And I panicked

[Deleted User]

Bombur and Asriel finally went to have their much anticipated bonding date today. I put down neutral smelling blankets in their room, and then set the xpen up. Both buns just wanted to sniff around, mainly at each other. Asriel kept trying to sniff Bombur’s bum and I kept panicking that he was going to bite him, so I’d always pull Bombur away. They also kept trying to go in the same hidey house, which was fine when they were 8 weeks old, but at 5 months old only one of them can fit. So they’d panick and scurry, which made me feel like a fight was about to break out, so I’d pull one away from the other. Bombur kept putting his head down for grooms, and Asriel was having none of it. He’d sniff and stare at Bombur and hop away. I stopped after 10 minutes cause I was freaking out that Asriel would eventually take a nibble out of Bombur. I feel like I failed them. Asriel is now in his cage and Bombur and him are flopped next to each other with Bombur on the outside. Any tips for not panicking?

[spunkysmokey]

I’ve never bonded rabbits but I’ve done a lot of research, and maybe this is not the same but I have bonded dozens of dogs (literally) and just be patient your doing fine. Chances are if they were not attacking each other that’s a good start! If they start to mount one another that is to display who’s boss, don’t stop them right away but just judge out the situation. Panicking is normal, we don’t want are bunny’s to get hurt. Where thick gloves when bonding so you can let them get close but if they start to fight you can stop them right away. Also I’ve heard that if you don’t feed them an hour before they will be more hungry and you can give them treats/hay together so they associate each others presence with good things. Also keep in mind every bunny is different so it could take longer /shorter time to bong. hope this helped a bit!

Here’s a link to a good video I’ve seen on it ((((video))))

[Mikey]

Nipping and mounting are acceptable, remember. If you see bum sniffing, it likely will lead to either mounting or a nip. Neither of which will hurt the bun being nipped/mounted You have to be careful as every time you pull one away, you severe whatever bonding process they tried to start. They cant form a bond if you dont let them try to create the bond in the first place.

I dont really have advice for how not to panic, other than to disconnect yourself a bit and realize that what they are doing is normal and needed to create a bond. Obviously, if you see any actual fighting, intervene. I wanted to add that this is often the hardest part for people who bond. We dont want to see our buns possibly hurt, even if its needed for them to bond together. I had to do all bonding alone with my three because my partner would break into tears from the stress of seeing the bunnies get nippy with one another. You are definitely not alone in how you are feeling

[sarahthegemini]

You haven’t failed them. You just need to breeeeeathe I remember when I first put Peanut and Buttercup together, when they approached one another nose to nose I was so scared that something awful was going to happen. It was a sigh of relief when they just nose booped eachother.

Have a pan and spoon ready (hit the spoon on the pan if you need to distract them) and watch them. Don’t hit the pan unless you have too. Don’t hit the pan because you anticipate somethings going to happen. It’s a fine line I know because you don’t want them to actually hurt one another but you don’t want to stop them before they’ve had a chance to check each other out.

Is it possible to have some help? Perhaps for the first few sessions, you have somebody else in charge and you leave the room?

[Deleted User]

Thanks everyone!
My husband was in the room with me, but he was incredibly unhelpful. He’d watch me panic when they went near each other and just say they’re fine.
I think my biggest fear is Bombur wanting to mount Asriel. The last time he did that it led to the fight that made us separate them. I think I’ll make the pen area a bit bigger next time and stay in the corner to watch them, and not get trigger hands.

[joea64]

For what it’s worth, mounting behavior can occasionally occur even between bonded rabbits. Panda has been mounting Fernando once a day or so almost on a clockwork schedule; this is very likely intended to reassure herself of her dominant position in the bonding due to having had her other three kits adopted out (their foster mom tells me it started after the other three kits left for their forever homes) and also because of the rather sudden and dramatic change in the buns’ living arrangements. I think it’s something that, like a lot of other things with bunnies, only time will abate.

[Deleted User]

Posted By Asriel and Bombur on 8/29/2017 7:49 AM

Thanks everyone!
My husband was in the room with me, but he was incredibly unhelpful. He’d watch me panic when they went near each other and just say they’re fine.
I think my biggest fear is Bombur wanting to mount Asriel. The last time he did that it led to the fight that made us separate them. I think I’ll make the pen area a bit bigger next time and stay in the corner to watch them, and not get trigger hands.

 your husband sounds just like mine. I haven’t started bonding yet but any time I am worried and stressed about something either bun he’s just like “they’re fine” …… I’m like ok go away, you aren’t helping!

Anyway, I can imagine the absolute feeling of terror because you just don’t know what they are going to do. There was an accidental fight in the first week that Quincy was home and I was absolutely freaked out. I don’t know how I am going to deal when I have to put them together, because at this point I am almost certain that my female is going to freak out.

While it is necessary for them to have some mounting/nipping to form their bond and work out their relationship, I think that what you’ve done is perfectly fine. In my opinion. So what if it takes you longer? You will have to be comfortable too, because I think they can sense if you are very tense and stressed. I’m sure that with time you will get more comfortable, you’ll learn what part each is going to play in the relationship and you’ll learn to gauge their behavior accordingly. Good luck with everything! And I know it’s much easier said than done, but just try and relax

[DanaNM]

It sounds like you are doing just fine, and that sounds like a positive first day! Better to be safe than sorry in the first dates, as it can be tense!

I would remove the hidey house though, as it could make one bun feel trapped, or they could get territorial over it. 

Another tip, if one puts their head down for grooms, is to pet them both and swap scents. I don’t like to do this later on, but early on I think it helps build trust and positive feelings between them. 

Do try not to physically pull the rabbits away from one another if you can help it, but I am guilty of this too, especially early on when you are still learning their body language and all that. It helps to be armed with a squirt bottle and something to make a loud noise (pot to bang on , the vacuum cleaner, etc). Even clapping can work to dissipate tension. 

. . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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