Thoughts on my pamplet?

[Sam and Lady's Human]

I worked on it last night and I’m sure I missed something, I’d love feedback

*updated with changes*

Front page, tri-fold

Back side

 

[bunnyfriend]

Wow! This looks really good!!! What did you make it on?

A suggestion I have is maybe changing the “salad” listing under bunny needs checklist to vegetables because I think maybe some people would think iceberg lettuce when they read the word salad. Idk just a thought! And maybe mentioning that regular cat litter isn’t okay either.

Oh also I think craisins are spelt with and i rather than an e heehee

Btw is that Lady on the bottom?

The whole thing looks really professional. 

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Photoshop

I changed salad, thats a good point. I also added “build up to 2 cups per 6lbs on the diet page.

Crasins is right! Good catch, I think I always spell that wrong

on the back i added (organic, no cat litter or pine shavings)

I tried to just cover the basics in hopes that someone would follow the links to do more research on their own, what do you think?

 

ETA and nope, not Lady  Same coloring though <3

[Stickerbunny]

Craisins are indeed spelled with an I. Looks nice though.

I just had to laugh when I read clean and easily litter trained though… I wish someone would tell my two that now that they are bonded.

[Sam and Lady's Human]

I know Sticker, I was thinking about that. I think in general though, that its true. Lady refuses to littertrain but I think its because her pen is next to Samsons and she’s not fixed. I’m hoping, anyway.

[Stickerbunny]

It seems they are easiest to train if they are solo, once you bring another bun into the picture… meh. I’ve been trying every trick I can find for mine, but no luck so far. But yeah, I know it’s generally true, mine were super easy to train individually.

[emkvet]

Great pamphlet! Looks and sounds great! I think it would be really useful, and I like that it provides web resources as well. Make sure you go through it for spelling errors (the English minor in me found some….), including:

In Living Space: acceptable, exercise

Also, maybe think about including a little more about adoption, or emphasizing it? There is a sentence at the bottom of the front that mentions it, but maybe it would be better to have a bit more about it?

Great job on this, it’s a really good idea!!!!

[bwild]

It looks really good! Way better than the pamphlet they gave me when I got my bunny!

Just a couple things:
-On the back page, the thought in ‘I though a rabbit was a low..’ needs a ‘t’
-The ‘its’ in under the ‘What is a lagomorph’ in the 8th row needs an apostrophe
-8th/9th line same part, might sound better if said, ‘it’s a different kind of social than what we know’
-You really aren’t supposed to start a sentence with ‘but’ or ‘and’
-Under “..low maintenance animal” section, second line, the ‘need’ needs an ‘s’
-Same section, line 14, you have ‘made from’ twice

Sorry, both my parents were teachers, one being an english major, so grammar is kinda my thing lol It was kind of hard to read from my computer (I have a smaller screen) so I’m sorry if something I put actually wasn’t wrong But it really does look good! I wish this had been given to me when I got Penelope. I’m not gonna lie, I was a crap bunny owner for the first year or two because I just didn’t know any better! Then I found you all and Penelope (and now Thumper) thank you all VERY much!!! lol

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Thank you!!!!!
I stared at it so long I really need the fresh eyes!

[bwild]

I totally understand. I can reread a paper I wrote 40 times and then hand it to a friend and she’ll be like ‘dude…uh…you spelled house wrong” whoops lol
Also, the ‘O’ in “owning” on the title needs to be capitalized

[Huckleberry]

Great Idea!!! And it looks great! You just need to do maybe one more read through for proofing. In the rabbit/maintenance section, “need” needs to be “needs” or “it” to “they” and at the bottom of the same section, you repeated “made from”. The Living Space section has a few words that run together, but it looks like that might have just been to get everything to fit, im not sure. (I nit pick, sorry)
Other than that, I dont see anything else that needs attention. Good job! I love the graphics and design of it.

[equalsign]

Like it overall. 

 

That part where you say the cancer treatments “aren’t inexpensive” sounds wrong. It doesn’t read well. I think it should just read “are expensive.”

 

Also, I’m not sure about all the text being centered. I’d be interested to see how it looks left aligned or justified. I think it makes the paragraph ends and beginnings look weird. Kinda gives it that ENDLESS BLOCK OF TEXT quality.

 

Not a fan of the “101” being made with those carrots. If it were me I’d try a pure black stencil of a carrot or more likely get rid of them altogether. Visually it just isn’t flowing for me at all. It’s arresting and it took me too long to get it from a design perspective. It also reinforces carrots as food for rabbits right from the start. I’d list them under your treats section. Rabbits being overfed carrots or having carrots be their only veggie is too common to ignore.

 

Under the food section I would place “alfalfa hay” up with the rest of the hays and add something about “under six months only.” Dunno exactly how I’d format it. Maybe it’s fine. That whole section is really confusing right now, especially with the centered text. The headers need itself to stand out more.

 

The “Living Space” section needs some work. On line 3 “acceptible” should be spelled “acceptable.” On lines 4-5 you say “supplying the necessary8ft of base time,” and I have no idea what you mean. Also, “necessary” and “8ft” should be separated.

 

I would make the first sentence of paragraph 2 end at “Rabbits are indoor pets.” As I note, I like how the Humane Society of the United States puts it better when they say “Domestic rabbits are different from their wild relatives—they don’t do well in extreme temperatures, especially summer heat.” As it stands it might not make sense to a non-rabbit person. They might think “Rabbits live outside. It’s natural. Why can’t mine?” Consider other ways of putting things such as found here:

http://www.humanesociety.org/animals/rabbits/tips/rabbit_housing.html

 

Second paragraph line 1 should say “exposes.” Second parahraph line 2 “themto” should be seperated. I would end that thought as a sentence after “diseases” and then edit what would be your third sentence. That whole thing is a bit too long as one sentence.

 

With the living spaces section I would refer to some sort of authority such as the Humane Society of the United States or the ASPCA (assuming you’re in the US). Their guidelines are essentially what you put there. When they go to the pet store there are only going to be cages, and they need to know that it’s seriously not alright. It’s not just you saying this. Maybe add somewhere in bold that the information used to make this pamplet was from the ASPCA and HSUS. Maybe include them in your links. Otherwise these are just someone’s opinions.

 

The ASPCA has a decent print out page you could have alongside yours:

http://www.aspca.org/pet-care/small-pet-care/general-rabbit-care.aspx

 

 

PS: I have used Photoshop before, and understand that the spellcheck can sometimes break the software. I was always told not to use it. I totally understand (and relate with) why there are so many joined words and such. My stuff used to be full of them.

[peppypoo]

Great pamphlet! I like the little visual details you put into it, like the carrots on the “101” and the curling wire underneath the bunny-proofing title

One thing though – do you think that you could maybe put a semitransparent white box behind your text? I really like the background images, especially on the second page, but it makes the text a little more difficult to read sometimes. With some kind of box you could keep the images visible, and make it more readable at the same time. Also, agreed with equalsign regarding the text alignment…maybe you could play with left or justification.

[bunnyfriend]

Oh just noticed, thought is missing a T in “I thought a rabbit was low maintenance” Sorry! Don’t want to seem critical

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Hows this? Any criticism is ok, I tried different justifications but they weren’t working and gave it a “stiffer” feel than I’m going for, but I did edit a bit and add some para breaks. I took the hay out to simplify, but can put back if you think it needs it.

 

 

That ASPCA is a great print out too!

[Huckleberry]

Awesome!!!

[bunnyfriend]

Looks great!!

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Sweet thanks! I’ll wait until tomorrow and if there are no more changes, attach the jpg and link to psd so anyone who wants can print it

[equalsign]

 I still don’t understand what you mean by “supplying the necessary 8ft of home time.” Could you explain? I think whatever you are trying to say is being lost.

 

The text directly in front of the rabbit’s ears is faded in a weird way. No a big deal, but it’s there.

 

Looking great though!

[Author]

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