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Forum BONDING Somewhat aloof / non-snuggly bun bonding?

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    • Quartz
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        I’ve not brought anyone else home to work on serious bonding yet, but my (long-ago-neutered) bun has had quite a few dates over the past year.

        What I worry about is that my bun will end up being too aloof or not willing to give affection to another bun.

        It could just be the way he is with humans.  As far as we know, he didn’t have a particularly difficult time living with his original owners, because he didn’t seem traumatized or skittish.  He was just quite aloof and didn’t really care about being petted or being sat next to or much attention from us.  It took about half a year for him to learn to like being petted to do tooth purring frequently.  It took about a year to really start feeling that he craves our attention and actually wants us to pet him regularly.  He’s a free-roaming bun, by the way.

        Still, as close as we’ve become, considering how it started out, he doesn’t really have any desire to ask me for pets directly, nor does he ever seem to care to come and sit with myself or my significant other, or even very closely.  Sure, he’ll sit a few feet away so that we’re in his line of sight, but that’s a distant kind of closeness.  I try to give him lots of attention, unintrusively, but I make sure to let him know he is loved.  He likes human guests and will hop around and nose-bump everyone, allows them to pet him (but doesn’t ask for it).  Basically he’s comfortable and unafraid, but just not in any way snuggly unless *we* come to him and sit with him on the floor, and pet him until he feels like he’s had enough, then he’ll get up and move.  About 40% of the time he’ll push my hand away with his nose, to say “don’t pet me now”.  We’re at the stage where I can lie down next to him, and as long as I keep petting him, he won’t necessarily get up and move away.  But if I do stop, he will get up and move away fairly quickly.  It’s progress, because he didn’t used to like me laying down next to him at all in the past.

        So all of that is perfectly fine with me as his human caretaker.  What I worry about is whether this points to him being potentially aloof with other rabbits.  I keep reading about the need for each bun to groom the other for the bonding to cement, and I worry that it may not happen for my boy.  He ignores his plushy toy too.  Do you think just because he’s this way with humans, he won’t necessarily be like this with rabbits?

        (Oh and he’s well-enough socialized with other rabbits in terms of actually living with an unspayed female when he was younger and even fathering baby buns, until all of them were brought in to the shelter for adoption because it got to be too much for the previous owners. He was placed with one of his sons for a while, until the son became adolescent and too territorial.)


      • DanaNM
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          I don’t think behavior with humans predicts how he’ll be with other buns at all really, and a more outgoing bunny might actually help him feel safer and more at ease.

          I think the fact that he nose-bumps and accepts petting is great, not every bunny is a snuggle monster. It sounds like you’ve made great progress with him! Out of curiousity, have you tried playing ball with him? My Bunston wasn’t super snuggly and was shy, but if I rolled a ball to him (like a “batta-ball” cat toy), he would roll it back to me, over and over again (it was SO CUTE). He would also accept petting, but only when he was feeling calm, and didn’t usually ask for it. Bunston got a lot more outgoing and less timid once he was bonded to Bertha, who is a super outgoing snuggle monster.

          You say you took him on some dates, how did they go? Was he aggressive? “Love at first sight” is super rare, so I think anything other than flat out attacking on a first date is pretty good.

          . . . The answers provided in this discussion are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet. Seek the advice of your veterinarian or a qualified behaviorist.  

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      Forum BONDING Somewhat aloof / non-snuggly bun bonding?