I re read my last post too and tears have formed. I have since calmed down more. My husband has been by my side and just loving on me and holding me more. I don't have the urge to cry as much. which makes me mad because i should be.
Just very depressed about it. so quiet with out him digging and drinking his water and knocking his food bowl over even though its a heavy porcelain bowl that weighs like 50 pounds.
Im so sad. I have a lot of good moments though because of my hubby. He cheers me up and took us out to eat and long walks and ice-cream. He understands a lot.
Have candles lit as much as possible. His pen has been empty since Monday. I am not ready to remove it although i'd love to have the room cleaned up and the table moved in there for it to be my study room. I can't clean it with it there but i don't want it to leave so i put myself in this tough spot of cleaning/not cleaning it out. I feel like his spirit is around. he was in there just over week ago-oh sigh not now though. arg i just get very sad now.
Its finals week, I'm leaving for a hiking trip through our college for 2 weeks so theres no time to fully heal. somehow learning about the navajos in Arizona and hiking will restore peace within me. In the mean time i have a stuffed animal(white polar bear) thats soft and furry and the closest feel i have to marshmallow to carry and squeeze.
thank you for all the kind words. They are very kind words. Yesterday I laughed a lot being at work some coworkers understand the loss of a close pet. i was able to get a hug.
My husband is funny and cheered me up a lot. But no matter how much i have been laughing in my head and in my heart i feel a painful void.