Custody after break up

[Binker]

My girlfriend and I are breaking up. Our rabbit is 1 yr old. My girlfriend works a regular 9-5 and overtime while I work at home. Since I have spent more time with him, he is much more attached to me. She has even claimed almost every day that he “hates her” but she loves him a lot. He won’t sit very long for her to pet him, but with me he follows me around. It was my idea to get him in the first place, although she was the one to pick him from the rabbits at the store.

Without going into details, it is my fault for the split, but the rabbit is attached to me much more than her. She is claiming that since it is my fault, she deserved the rabbit, but I am worried that it will be traumatic for him to leave me and move into a new home. Beyond anything, I want him to be okay. I love him for sure, but more importantly I think it is a bad idea to separate him from me since he is more bonded to me. What should we do?

[Autumn's Dad]

That’s a pretty difficult one. I think that at the end of the day the decision, the only one that will stand is sit down and think together when you can and find an agreement for all three of you. It would be traumatic to uproot a rabbit from their attachments so this is obviously to be avoided if possible. (but most of us took our rabbits from their parents and siblings so it cant always be avoided) She is obviously attached to him too so it would be cruel to simply snatch him away from her, vice versa.

Definitely talk to her if you can, as calm as possible and consider each other. Ultimately it’s up to both of you to decide what is best for him. Good luck

[sarahthegemini]

Whoever is at fault for the split has no relevance when thinking about who should keep the rabbit. It comes down to what is best for the bun which evidently is to remain with you. Your ex partner needs to understand that just because she loves the rabbit, he shouldn’t stay with her when he clearly isn’t bonded to her.

[Mikey]

Hes very bonded to you. A rabbit can die from depression from losing someone theyre bonded to. Plus, you work better hours for having a bunny. Whats best for the bun is what should come first.

[LBJ10]

Who actually purchased the rabbit?

[Q8bunny]

As a former lawyer I can tell you what a family law judge would consider: the welfare of the child. It is paramount. You are the parent the bun is most attached to and the parent who is the primary caretaker by virtue of your sheer presence at home. It doesn’t matter if you f***ed up and triggered the split. This decision is not about who gets stuff as a consolation prize or to punish the party at fault. It’s about a living creature with feelings and since he’s a dependant his well being should come first.

[Rookie]

I have to agree with Q8. You have the better schedule for the bunny, the bunny would not have to move to a new home, and just by being home more is more bonded to you which means it would be more traumatic for him to lose you than your ex. (as bad and as mean as that sounds). In the buns eye you are the bonded pair and your ex is a guest that happens to be there in the evenings. You know his normal and all his quirks which from a health and emergency stand point is also better as you would be able to spot when something is wrong much quicker than her being at work 9 to 5 which means an impromptu vet visit may be out of question.
She shouldn’t want to just claim and keep him just to punish you. That’s the worst thing any parent can do to a child that already has to endure and go through a divorce. Bun comes first!

[Dface]

Although I do agree with the others, I think Autumns Dad has a fair point, in that ripping the pet away from her is equally cruel.

There are a lot of bun parents on here that work, or go to school for hours like your ex girlfriend who have buns who thrive and live happy, full lives.

Animals adapt very well to changes in their circumstances, given time. Our grief tends to take longer to heal than theirs-rescue and shelter bunnies tend to adapt to their new homes fairly quickly-I’ve known people who have had to give up well cared for rabbits that have gone on to be successfully re homed happily.
(I say this only in case custody doesnt go your way, so that you can know that rabbits can adapt to different circumstances.)

In general I think the law still says that whoever bought the rabbit, owns it (I think pets are considered property)

[Deleted User]

Q8 has great points!!! The ONLY thing in question should be the bun’s wellbeing, not yours or your girlfriends. It shouldn’t matter who purchased the rabbit….AT ALL… My husband had a very abusive mother who thought she was a wonderful mother just because she had money and bought him so many nice things. Monetary transactions cannot replace emotional connections. There are so many other factors at play here than who picked out bun, who paid for bun, who caused the separation, etc. Those matters should not take precedence in this decision. The bun is more attached to you and you are better equipped to care for bun, since you are home more and have a stronger bond. I understand that people are saying it is equally unfair to rip away the rabbit from her, but she is a human, and it is definitely not equal!! She has the opportunity to get her own rabbit if she chooses, she has the ability to engage in social activities if she is lonely, etc. The rabbit does not have these options, they are simply stuck with whatever decision you make. You also have to consider that if she isn’t really bonded with him and he starts acting up in your absence, will she just get rid of him? If she gets another partner who doesn’t like him is she prepared to stick with the commitment and keep him? I advise taking the rabbit with you, but of course that is my opinion. Personally, I love my rabbits so much and I would trust almost no one to care for them in the capacity that I do.

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