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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS

Forum THE LOUNGE Upset. Need some help sorting my thoughts.

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    • AbbyGirl
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        I thought I was ready to get another bun.  Now I’m wondering if I made a bad decision bringing these boys home so quickly and not meeting any other ones first.  They are adorable but Hickory is incapeable of walking on our vinyl flooring.  He slides everywhere and will only stay in his litter box.  When I put something on the floor to make it easier for him they just go potty on it.  They don’t like the laundry room because of the washer and dryer and I don’t have hardly any room for a pen in here.  So I put the pen in the living room with a comforter on the floor and sure enough they wouldn’t use the litter box because the fabric was on the floor.  They also want absolutely nothing to do with us.  They pretty much just run away from us.  Won’t even come for treats. 

        I’m now upset and missing Hugo.  My girls are upset because they don’t think the buns like them.  I’m thinking that they aren’t going to be very good house rabbits and that’s the only thing we can really have.  A free range bun.  We don’t have the space for a pen or large cages.  I just don’t know what to do or what to think right now. 


      • mocha200
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          I know it can be hard, but you haven’t had them for that long, they might need some time to warm up to you guys even if Hugo didn’t. moving to a new place can make rabbits litter training go bad, and you probably only notice it when you put something on the floor because they are on the floor more. Lulu still has trouble with litter train and i have had her about a year. it takes time.


        • GrumpyBun
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            (((((Hugs for you)))))

            I’m not sure what to say but I could bear not to reply. I’m sorry you’re feeling so sad. All I can suggest is to give it a least a few days for everyone to start getting used to each other and re-evaluate. It can be hard when you first bring buns home at the best of times; they will be nervous and litter training often goes awry for a bit. To be doing it while missing Hugo must make it harder Don’t give up hope (and don’t underestimate the healing power of a good old fashioned cry).

            Sending you and your family lots of good wishes!


          • AbbyGirl
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              when i got them she said not to put anything on the floor for them because they would go on it. they have been litter trained for a year now. she said they were on vinyl there but Hickory literally cannot walk on it.
              i know it can take a while for them to warm up to us. my main concern right now is how i’m going to be able to house them. most of my home is vinyl flooring and I do not have room for a pen large enough for 1 bun, let alone 2 and I don’t want them to be scared all the time in the laundry room.


            • Otti
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                I think that the way things worked out with Hugo in terms of immediate litter training and immediate comfort with unknown people and a new environment is going to be near impossible to replicate in any new rabbit. You might have to find a way to temporarily restrict the rabbits to a smaller area in order to properly litter train them and then be able to trust them in a larger area.

                Also, must rabbits have trouble walking on vinyl flooring. My rabbit will not set foot on it. I think that’s something you’re going to find in most rabbits you could adopt. I us foam floor mats I bought off of walmart online as flooring for Sammy’s pen. They’re cheap – about 15 bucks for 4 square feet. They also make it easy to clean liquids off of and still soft enough for the bunnies. Some rabbits chew them though which is very dangerous so you’d have to test that out


              • mocha200
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                  hmm. that is a tough situation. have you tried a rug like this to put down?


                • Otti
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                    Do you keep them in the laundry room? You could get a baby gate for the door and try the foam mats as temporary flooring in the room (if they won’t eat them)

                    oh sorry just noticed that you don’t keep them in the laundry room.

                    You can use the foam flooring under their pen. The reality is, if they go on anything you put on the floor they are not litter trained. You will need to train theme by soaking up their urine with paper towels when they pee out of the litter box and putting the wet paper towels in the litter box. Then you’ll have to clean anywhere they pee thoroughly with vinegar, and if it’s fabri just wash it. Also you’ll need to move any stray poops in their litter box as well. It’s a temporary setback but could be solved relatively quickly…


                  • ScooterandAnnette
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                      It can take a while for the buns to warm up to you. Honestly I think it might take longer because they are a pair and have each other and frankly don’t need as much attention from you, but give it some time and see if they come around.

                      As for the flooring, our Bailey has a mental block about vinyl floor. It’s not that the can’t walk on it, he just thinks he can’t. If you put him down on the floor it looks like he’s on ice, his little feet just slide all over. Now we’ve got hardwood on the main floor and 2 area rugs, and he still slides on the hardwood but is slowly getting used to it. Although he still prefers the area rugs!
                      – Annette


                    • allegrabunny
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                        Are hickory’s nails a little long? He might just be scared. It sounds like you might be a little scared too. They are not Hugo and will never be Hugo. They are totally different bunnies, and remember they are prey animals they can sense when you are upset and that makes them upset. Try some puppy pads on the floor. You just got them. I am sure your girls (humans) were overwhelming when they first came home too. It’s a new mom thing. You’ll get it. It will take a little time for them to realize you’re not going to eat them. (-: <


                      • AbbyGirl
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                          I don’t want everyone to think that I want these boy to be just like Hugo and I have no problem litter training. I have done it a few times. Hugo needed to be reminded the first few days too. I just feel so bad for Hickory. They are afraid of the laundry room which is the only spot I have for them. Their litter habits are fine until you put fabric on the floor. She told me they would be that way. They are just those kind of buns that go potty on soft things.
                          I’m just wondering now if I wasn’t as ready as I thought and I know my oldest daughter wasn’t ready because she was crying over Hugo for the first time since he passed because of how different these boys are. She only 6. I feel horrible. The thought of us not being able to keep them because we weren’t really ready or because our home isn’t good for them is heart breaking right now.


                        • allegrabunny
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                            Amy don’t panic. It’s their first day home right. If you are not ready you are not ready. Death and loss are hard no matter what. Six is very young, and it might be the first time your girls are processing not having hugo as hugo equals every bunny. No body thinks you want the boys to be like Hugo. We all realize you’re having a really hard time. It sounds like everybunny involved is upset. Change is hard. Are they comfortable anywhere? They might just be marking as it’s new scary territory. Get them to a safe place and then give them and yourself some space emotionally and physically to adjust. You are a wonderful bun mom and human mom. Your home is a great place they are so lucky to have someone who cares as much as you do. Take a deep breath and calm down. There is no need to panic. You are not doing anything wrong.


                          • AbbyGirl
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                              Their nails were clipped yesterday. They are diggers so I don’t think the foam mats would work. I had been thinking about that. Hickory is so afraid of our floor that he didn’t drink anything since we had brought him home. So I picked him up and put him by the food and water and he slid so much he couldn’t stand there. Then I but the bowls on a rug and put him on it. he was so happy to have food and water. Then I noticed he wouldn’t come out of the box again. I put another rug down and he hopped right out. Since then they have were going potty all over the rugs. That’s when I put them on the comforter. Now they are back on the vinyl and we haven’t had one accident but they also do not want to come out of their box.


                            • allegrabunny
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                                I saw some “DogTown” episode on animal planet that featured a little dog that was terrifed of vinyl floors they had keep putting area mats down and the little guy would go from mat to mat, after some time he did acclimatized to the floor. Remember that bunnies hide. They just do that until they feel comfortable some creatures are shyer than others. And congratulations on having the sliddest floor ever. lol (-; You might try a raisin trail or moving their water and food just out of the box so they can get their food and be comfortable. They sound like the are most likely just scared.


                              • LizzieKnittyBun
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                                  The main thing to realize is that these buns are suddenly in a new place and don’t yet know what to make of it, or the people around them. They haven’t ever really had a stable home environment and the comforting sense of normalcy that comes with it. The only thing that can fix this problem is time. Time will also let them get to know you and realize that you are their new family.

                                  Hugo was a really unique, special bunny. He warmed to you so quickly, and his personality emerged after such a short time. But I think that, once some time has passed, you’ll start seeing your new boys as unique and special too… just in their own way! No bunny is the same. As time passes, and they become more comfortable with their new home and new family, their own personalities will start to come out, and I believe that discovering them will start to be absolutely delightful for you and your family.


                                • AbbyGirl
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                                    I’m almost starting to think I’m making excuses because I really wasn’t ready. I’m at a loss right now. I haven’t been able to stop crying and just want Hugo back.


                                  • AbbyGirl
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                                      Thank you for all the comments. I think I just found out the hard way that I am not emotionally ready to have a new rabbit in the house. I feel horrible about it. I have been very upset since this afternoon and missing Hugo dearly. I don’t want to interact with them and I found myself thinking that I could never love them as much as I did Hugo. I know this is not fair to them. I can’t give them the attention or care they deserve right now. I talked to the shelter and she completely understood. She told me I could try out someone else if I wanted but I am just not ready. Maybe when I am the boys will still be there. Thank you again for all your help, reassurance and support.


                                    • Sarita
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                                        Hugs Amy. Grieving is so hard and we are just all so different when it comes to sadness. You’ve had alot of changes too with your new home so that is something to think about too.


                                      • AbbyGirl
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                                          Thank you Sarita. It has been a very hard week. Hugo passed away the day we rented the truck moved all our furniture. The house still isn’t all unpacked or finished for that matter. I had so much going on that I didn’t realize how much pain I was in.


                                        • mocha200
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                                            I feel so bad for you Amy. This must be really hard on you. I’ll be praying for you and your family!


                                          • AbbyGirl
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                                              Thank you. That means so much to me.


                                            • katiep
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                                                I’m sorry for your loss Amy, both for Hugo and for the boys not working out. You will know when you are ready again for another bunny or two in your home. Sometimes things happen for a reason, I’m sure the boys will find a great home and you will find a bunny that works with your family better or you will be in a better place to take care of those two later. Still, I can imagine it is a difficult decision and I am sending strength vibes your way to do what is right for you and every body and bunny involved! (((((Hugs))))))


                                              • lashkay
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                                                  That’s understandable if the burden of coping with the litter accidents/sliding/ and especially not yet warming up to you is overwhelming on top of the absence of Hugo. You’ve had a lot of reassurance and reminders that it takes time for the bunnies to acclimate and I’m sure no one is aware of this more than you. It’s times like these a good cry is much needed and will help you to heal – as well as your daughter. Whatever you decide, I’m sure it will be the right decision for you. I have smooth flat sheets of linoleum tiling in both my bunnies’ pens and it works great. Plus You can always get them some coconut fibers mats from bunny bytes or the busy bunny for great non-chewed but completely edible traction that cleans the feet of the bunnies at the same time. Best wishes for healing your grief Hugo I’m sure is looking down on you from his heavenly pasture paradise and supports you from his place in everything you do…you’re a great bunny mommy!


                                                • jerseygirl
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                                                    Hi Amy, the bunny boys may have acclimatised but it really does sound as if you and the family weren’t ready after all. Totally understandable. For Hickory and Acorn it may not be too unsettling if they go back to their foster. They’ve only spent a day in your home and it’s good you’ve come to the realisation now instead of weeks down the track. Don’t feel badly.

                                                    I hope you do consider them in the future when you are ready. The flooring may be an issue for any new rabbit but it can be problem solved. Sometimes it’s just a contrast thing for rabbits, going from dark onto light flooring. Or patterns can even throw them. There are lots of little things that come up when settling in a new bun (as you know and had happen with Hugo) but they can be sorted. Plenty of brainstorming from us bunny people will get it sorted.

                                                    Wishing you and the family peace and healing Amy.


                                                  • AbbyGirl
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                                                      Thank you.


                                                    • MayaConsuelo
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                                                        Oh no! Somehow I missed this thread until now, I had no idea your bunny died, I’m so sorry. That’s heartbreaking, and to deal with moving at the same time, I can’t imagine.
                                                        I have a friend who recently returned her two adopted bunnies to the shelter She was sad after her bunny died, and took in a bonded pair, and they destroyed her apartment. She and her husband did everything they could but eventually took them back. As long as it’s a no-kill shelter/foster, you really don’t have to feel too guilty, sometimes things just don’t work out. Maybe you were meant to always care for a single bun. Just wait and you’ll be ready again, you’ll know when. Keep us updated and good luck settling into your new home.


                                                      • AbbyGirl
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                                                          Thank you for all the kind words this morning. They are going back to the home they have lived in for the last year. I truly am not ready to care for another rabbit right now.


                                                        • ScooterandAnnette
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                                                            I think sometimes, in the first little while of grief, your mind just hasn’t had a chance to process the full extent of it yet and you think to yourself wow, I’m handling this a lot better than I thought I would. And because you feel that sense of loss and emptiness, and because you have so much love to share, you think you know I think we’d be okay with taking in another bunny/cat/dog/elephant right now. And it’s only after a few days when your mind has had a chance to really get a grip on what’s happened that it’s like floodgates of emotion open and you really feel the full brunt of the grief and loss and you think to yourself OMG what have I done.

                                                            I think we’ve all been there to some extent. Don’t look upon your experience with the boys as a failure or something you shouldn’t have done, look upon it as a learning experience for everyone involved. You’ve learned something about yourself, you’ve learned something about the boys that can be added to the information the home/shelter has about them, because you’ve verified that their behaviour at least at this point is not home-specific and they’re likely going to be like that no matter where they are.

                                                            I know it can be diffiult, but please don’t feel guilty or upset about the boys not working out. They came there and helped show you that you needed more time to heal, and now they’re ready to go back home.
                                                            – Annette


                                                          • AbbyGirl
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                                                              Thank you Annette. You said it all so perfectly. That is exactly what has happened.


                                                            • Beka27
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                                                                We see this often unfortunately. Someone has the “perfect rabbit” for them, and when they pass, it’s that much harder because you want to find another “perfect rabbit” and sometimes the new rabbit is not what you expect. The key is waiting and meeting many different buns. And realizing that Hugo will never be replaced.

                                                                Some buns are not as friendly, open to new experiences, responsive to children, etc… So I think when the time is right, you may try to look again, but there is no rush. Flemish giants can usually work very well as free range buns and their size makes them a bit more docile and receptive to children, so you might look for another of that breed eventually. Bonded pairs are fantastic, but they are very in tune with each other and you might find that your relationship with the pair is not what you’re looking for.

                                                                All rabbits deserve a forever home, regardless of breed, temperament, etc… But I also recognize that the rabbit has to be teh right fit for the family. If you’re not sure, you did the right thing by returning them and waiting.


                                                              • AbbyGirl
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                                                                  It has nothing to do with these rabbits or their behaviors. I like them a lot. I just broke down yesterday for the first time since I lost Hugo. I’m just not ready. I haven’t even been able to get myself to try and pet them since yesterday afternoon and that is not fair for them. They deserve so much more than I am able to give right now. I might even consider these boys again if they are still there when I am ready. They do seem to be a little nervous with all the noise my girls make though. Even the tv has startled them. I plan on meeting with more than one rabbit next time around and waiting to make sure. When I met Hugo I instantly fell in love and couldn’t stand being apart form him for the week I had to wait. I didn’t have that kind of connection with these boys. I made a my decision too quickly. At least I have learn a valuable lesson because of this and will be more careful in the future when I am ready. Thank you again for all your kind words, comments and helping work through this.


                                                                • AbbyGirl
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                                                                    Well, I took the boys back this afternoon. Now I’m going to focus on unpacking and finishing my house. I still have to lay carpet on my stairs. I’m also going to start making a nice collage of Hugo. I was thinking at least 11×13. Maybe by the time all that is done and I have had time to settle down in our new home we’ll start think about adding a new family member.


                                                                  • Sarita
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                                                                      That sounds like a great plan Amy. I think focusing on your new home is a great idea for you and your family. Get it just right and comfortable and then focus on getting a new family member.


                                                                    • Lintini
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                                                                        *hugs*


                                                                      • AbbyGirl
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                                                                          Thanks.


                                                                        • RabbitPam
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                                                                            Amy, I’m so sorry you’re going through all of this, and it’s worse because you’re being way too hard on yourself.
                                                                            You are grieving. It’s an awful feeling and it takes time to stop. You miss your Hugo and that is something that will be with you for a long time. It’s a separate set of feelings from everything else, but you still are coping with many other events as well.

                                                                            You know how the boys seem reluctant to interact or be out with the family in the new house, so you brought them back to familiar territory? Well, guess what – you’re in just the same situation that they are, and it’s all strange to you too. You just moved. That’s a big ajustment and a huge source of stress. To move right after an ordeal and finally grief from losing Hugo is enough to shake your bearings completely. Your daughter and husband have also lost their routines from home and sameness, and Hugo not being with you makes it an almost painfully clean break from your former home with him. The boys were uncomfortable with all the strangeness, and you are too, and that’s naturally for all of you.

                                                                            You have a very generous heart that just needs some time to mend. If you hadn’t decided to bring back the boys I was going to suggest you not worry about them quite so much anyway. A bonded pair is much better off because they have each other, so even if you had ignored them for a week it wouldn’t have adversely effected your eventual relationship with them. But now they are in their safe place from before, they are together, and you can focus on getting your own space in order without worrying about their space too. Whether you wait for a couple of days or a couple of months, your grief for Hugo, and your opening your home and heart to new bunnies are going to always be separate. I think there’s a stong likelihood that you will welcome either the boys or someone else into your home again, and soon, but it will be after you are settled yourself. You have plenty of time, and so does your family. I have a feeling you will be less overwhelmed sooner than you think. We’ll just wait and see what you want to do then.
                                                                            {{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}


                                                                          • AbbyGirl
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                                                                              Thank you so much. I didn’t realize what I needed. I needed time to heal instead of jumping into things. I was so busy that I didn’t know how bad I was hurting. I do have A LOT going on. I homeschool my 5 & 6 year old daughters, my husband works 70 hours a week, we have done all the work on the house ourselves and I still have to unpack my room and put carpet down on my stairs.

                                                                              I was also told from the shelter today that they wouldn’t be good free range house buns. I was surprised to find that out because she knew that’s what I was looking for. When I am ready again I think I might try adopting from the WI HRS.

                                                                              I know I was being hard on myself. I felt guilty for taking them back. I know it was best for us right now and that they will be well taken care of. I have a huge weight lifted off my shoulders tonight.

                                                                              Thanks for listening. You all have been a wonderful support system. =)


                                                                            • RabbitPam
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                                                                                Checked on your post this morning to see if you’re feeling any better, and glad to hear that you are.
                                                                                That’s too bad about her not telling you they aren’t good for free range. Maybe she didn’t put it together with their personalities, but now she knows.

                                                                                Please be sure to stay with us whether you have a bunny in the house or not for a while. I went for about 10 months between my first and second bunny, just because I didn’t have the right apartment yet to get a new one, and that’s when I discovered BB. I posted my never-ending 2 cents of advice until I got a bunny. By then I had many people here celebrating with me. So stick around for that daily bunny fix. I found it made me miss bunnies less when I could get to know others’.


                                                                              • AbbyGirl
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                                                                                  Thank you. I definitely will stick around.


                                                                                • Deleted User
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                                                                                    There will be another rabbit ready for you at the shelter when you are!


                                                                                  • Michelle&Lolli
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                                                                                      Amy – When I lost Eddie, I immediately started thinking of new rabbits. Partly cause I couldn’t stand the thought of not having a snuggly bunny and also because of Lolli. I was afraid she was going to be lonely and bored without a friend. All of my family, my friends, and my counselor all told me I’d better wait. I couldn’t figure out why cause I thought I was coping well and it made me mad being told no. Two weeks after Eddie had passed, I burst into tears and couldn’t stop crying. It was my grieving time for Eddie.

                                                                                      Now it’s almost been 2 months and I’m still thinking about getting another rabbit. I still don’t believe it’s the right time due to my spinal problems and not deciding yet whether to have surgery or not. And I am a bit afraid of getting another one. I really want to make sure it’s the right bunny for us.

                                                                                      I know if I had gone out and gotten another rabbit shortly after Eddie had passed, I would’ve had a similar thing happen. It’s safe to assume that I would’ve probably resented the new bun for not being Eddie at the very least. And I would’ve mourned all the more.

                                                                                      I believe the people had said the bonded pair had been brought back a few times? ??? Well….you probably have your reasons why in your experience. They admitted they aren’t a free range pair and because of that, are probably 10x more work than other bunnies. (If that’s possible lol) And they are apparently very skittish. In my opinion, it would take an experienced rabbit owner with time and room to adopt these two. It’s nothing to do with humans or them because it’s just the reality of how they are. So please don’t feel bad and HUGS!


                                                                                    • AbbyGirl
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                                                                                        Thank you. You have been a wonderful help. I have had time to process what has happened. I think between the excited of getting new buns and finding out that they weren’t what she told me they were that I panicked and hit over-load. Knowing after she told me they wouldn’t make good house buns when she knew that was what I needed I was overwhelmed and felt guilty. I have been able to work through that now with all your help. Today again I find myself longing for another bun to be running around the house. I have some carpet and vinyl to finish and a bathroom to paint. I also have lights to change and thresholds to put down. It should take me a week or two. The WHRS has an agouti Flemish that sounds wonderful. No, I’m not running off to meet her now but I know if we’re suppose to have her that she will still be there when we are ready. Thanks for all the help and the wonderful listening ears.


                                                                                      • Beka27
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                                                                                          I think in your situation, ONE bunny will be the way to go. It sounds like you and your family thrived on the interaction from Hugo, and this is often times more difficult with a pair (especially when adopted together). Just do what you were doing, be very clear with everyone what you are wanting and hopefully they can match you up.


                                                                                        • AbbyGirl
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                                                                                            Thank you Beka. Yes we did enjoy all the attention Hugo wanted from us, especially me. I realized just the other day that in the last 2 weeks we had him that he had really bonded with me. My first rabbit I had for 8 years was never very close to me. He wasn’t a very nice bunny but I loved him to pieces anyway!
                                                                                            I found out about Abigail last night because I email the WHRS and told them my situation and exactly what I am looking for. She wasn’t even on their website but he said she sounds like a good match for us. So right now I work on the house. Get it all unpacked, homey and finished.


                                                                                          • allegrabunny
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                                                                                              The folks at WHRS are seriously good bunny places, did you speak with George?


                                                                                            • AbbyGirl
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                                                                                                Yes I did! He was incredibly helpful. Are you from that area?


                                                                                              • MirBear
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                                                                                                  Amy, it may sound weird but i am so proud of you!!! When i got my first bunny (my little sister had hershey at the time, but i wasn’t allowed near her) she turned out to be the devil. She would lunge bite and growl, she didnt even want you to put your hand in the cage to feed her, after awhile she warmed up to me and permitted me to at least scratch her nose and give her food and water. When i had to re-home her because she bit my mom, i automatically started looking for another bunny, again, rushing into it and not taking time to look at personaltiy. I found twix and got her because she was supposed to be a boy and looked like hershey. Again, she wasnt the nicest bunny, but now that ive had her for almost a year, she’s starting to show her real personality, she doesnt like to be touched, but loves my company and is eager to please, i taught her tricks i could never of taught hershey or my first bunny. now looking back, i really regret not taking the time out to get to know the other bunny. maybe in the end she would of turned out to know how to do a backflip or something. but either way, even after i found out that twix wasnt what i had planned and that i had rushed into another mistake, i wwould never of even thought to take her back. and i really admire your for that.

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