bunny / owner relationship in trouble

[ichigo mew mew]

So its been a year since my baby darling died and my freinds decided to gift me a new bunny

I was very attached to my old bunny, Momo, his personality was spot on perfect and compatible with mine, the only one issue i had with him was litter training and honestly i lived well with it. He loved cuddles, petting and huggs, he responded well to treats and all i had to do was shake his treat bag and hed come running from miles away to me. I felt unconditional love from him and i loved him as my world

The new bunny, Kishu, is 9 months old when they brought him from the store and i guess maybe because he was kept in a cage for so long he has his issues, he hates being picked up, hes not into petting or cuddles, hes not into any treats ive tried (he eats most of the stuff but doesnt care much for them) all he wants to do is hop arround and not be disturbed.

I dont use cages at my home, i dont see the point of caging a pet other than to punish them for something wrong, my pets always stayed free in my room that is bunny proofed and quite large, and other open areas

The thing is… what sort of happiness can i give this bunny other than freedom to roam?

I dont know how to bond with a pet who even though has learned to tolerate my presence doesnt want to have anything with me.

I know im being selfish but i feel an emptyness inside that can only be filled with the love of a bunny, and i though maybe with time and training i may help kishu overcome his fear of… well honestly hes afraid of everything, but at least to overcome his fear of me and with time bond with him and have a relationship where he feels he can get love and so could i

But im afraid that by him not liking any treats, i dont have a way to make him associate petting with a good thing, all the training tecniques i know use treats so he can associate good behaviour with a reward, right now im lost in how to help my new baby boy be more confy in his new life, and i keep selfishly wondering how will i live on with a pet who isnt happy with me

Anyone have any tips on how i can bond better with Kishu and make us both happy?

ps (i do not force kishu into things he doesnt like, i will not force him to do what i want, i only wish to find a way that could help him be at ease with me and perhaps get to a point where we are both happy with each other)

[Deleted User]

First off, how long have you had him? It can take months for a bunny to trust you and feel comfortable. Some buns can even take a year or two. There are buns that are naturally more independent, and will only want attention on their terms.
Some things you can do: stop picking him up or trying to. Most buns don’t enjoy being picked up and are terrified of it. Stop trying to cuddle and pet him. It will only make him be more distrusting. It’s all about baby steps. Lay on the floor with him and don’t reach out to touch him. Eventually his natural curiosity will take over and he’ll climb on you or sniff you or a little of both. After a while of him doing this, reach out your hand. If he’s responsive to it and doesn’t shy away, then attempt to pet him for a few seconds. Go at his pace.
I’ve had my boys for 7 months. Bombur is basically a golden retriever. He wants all the attention and loves to be cuddled and kissed and will lay on the bed with me and my husband for hours. Asriel is still shy and very independent. He’ll hop around for hours and lay on the other side of the room. He’ll come over for some boops, but if you reach out to pet him, 9 times out of 10 he will run away and stare at you. I spend a good hour with Az on the floor every night stroking him and letting him climb and sniff me to get him to feel less shy.
All about patience.

[DanaNM]

Sorry for your loss of Momo.

How long have you had Kishu? Some bunnies can take a while to open up, and I’m confident that you’ll find something to do together that will make things click.

I adopted Moose about 6 months ago, and he is just finally enjoying pets.

I do think shy and fearful bunnies especially benefit from having an area that is “theirs” alone when they are free-range. So, a cage or pen that is kept open for them to come and go, or even a corner of the room with lots of hidey boxes, will help him feel safer. This would be his area to retreat to when he feel scared or wants to be alone. I’m sure he feels very exposed going from a cage to having free run, so may just need a home base to feel more comfortable.

I would say rather that using treats specifically, hand feed his regular meals of veggies and pellets (at least some of them) when you first feed him each day.

Next, spend lots of time on the floor with him (read a book, watch tv, play on your phone, etc), but play hard to get. Ignore him completely if he approaches you, let him sniff you and explore all around without trying to pet him. This also helps him learn what you look like from all angles.

Only pick him up for nail trims and other medical necessities. Most bunnies do not like being picked up (even the ones that tolerate it well). The ones that do are outliers for sure.

When he lays near you when you are on the floor and is relaxed, you can “ask” to pet him by placing your hand on the ground in front of him, pinky down, so the back of your hand is facing his face. If he lowers his head, he wants pets. If not, no worries, don’t push the matter.

I would also experiment with different types of toys for him. Some bunnies like to toss things, some like noisy things, some like to shred, to climb, etc. Time will tell what he’s into. Bunston was very shy at first, but it turned out he LOVED to climb on things! When we put a step for him to get up onto the couch, he would climb all over it and lounge on the back.

It is a little odd that he doesn’t like treats. Is is appetite good otherwise? Eats hay, veggies, pellets? I usually just use pellets with my two as their treats as they go crazy for them and get a fairly limited ration each day.

I think the most important tip is patience. He may very well surprise you once he gets more settled and learns that he is in a safe space.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Deleted User]

Dana you’re so right about the cage! Asriel loves his cage! It’s like his little hideaway. Even when it’s his turn to be out sometimes he’ll still go there. It’s his little safe haven when he’s feeling shy. He’s way more accepting of love in his cage too.

[ichigo mew mew]

truth be told i only have kishu for a week now, but im just scared that he doesnt respond to treats cause thats the way i know how to train bunnys, ive taken care of rescue bunnies before and all went well, i think he might have a trauma from the pet shop.

he eats well, just doesnt go crazy for anything, he wont eat carrots, mint, banana, cranberry raisins, and the other treats ive tried hell leave them be for a while and then snacks a bit like the regular food

he has hiding spots in the room and a litter box, just no cage, hes on my bed right now sleeping, he jumps on his own, but if i move an inch hell get scared and run away

[Deleted User]

A week is not long at all. Patience. And not all buns like treats. Asriel finally started liking treats about a month ago. Before that was strictly a pellets, hay, and greens bun. But be patient. He’ll get there eventually

[DanaNM]

Oh yes, a week is no time at all, especially coming from a pet store situation!!! Don’t feel bad at all.

Do consider getting a cage for him as a safe spot, even if it’s kept open all the time. Since that’s what he was used to, he might feel much safer with one. Since he’s going to be free-range it doesn’t even need to be big or fancy.

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Deleted User]

Don’t fret just yet! I have my lovely Ophelia, whom I got in March of this year. So I have had her for nearly 8 months now. I got her when she was only 12 weeks old. She was very wary, very jumpy, and didn’t want to be around me at all at first. I would offer her pellets and she would come to me, snag a few in her mouth, then run off and eat them and only come back to get more and run off to eat those as well. She took a while to warm up to me, at least 1 month for her to come up and actually eat all of my offerings without taking a few steps away from me. Then within 2-3 months she was comfortable staying laying down while I walked nearby, instead of jumping up and running off when I approached. And then at about 4 months of having her home she would let me give her pets and love. To be honest, only within the last month has she really been the one seeking ME out for attention. She will come up on the couch or on my bed and ask for pets, or sometimes if I’m doing other things she will just nudge my ankles until she gets some love.

I know it’s hard and you just wish he would trust you already. YOU know that he can trust you so naturally you just want him to come to that realization as well. But unfortunately, the nature of prey animals is to be untrusting until proven otherwise. So it will take you some time but I think if you keep patience and don’t do things that are detrimental (like picking him up) you’ll bond with him and it will seem to fly by. Each milestone in your relationship will be so exciting, and that’s so worth being patient and waiting for. Like my Ophelia, I was soooo happy when I noticed that we got to a point that she was actually ok with me stepping right over her and her not seeming phased. And then she would let me check teeth and nails with no problem. now, she’s been coming up in my bed at night and cuddling under the covers with me

[sarahthegemini]

Seriously, you’ve had her a week. You need patience.

[joea64]

I’ve had Panda and Fernando since August, and Panda is still very shy and reserved and doesn’t like me to pet her most of the time though she likes being talked to and is definitely getting comfortable with being close to me when I’m holding floor sessions with the buns in the X-pen. Time is the universal solvent.

[ichigo mew mew]

so update on the situation, kishu viciously atacked me out of the blue, he peed on the bed and i gently directed him out of the bed to the floor as per usual, when i got down to the floor to direct him to his cage he bite me severly and chased me across the room bitting me, i jumped on my bed to get away and tried to leave trought the other side but he turned arround and bit me again. I had to trow a towel on top of him so i could put him in his cage, he stayed vicious the whole day banging the cage. I spoke with the vet about this and she said i should keep him in the cage for 3 days and ignore him, i did that for 2 days, i let him out today and its like it never happened, he still doesnt respond to treats and doesnt care for touching much but i stayed in the floor and let him hop arround, he did aproach me but he seems uninterested in me or the treats i had for him, he only likes to munch on the cardboard of the toilet paper rolls for fun.
I know it can take time with some bunnies, i just wonder if im doing ok because i dont have experience with this sort of behaviour and ive read a bunch about the issue but i cant figure out why he attacked me like that since i didnt do anything he wasnt used to or agressive
this bun is a real chalenge and i wonder if ill be able to keep up

[DanaNM]

Oh my…!

Not quite sure I agree with the vet’s advice…. but I do think some settling in time is needed.

All I can think of was that he felt threatened? Some bunnies get aggressive over “their” territory, which in the case of a free-range bunny, could be your whole apartment.

I’m wondering if you should try a cage + pen (as a “yard”) set up while you are bonding with Kishu, then slowly expand to more and more space??

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

[Wick & Fable]

http://youtu.be/HxV0j7SwBbk

I found this a while ago. It’s a very old video, but I think it presents some really good ideas, things to think about, and practical trust exercises. Do you think trying a method similar to this may be beneficial?

The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.

[ichigo mew mew]

thanks for the video, i will try those tecniques and see ^w^

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