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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > RAINBOW BRIDGE > A Place for Support, Comfort & Remembrance
Last Post by LongEaredLions at 5/21/2015 9:59 PM (44 Replies)
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User is Offline My1&onlyMarshmellow
11 posts Send Private Message
4/30/2015 7:15 AM

I feel urges to sobb every day now since monday. I DONT want this to be the new norm. But I also I have to cry it out and don't want this to be the new norm either too. I feel like I'm a ll cried out though, my throat has been sore and the back of* my neck is sore. Yet I just sobbed and 8 crumpled tissues later I could maybe again. Im so sorry for all of our losses. Why do animals the sweetest of us all have to go sooner? I have never cried and loved over anyone in all the funerals as i have for this one. I try to not forget how it felt like when he was around cause i feel it fading away and i don't want it to dammit. I don't want to lose the feeling of his presence. he was alone in his last moments is what kills me the most. I left him, i should not have left him. I cry saying this over and over and my husband tries to help saying I didn't know, that he was going to die. I m saying that i should have been there by his side like i was before. I spent nights with 2 hours of sleep before. WHy couldn't i skip 2 dumb classes. My husband tells me to not go down this path of regret and i should not go there and that we (vet included) did the best we could. HA in hindsight i saw he was suffocating. Vet noticed he was having labored breathing and i should have made him check and demanded to find out whats happing with his lungs. Well when the biopsy was done the cancer spread to his lungs. he was dying and it flew right over all of our heads. (ssmh)Dying in front of me and dead after i left. I um wondering how he suffered. Vet said little to none with the pain killer shot (for what we thought was G.I. Stasis) which i have to ask if he saw the g.i. stasis in his tummy when he was doing the autotopsy. I know rabbits get cancer cause they are old and not meant to live so long….maybe he was older than i though and he was 10-12? when i think he was only 9? idc though. At the vet he ugh always is ready to get out his carrier and fight (he was strong my lil ❤ trooper) he just layer half way in and out and wished i took a video or picture. his paws hanging off the edge and his d. brown flat face and brown ears -so adorable.  He didn't have energy to get out of his carrier meant he was ready to be put down. I didn't think he was ready but i see how he was..im so sorry my little angel my sweet sweet rabbit butt is gone. I miss holding rabbit butt, kissing his rabbit butt. I can't talk like that anywhere except here and to my hubby. Everyone else would look at me crazy. He look like a little bear cub. Pain can't hurt you now budee, pain cannot hurt you now. But oh would i love to just kiss your cheeks and nuzzle you and kiss your face. tears



User is Offline LongEaredLions
Clueless...
Forum Leader
3777 posts Send Private Message
5/01/2015 4:13 PM
Gosh guys, I cannot read one post here without there being tears.
My1&onlyMarshmallow, I am so very sorry. The guilt, the grief, it is all very normal, but I do hope you will focus on the long happy life together. None of this is your fault, you did everything you could but sometimes it is all you can do to have loved them for as long as you did. Sending all my love to you, I unfortunately know how you are feeling right now.
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User is Offline My1&onlyMarshmellow
11 posts Send Private Message
5/03/2015 12:01 PM

I re read my last post too and tears have formed. I have since calmed down more. My husband has been by my side and just loving on me and holding me more. I don't have the urge to cry as much. which makes me mad because i should be.

Just very depressed about it. so quiet with out him digging and drinking his water and knocking his food bowl over even though its a  heavy porcelain bowl that weighs like 50 pounds. 

Im so sad. I have a lot of good moments though because of my hubby. He cheers me up and took us out to eat and long walks and ice-cream. He understands a lot. 

Have candles lit as much as possible. His pen has been empty since Monday. I am not ready to remove it although i'd love to have the room cleaned up and the table moved in there for it to be my study room. I can't clean it with it there but i don't want it to leave so i put myself in this tough spot of cleaning/not cleaning it out. I feel like his spirit is around. he was in there just over week ago-oh sigh not now though. arg i just get very sad now. 

Its finals week, I'm leaving for a hiking trip through our college for 2 weeks so theres no time to fully heal. somehow learning about the navajos in Arizona and hiking will restore peace within me. In the mean time i have a stuffed animal(white polar bear) thats soft and furry and the closest feel i have to marshmallow to carry and squeeze.

thank you for all the kind words. They are very kind words. Yesterday I laughed a lot being at work some coworkers understand the loss of a close pet. i was able to get a hug.

My husband is funny and cheered me up a lot. But no matter how much i have been laughing in my head and in my heart i feel a painful void. 


User is Offline Pinky
76 posts Send Private Message
5/16/2015 11:02 PM

For all those bunnies who have died and other animals and those who left us too soon.



Heavenly Father, Creator of all things, thank you for having entrusted us with a loyal pet. Thank you for letting him teach us unselfish love. Thank you for the memories that we can recall to brighten our days for the rest of our lives. Finally, in gratitude, we return our pet to you. Amen.



User is Offline LongEaredLions
Clueless...
Forum Leader
3777 posts Send Private Message
5/21/2015 9:59 PM
Lovely, Pinky. :,)
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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > RAINBOW BRIDGE > A Place for Support, Comfort & Remembrance

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