Leave no man behind…

[Karla]

 ..a bit of a morbid question for you guys:

Jack died in April and we buried him in the common garden which we share with all the other people living in this building. So we are moving out now, and I just cannot bear the thought to leave him behind.

 My boyfriend wants us to either leave him or bury him in the woods – I know I am being silly about all this, but the whole thought of Jack alone in the woods, just makes me sad.

We are moving to another place where this is a small green shared spot where in theory we could bury him again and then dig him up AGAIN once we have to move again in January and then again… I have asked if we could just burn his coffin, but my boyfriend says it is impossible.

So what would you do? Am I being silly about a dead body?

[Monkeybun]

Why does your boyfriend say its impossible? Is there some way you could leave jack where he lies, and come get him when you are settled into a permanent place?

[Karla]

We could keep a key and then sneak back one early morning and get him and hope nobody sees us.

My boyfriend says that the temperature needed to burn his bones and all are impossible to get from an ordinary fire.

As an atheist, this discussion should not even be relevant for me?! Maybe I’m becoming soft on my old days Right now, I am trying to tell myself that we have the seeds from the sunflower that grew from his grave, and that this is all I need from his grave.

What do you guys do with the dead bodies???

[Monkeybun]

I know I will be cremating my furbabies, and keeping their ashes until I have a home that will be permanent. Then I will bury them in a special bunny garden.

And even athiests can feel the need to have a loved one near them, even if its just a grave to visit. Or a garden planted in his name with the seeds from the sunflower.

[Deleted User]

Pet burial sites in wooded areas are subject to being dug up by wildlife. If this bothers you I would leave him where he is, and recover him when you are settled permanently.

[Sarita]

Well, all mine have been cremated and I have so many, it’s sad to look at them – I will eventually bury them at a pet cemetery. I would not dig up a rabbit I had buried though and place them elsewhere – that would not be right. Frankly I think that is his resting place – remember that is just his body now and nothing more. You have plenty of photos to remember him by.

[Sonn]

We have a little piece of land that is the “Pet Cemetery” I could not bear to leave any of my pets behind. So we own a tiny piece of land that no matter where I live I can always come back and know exactly where they are. It goes way back to my very first pet who was a rat named Billy.

I am not sure I could dig up any of my pets though it would probably make things harder for me. But I agree on waiting until you are settled permanently and getting him instead of digging him up every time you have to move.

[ScooterandAnnette]

My only thought, if you do want to dig him up, is maybe seeing if you can find a place that would cremate the remains at this point. That way it doesn’t matter where you go, you can take his cremains with you.
– Annette

[LittlePuffyTail]

I can understand how you feel. When my guinea pigs died we buried them in a wooded spot behind my childhood home, I even made tombstones for them. About a year later they started developing that land and I couldn’t bear the thought of them being dug up and discarded. My Dad dug up their coffins and reburied them underneath our patio. When my parents sold the house, I left them there as I doubt anyone will ever discover them, but I took their tombstones with me and I have them here at my new house. I believe that even animals go somewhere when they die, so the body is just an empty shell but it comforts me to have something of them near. I’ve cremated my two bridge bunnies and I keep them on a shelf in the rabbit room with their fave toys and pictures. Same with my cat that passed.

[bunnytowne]

Karla I am with you on this one. 

If you want to dig him up and take him with you DO IT.    REgardless of what anyone says.   

I would also look into cremating the remains it may be do able.   If it were me I would dig him up and do that.

In my religion we are supposed to return them to the earth and not cremate. 

However I WANT to cremate and take them with me.  So that is what I am going to do.  Just not tell hubby.   I have a special necklace I will put them in.  

If I decided to bury  like you when I move I would dig them up and take them.  Though cremation sounds a lot better for me to do in my (oh what is the word I am looking for)    doh   my decision and my life I want to cremate them.   Hope that makes sense.

Ah I prefer cremation for my personal choice   thats what I am trying to say.  I would go against my religion and do it 

Glad you don’t have to consider religious options.  Makes it easier.  I am going to leave religion out of my decision.

So do what YOU want to do .  Don’t let boyfriend stop you.   I would dig him up and make the move WITH him.  and not have to go back to get him later.

[MimzMum]

This is a tough call. I can only add that I too have a gravesite in my backyard that is all well and good unless I ever have to move. Therefore, at present, moving is out of the question. I know that what made my four legged children who they are is not there in the ground with them, but in Paradise. Still we attach this hallowed approach to the remains and do not necessarily feel good about disturbing them. I have more than a few good ‘men’ (and ladies) settled in our easement and would hate to have to think of taking them from their rest. Not that I believe I could anyway now with the amount of time that has passed.

Regardless of belief system, we have this human nature that wants to hold onto that which is dear and beloved by us, even after death (most times, especially so) and the idea that someone else other than ourselves would tamper with what should be a final resting place is unconscionable. Burial in itself is something we do for our own closure, not for those who have passed. I am not sure yet if I think cremation is a good idea when it comes to people, but for animals I suppose it is an option worth looking at. As long as you have someplace there that would take the coffin and cremate it for you.

Whatever you decide, I hope it works out well for you.

[MayaConsuelo]

I’ll put my two cents in here. I’m not an atheist but am not part of any organized religion, maybe closer to spiritual/Buddhist. A lot of cultures believe that moving the remains of the person or animal disturbs their spirit, that comes up most obviously in Native American beliefs. I know a lot of people cremate and keep the ashes, and this is also not a common practice in some belief systems. It’s technically bad Feng Shui to have anything dead in your house, this includes stuffed and preserved animals (like deer heads on the wall – yuck!), dried flowers, and ashes of dead people or animals. You want to have good energy full of life flowing in your house, and a corner full of dead animals will interrupt that energy. Sorry if I’m sounding a little crazy to some people. I also understand the need to hold on to those you have lost. I thought Misha (my cat) was going to die and was already trying to think of places to scatter her ashes, I think that’s the best choice for me personally. I don’t like the idea at all though, and where would I scatter her? She spent her whole life in my apartment, and too many places in this area are polluted and gross, should I dump her in my dirty strip of front yard covered with dog poo? For now she seems OK but it’ll eventually happen, and I’ll scatter her ashes no matter how hard it is for me. And then obviously set up her picture in a little shrine which will serve as the memory. God this is morbid, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot lately, I’m so sorry to everyone here who has recently lost a pet. That’s the worst.

I don’t judge anyone when it comes to final resting places, you have to decide what’s best for you. The only thing that really creeps me out is when people get their pets stuffed and preserved… one of my friends says she’s going to do that to her pit bull when she dies. Really, a stuffed 100 lb dog in your house, reminding you constantly of how she’s dead now? OK there I’m judging a little, that just seems horrible.

[Karla]

Thanks for all the interesting inputs.

I think, we are leaving him…and then I will make a little private bunny garden in our permanent home in his memory with the seeds from the sunflower (I didn’t even plant it…it just grew from his grave, so it has a big value to me). It is his resting place, and just his body, so I should let it be.

I will plant some tulips on his grave that will grow there for years even when we are not there to keep the area pretty.

Hopefully, I won’t regret this decision.

[MayaConsuelo]

I think that makes sense, especially since that’s the place where he lived. I assume you know other people in the building and could come back to the garden to visit him, and/or get him if you changed your mind. That’s so lovely that a sunflower grew out of his spot, planting seeds from the sunflower in your new garden is a really nice idea!

[Author]

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