keep clean, even straight after getting a good pet. He was a tough little guy, who seemed to like girls rather than boys, almost every male friend I had who saw him got bitten. He never bit me though, instead he would give me lots of kisses and i would kiss him back. 

I feel so guilty after his death. A month ago i noticed him having runny poops on and off, so I contacted the vets, since his behaviors were very normal, they told me to keep an eye on him, so I didn’t take him to the vets right away. After a week or so the runny poops didn’t stop, I got worried and decided to take him for a check up. Vets gave me some meds for gas and asked if I wanted to do an x-ray. At that time I thought it was just gas, which he had before when he had a bladder infection, and meds cured his bladder infection very quickly. I thought this time it was the same. He didn’t feel pain anywhere, so I decided to just take the meds. After one cycle of syringe feeding, he still was not better, so I took him to the vets again. the second vet gave me the same meds, without any mentioning of doing further check up and just told me to feed it to him and he should recover. After hearing his words, I didn’t feel so worried, and didn’t ask to do further check ups because the vet didn’t mention it to me this time. Things went downhill very quickly. I took him to the vets again on an emergency at 3am in the morning, he was staying in a corner not moving not eating, his belly got really big and I was super worried. The vets gave him some subcutan fluids and meds, and asked me if I want him to be hospitalized with every check up possible. I couldn’t afford the hospitalization fee, so I chose the best option I could afford for him, which was to get the subcutan fluid injections, and if he is not feeling any better after that, a blood test. After that trip to the vets, he seemed a little more energetic, but after a few hours, he started grinding his teeth, wouldn’t eat or drink, not even with a syringe. when this happened it was 2am in the morning. I called the vets and arranged a check up as soon as possible, at 7:30. Then I kept checking up to see if he was doing okay until 4am, in which I was so tired and had to get some sleep. when I woke up three hours later, he had passed away. 

I was devastated, if I had known it was his last night with me, I would have held him in my arms and let him sleep with me. I would have stayed awake the whole night looking after him, I wonder if he was scared when he took his last breath. I ask my self everyday, if I had taken him to the vets sooner, if i chose to do the x-ray on the first visit, could he still be alive? I guess I will never know but these thoughts still haunt me. I could have done so much more for him, why didn’t I see this coming. 

My granddad passed away recently too, so I wonder if Sebastian is with him now. I hope he can come and visit me in my sleep sometimes. I hope he knows my family and all I love him to pieces and I am so sad to see him go. I feel sorry for taping him on the nose when he chewed on the chords, and telling him off when he chewed the furniture. I wish I had spend more time with him, even just having him sat beside me doing nothing. 

I hope he is happy and free of pain and illness across the rainbow bridge. I hope he saw my friend’s bunny who passed away 2 years ago and became friends. I hope he knows that someone who loves him very much is thinking of him everyday and will never forget him. My room is so empty without his huge cage, his toys and hays, and his little body. 

Sebastian, I miss you so much. Thank you for those amazing three years, and I will always love you. 

[Bam]

I’m very sorry for your loss. I hope Sebastian is with your grandfather now, and with your friend’s rabbit.

You say his belly got very big, that is a sign of bloat. It’s a condition that’s practically always deadly, no matter what vet care measures are taken.

It’s so very hard to lose a bunny. Please don’t blame yourself. You clearly loved Sebastian and you did what you could, you took him to the vet when he was ill. We can’t do much more, us being only humans and not gods. In retrospect our brains always come up with a million what-ifs and I-should-haves. That’s a normal part of grieving, let it be just that.

Binky free, ****Sebastian****

[tobyluv]

I’m sorry about the loss of your sweet Sebastian. He knew how much you loved him and he returned that love to you.

[Luna]

Your Sebastian sounds like he was such a sweet bun. You did the best thing we could ever do for our buns, which is on Day 1 when you gave him a loving home. He knows you will always love him.

Binky free Sebastian

[Author]

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