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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > RAINBOW BRIDGE > A Place for Support, Comfort & Remembrance
Last Post by Pinky at 6/13/2015 11:45 AM (48 Replies)
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User is Offline My1&onlyMarshmellow
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4/30/2015 7:15 AM

I feel urges to sobb every day now since monday. I DONT want this to be the new norm. But I also I have to cry it out and don't want this to be the new norm either too. I feel like I'm a ll cried out though, my throat has been sore and the back of* my neck is sore. Yet I just sobbed and 8 crumpled tissues later I could maybe again. Im so sorry for all of our losses. Why do animals the sweetest of us all have to go sooner? I have never cried and loved over anyone in all the funerals as i have for this one. I try to not forget how it felt like when he was around cause i feel it fading away and i don't want it to dammit. I don't want to lose the feeling of his presence. he was alone in his last moments is what kills me the most. I left him, i should not have left him. I cry saying this over and over and my husband tries to help saying I didn't know, that he was going to die. I m saying that i should have been there by his side like i was before. I spent nights with 2 hours of sleep before. WHy couldn't i skip 2 dumb classes. My husband tells me to not go down this path of regret and i should not go there and that we (vet included) did the best we could. HA in hindsight i saw he was suffocating. Vet noticed he was having labored breathing and i should have made him check and demanded to find out whats happing with his lungs. Well when the biopsy was done the cancer spread to his lungs. he was dying and it flew right over all of our heads. (ssmh)Dying in front of me and dead after i left. I um wondering how he suffered. Vet said little to none with the pain killer shot (for what we thought was G.I. Stasis) which i have to ask if he saw the g.i. stasis in his tummy when he was doing the autotopsy. I know rabbits get cancer cause they are old and not meant to live so long….maybe he was older than i though and he was 10-12? when i think he was only 9? idc though. At the vet he ugh always is ready to get out his carrier and fight (he was strong my lil ❤ trooper) he just layer half way in and out and wished i took a video or picture. his paws hanging off the edge and his d. brown flat face and brown ears -so adorable.  He didn't have energy to get out of his carrier meant he was ready to be put down. I didn't think he was ready but i see how he was..im so sorry my little angel my sweet sweet rabbit butt is gone. I miss holding rabbit butt, kissing his rabbit butt. I can't talk like that anywhere except here and to my hubby. Everyone else would look at me crazy. He look like a little bear cub. Pain can't hurt you now budee, pain cannot hurt you now. But oh would i love to just kiss your cheeks and nuzzle you and kiss your face. tears



User is Offline LongEaredLions
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5/01/2015 4:13 PM
Gosh guys, I cannot read one post here without there being tears.
My1&onlyMarshmallow, I am so very sorry. The guilt, the grief, it is all very normal, but I do hope you will focus on the long happy life together. None of this is your fault, you did everything you could but sometimes it is all you can do to have loved them for as long as you did. Sending all my love to you, I unfortunately know how you are feeling right now.
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User is Offline My1&onlyMarshmellow
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5/03/2015 12:01 PM

I re read my last post too and tears have formed. I have since calmed down more. My husband has been by my side and just loving on me and holding me more. I don't have the urge to cry as much. which makes me mad because i should be.

Just very depressed about it. so quiet with out him digging and drinking his water and knocking his food bowl over even though its a  heavy porcelain bowl that weighs like 50 pounds. 

Im so sad. I have a lot of good moments though because of my hubby. He cheers me up and took us out to eat and long walks and ice-cream. He understands a lot. 

Have candles lit as much as possible. His pen has been empty since Monday. I am not ready to remove it although i'd love to have the room cleaned up and the table moved in there for it to be my study room. I can't clean it with it there but i don't want it to leave so i put myself in this tough spot of cleaning/not cleaning it out. I feel like his spirit is around. he was in there just over week ago-oh sigh not now though. arg i just get very sad now. 

Its finals week, I'm leaving for a hiking trip through our college for 2 weeks so theres no time to fully heal. somehow learning about the navajos in Arizona and hiking will restore peace within me. In the mean time i have a stuffed animal(white polar bear) thats soft and furry and the closest feel i have to marshmallow to carry and squeeze.

thank you for all the kind words. They are very kind words. Yesterday I laughed a lot being at work some coworkers understand the loss of a close pet. i was able to get a hug.

My husband is funny and cheered me up a lot. But no matter how much i have been laughing in my head and in my heart i feel a painful void. 


User is Offline Pinky
318 posts Send Private Message
5/16/2015 11:02 PM

For all those bunnies who have died and other animals and those who left us too soon.



Heavenly Father, Creator of all things, thank you for having entrusted us with a loyal pet. Thank you for letting him teach us unselfish love. Thank you for the memories that we can recall to brighten our days for the rest of our lives. Finally, in gratitude, we return our pet to you. Amen.



User is Offline LongEaredLions
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5/21/2015 9:59 PM
Lovely, Pinky. :,)
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User is Offline Pinky
318 posts Send Private Message
5/27/2015 2:04 PM
Why do I cry when I hear a bunny has died on here?

User is Offline LongEaredLions
I <3 REWs!
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5/30/2015 9:59 PM
I think a lot of people experience that, Pinky. Even with bunnies we hadn't known for long or at all, the thought of a precious creature's death can bring us to tears, especially when we know the joy our own bunnies bring to us. :'(
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User is Offline My1&onlyMarshmellow
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6/02/2015 7:32 AM

Thank you for your prayers Pinky Thank you. Hungs to you and LongEaredLions. I went away to volunteer on a navajo reservation and it helped and I thought I was getting better. But today is hard. All it takes is to look at some of the photos I have i could lose it any moment. Some of you unfortunately know the feeling. When I returned, though, his remains (from the crematory) were sitting there waiting for me in a beautiful cherry wood finish box w/ his name plate on top as soon as I held it (a couple of weeks ago) I lost it like the day he left. Hubby and I had together thrown his semi-new still pen away and donated the gates to it. We still have his original 2 level cage he had most his life where he had an option to hop in and out and upstairs to eat n drink and hop down to stretch out and feel safe versus being locked up all day (inhumane).  Had that cage for his whole life till may this year when he couldn't hop up to the second level to eat. he then couldn't even hop into anymore so we got a guinea pig area pen from amazon (2 of them-and infuse the tarps) together for a wider area for him to have for his own. Still, still, still.so.surreal. I miss him. A lot. I def. feel greedy/guilty for wanting him more than even all the years I did get to have and I still didn't feel it was enough time. R.i.p buddee and fellow amimals sweet amimamamals. I def. feel that void. And I def. now relate to how a pet can be like a child of ones own when I used to smirk at the thought-it hurts now. It was def. a blessing to have lived through that journey and would not give it back ever. Who knows where our pets could have landed and who knows their second option would have been-abuse neglect, God only knows but we loved them with unconditional love and nurtured them till there hearts content and they gave us there unconditional love and forgave us on spot when we made a mistake and taught us to do the same for others. Taught me to sometimes not be so picky and pristine about grooming but just take time to enjoy their presence. I hovered over him a lot and picked at his matted fur around his weepy eye so much that he just wanted me to pet him-as if he knew his eyes were a never ending job and moved his cute lil head away when enough was enough. But love, he knew love and sweet pettings were more awesome and powerful. So he patiently waited and gave his head for warm touches and pettings from my hand. And when I did he was happy. Phew I feel a little better now, talking about it.

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User is Offline Pinky
318 posts Send Private Message
6/13/2015 11:45 AM

This is St. Francis, Francis saw animals as his brothers and sisters because they were God’s creatures, just like people. He said of animals. “Not to hurt our humble brethren is our first duty to them, but to stop there is not enough. We have a higher mission to be of service to them wherever they require it.” So Francis prayed that God would work through him to help animals as well as people.

I am not very religious, but I think when we lose a pet God sends them to St. Francis and imagine some nice woodland and Francis standing there waiting to open a gate into a beautiful woodland garden to join others, this may bring some comfort to people who have lost a pet, someone to care for them forever.

Maybe this is at the end of The Rainbow Bridge that they see.

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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > RAINBOW BRIDGE > A Place for Support, Comfort & Remembrance

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