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Last Post by UniBunny at 8/19/2011 4:32 PM (13 Replies)
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User is Offline Princess*Smudge
289 posts Send Private Message
8/05/2011 6:53 PM

It's been about 2 years since I've posted here. Life just got away on me and I never seemed to have the time. When I first adopted Smudge I was posting all the time, constantly over-worrying and bragging about my wonderful baby girl. I stumbled upon Binky Bunny before I even adopted Smudge, I was 15 and my mom told me that if I was going to get a rabbit I had to be 100% responsible. Little did she know that making me do my homework on rabbit care would end up meaning that the rabbit cage took up over half our kitchen for 5 years. Smudge was 8 years old this year, and my little princess... and she knew she was royalty. Last week I made an appointment to have her eye looked at, it was a little weepy and she just seemed "off", sluggish and like she was uncomfortable. Within 3 days her whole system had started shutting down, she lost control of her bladder and was unable to move unless she absolutely had to. I knew rabbits were good at hiding their symptoms, but I would have never guessed she was so sick. I was expecting a minor eye irritation or infection. The vet diagnosed Smudge with kidney failure, combined with her arthritis which we were already aware of, she was in a lot of pain. I made the hardest decision I've ever had to make and decided to help her go in peace. I stayed with her until the very end and held her... she was so brave. I wanted to thank everyone here for all the wonderful support and advice I received here when I was a new bun mom. I wanted to leave a little memorial for her in the place where my love for buns began. And I think I wanted to remember that there are people out there that love their rabbits as much as I loved her. I have supportive people in my life, but no one really understood my bond with Smudge. This last week has been the worst, I cry randomly all the time because the littlest things will trigger a memory. I just started taking down her pen tonight and it's taken me all night. Deciding what to keep and what to throw out is awful, I feel like I'm erasing her even though I know logically that could never happen. I had Smudge for her whole life, we literally grew up together.  She was my first fur baby and was there for all the major changes in my life,she was there when I graduated highschool and when I entered university, and she moved with me out on my own for the very first time (and went from owning half a kitchen to half of an entire basement ). She will always be my precious little girl and I hope that she has found a wonderful field and a never ending supply of fresh dill (her favorite). I love you Smudge, I hope you know how much you changed my life. 


User is Offline Monkeybun
Hillsboro, Oregon
10511 posts Send Private Message
8/05/2011 7:09 PM
I am so sorry for the loss of your Smudge. She was beautiful, and obviously well loved and cared for.

Binky Free Princess Smudge! May fields of dill wait for you on the other side of the Bridge.

User is Offline LittlePuffyTail
New Brunswick, Canada
Forum Leader
16314 posts Send Private Message
8/06/2011 2:02 AM
I'm so very sorry for the loss of your bunny friend. Reading your story has me quite teary-eyed. Here at Binky Bunny, we certainly understand the life-changing bond that a person and a rabbit can have. I'm sure Smudge knew how much you loved her. You gave her a last gift of selfless love: letting her go even though it was so hard on you and you stayed with her right till the end. May you find comfort in your many wonderful memories of Smudge. *Hugs*

((((Binky Free Smudge)))))
Proud to be a Bunny Hugger and a voice for the voiceless

User is Offline lashkay
1548 posts Send Private Message
8/06/2011 12:36 PM
You gave her a beautiful gift in the end - letting her go in peace! HUGS I hope your memories that bring sadness now turn to serene joy, soon. She had a lifetime of love with you and she loved you and you did EVERYTHING for her...let that be a comfort to you. She binkies now in complete health as she roots up the dill in the Divine Pasture with the other bunnies!

User is Offline RabbitPam
South Florida
Forum Leader
11069 posts Send Private Message
8/06/2011 12:58 PM
I remember Smudge! I am so sorry. I know how much you adored her. You were a very good bunny Mom and you did as much research as you could to help her live a wonderful happy life with you and your family.

She binkies free over the Rainbow Bridge now. I am sad, but I hope you know how much we feel for you and understand your love and loss of dear Smudge. (That was always a favorite name for me.)
SPIKE, my snuggle bunny (aka Spikey Marbles)

User is Offline Arthur'sMom
177 posts Send Private Message
8/07/2011 11:28 AM
I am so sorry for your loss. I'm new here so I didn't know you or Princess Smudge previously but I only hope I could be as good of a bunny mom as you. She was a beautiful little girl, I'm sure she is watching over you. *HUGS*

User is Offline Princess*Smudge
289 posts Send Private Message
8/07/2011 6:52 PM
Thanks everyone for your support, it really means a lot to me. I've actually found it helpful to lurk around and read through some happier bunny posts, it reminds me of how much fun Smudge and I had together. She will always be my little girl and I keep telling myself that she's watching over me now.

User is Offline TriBun
314 posts Send Private Message
8/08/2011 10:16 AM
I was 15 when I got my first bunny too. When she died, I was so upset I swore I would never get another one. A decade later, here I am. I wish I hadn't waited so long. Let me just tell you the healing power of these little spirits. I don't think you should put Smudges cage away. I think you should use it to save another bunny from the loneliness of a shelter. It sounds like you have so much love to give and I think it would make Smudge very happy.

I hope that didn't sound insensitive, that's not how I meant it. I'm so sorry for your loss and wish you the best.


User is Offline Princess*Smudge
289 posts Send Private Message
8/09/2011 5:06 PM
Don't worry Tribun, you didn't sound insensitive at all. I thought about rescuing another rabbit, but I'm just not ready at the moment. I would love to be able to give a loving home to another bunny, and I definitely agree in the healing power of any animal spirit, but I'm in my last semester of university right now and I'm not sure where I'm going to be when it finishes. If Smudge was still around I would have been perfectly comfortable moving her to a new house or anything like that because I knew she was a very adaptable rabbit. I think I want to be settled before I introduce a new animal into my life. At the moment I also have a 14 year old cat and a 2 year old dog to care for . Thank you for your kind words though. I know that I will have a bun in my life again because Smudge taught me what wonderful companions rabbits can be.

User is Offline TriBun
314 posts Send Private Message
8/10/2011 8:06 AM

 Oh good.  Yes, it does sound like you have a full house and you are smart to wait to be more settled.  Good luck with your last semester, that's quite an accomplishment! 

User is Offline luvmyhunybuny
475 posts Send Private Message
8/12/2011 9:22 AM
I am very sorry for your loss of Princess Smudge. You are very brave for staying with her and holding her while she crossed over. Your love for Smudge is evident in your writing. Binky free Smudge!

User is Offline Zombie-Sue
Des Moines, IA
875 posts Send Private Message
8/12/2011 2:29 PM
*tight hug*

I hope this support has eased your mind

User is Offline Bunzilla!
3 posts Send Private Message
8/18/2011 6:58 PM

I was so sorry to read your post that I had to sign up just to say so.  It sounds like you lost your best friend  When it begins to pass, you will realize how lucky both of you were  Not many bunnies get half a kitchen OR half a basement.  Your girl was really lucky and surely very happy all the time.  People don't understand how closely we can bond with rabbits, but remember that everyone here does.

User is Offline UniBunny
9 posts Send Private Message
8/19/2011 4:32 PM
Princess Smudge, what a lovely name! I'm sure she was a wonderful rabbit, and you a wonderful mum. I'm sure she is eating fields of dill up there. Goodbye Princess Smudge!
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