How to deal with multiple losses?

[bja1039]

Hi everyone, I’m new to this site but not new to bunnies. I’m going through a really rough time and I have no idea how to deal with it, so I’m turning to this community. Back in September, I lost my 9.5 year old female Holland lop Fluffy. She was degrading in health, and one day I came home from work and knew she was giving up. She was bonded with a 3 year old harlequin Dutch. I didn’t want my Dutch girl Lily to be friendless, so I took her bunny dating at a local rescue. She immediately fell in love with a young male Holland lop with beautiful blue eyes and snow white fur. He was only 1.5 years old and had plenty of love and energy to give. We took him home in October and we named him Blitz because he was lightning fast. Fast forward to yesterday morning. I woke up for work and went downstairs to release the babies from the cages. He was hunched up in the corner of his cage clearly uncomfortable and hadn’t eaten anything all night. I took him to the vet asap and they x rayed and found an obstruction in his GI tract. They began treatment and it seemed like everything would be ok. In the afternoon, we got the call that he had passed away. I was and am still in so much shock. I’m heartbroken after recently losing Fluffy and now out of nowhere losing Blitz. I can’t believe his happy life was cut so short and that beautiful face is gone. I’m so upset and angry and I don’t know how to deal with this situation. Lily is alone again and needs more human interaction and meanwhile I’m avoiding the room where the rabbits roam because it’s so painful to be reminded my baby boy is gone. Any recommendations for how to move forward? I’m desperate.

[tobyluv]

I’m very sorry for your losses. I once lost two rabbits in one year, and that meant that my surviving rabbit lost two companions in one year. It was certainly hard for all of us. As in your case, my first rabbit to pass away that year was elderly, but the second one was younger and it was a sudden passing.

Lily really needs your company now and having her near you will hopefully be comforting to you. It would be good if you could not think about the rabbit room with sadness, but think how good it will be for both of you to spend time together. If the room is really too sad for you, can you bring Lily out into another room to be with you? It may also be comforting to her to give her a stuffed toy to snuggle with when you aren’t with her. But if she is prone to chewing, you may not want to do that.

I know that you miss your bunnies so much, and that you are feeling very down now. I hope that you can find comfort in the company of Lily and with the thoughts of the time you got to spend with Fluffy and Blitz.

[sarahthegemini]

Oh hunny what an awful situation, i really can’t imagine how difficult it must be to lose two beautiful souls. I really sympathise with you, but please try to comfort your little Lily. She needs you more than ever, please give her the attention and comfort she needs. You might be able to comfort each other and strengthen the bond you already have with her. My heart goes out to you *hugs to you and Lily*

[Vienna Blue in France]

Hi bja, how you doing now? A week has passed. Any better? We’re here. I notice you havent done any more posts – it helps to talk about it or type, so please, feel free .
((( )))

[bja1039]

Thanks, everyone. I’m still so upset about this situation, and I still really miss Blitz, but it’s getting easier to keep myself together. A few days after we lost Blitz, Lily’s demeanor went back to her old self (energetic, happy, begging, normal appetite, etc), so we realized she was done grieving. We gave it some more time, and then decided to try finding her a new friend. Yesterday we took her to a local rescue for bunny dating. There was one bunny who seemed to click – they kept presenting to each other and were calm enough around each other to groom themselves. We brought him home and have been working on the bonding process. He’s groomed her twice so far, so we’re hopeful. I know it was soon, but I’m not replacing anyone, I just wanted her to not be alone.

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By bja1039 on 3/05/2017 8:27 AM

Thanks, everyone. I’m still so upset about this situation, and I still really miss Blitz, but it’s getting easier to keep myself together. A few days after we lost Blitz, Lily’s demeanor went back to her old self (energetic, happy, begging, normal appetite, etc), so we realized she was done grieving. We gave it some more time, and then decided to try finding her a new friend. Yesterday we took her to a local rescue for bunny dating. There was one bunny who seemed to click – they kept presenting to each other and were calm enough around each other to groom themselves. We brought him home and have been working on the bonding process. He’s groomed her twice so far, so we’re hopeful. I know it was soon, but I’m not replacing anyone, I just wanted her to not be alone.

I think it’s great that you waited til Lily was ready even if it was too soon for you, that shows how much you care about her. It sounds like the bonding is going well so far, fingers crossed it will continue. 

[Vienna Blue in France]

Glad to hear Lily is moving on. Us humans are faaaaar too emotional….. but we all grieve in the whichever way we can. This new bun will help you move on too.

[bja1039]

I now have a bonding question. The newly adopted bunny came with the name Toby, and we haven’t thought of anything to change it to yet. Anyway, Toby grooms Lily a lot, it’s always him doing the grooming. In an effort to get her to groom him back, I did the banana trick of putting some on his face. She quickly cleaned it up and moved on. Any suggestions for getting her to reciprocate or is this something they need to work on without me?

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By bja1039 on 3/07/2017 5:01 PM

I now have a bonding question. The newly adopted bunny came with the name Toby, and we haven’t thought of anything to change it to yet. Anyway, Toby grooms Lily a lot, it’s always him doing the grooming. In an effort to get her to groom him back, I did the banana trick of putting some on his face. She quickly cleaned it up and moved on. Any suggestions for getting her to reciprocate or is this something they need to work on without me?

You can encourage grooming by repeating the banana trick but unfortunately it’s something they’ve got to work out between themselves. It can be a good technique to use if one bun is getting frustrated that the other isn’t grooming them (they don’t need to know the real reason that bun number 2 is licking their head ) but generally leave them to it. 

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