I made a mistake, and now Max is afraid of me

[Little Max]

Warning: Wall of text, skip to end for basic question

Max and I were bonding really well, he’d run up to greet me when I came into the room, allow me to gently pet his forehead and back, and crawl all over me and give me little bunny kisses. 

But then Wednesday night as I was cleaning out his cage, I had him in the xpen. Like an idiot I didn’t latch the ends together (the pen stretches out into a fence if not latched) and just kinda propped them together. Max ended up getting out, and I knew that he did, but my room is bunny proofed and I was almost done so I figured why not, he’ll go back to his cage when I put food in his bowl.

After a few minutes I looked around and didn’t see him. I finally found him, and he had gotten up on my bed and somehow into the space behind it. There’s no way to reach the space from the floor (it’s hard to explain), he had to have jumped down into it from the bed. Looking back, I should have put down a box or something so he could jump back onto the bed on his own.

Instead, I reached down and picked him up. He seemed absolutely terrified, but I held him close and immediately set him down in his cage. He was breathing really heavily and sat completely still for a minute. I was so worried, but he then got up and started eating hay. He still lets me come near him, but anytime my hands come close to him he freaks out.

QUESTION: 

I know I messed up by picking Max up, and I feel terrible. How can I win his trust back? I have been sure to keep him confined to the xpen when he’s out. Now he won’t let my hands anywhere near him. How can I win his trust back? Have I completely undone all of our bonding so far?

[Luna]

Don’t worry, you haven’t undone all of your bonding and you will win Max’s trust back soon. Try hand feeding veggies/pellets so that he remembers that your hands mean good things. Keep doing it so that he realizes that you’re not trying to pick him up.

[Bam]

I agree with Luna, no need to worry. There are always times when we have to pick our buns up f ex for nail clipping, and the bun won’t like it. But they do forgive. Even the cuddliest, most loving rabbit can still hate being picked up and be evasive for a little while after having been picked up. It’s a deep, deep instinct. Hand feed him his pellets, as Luna says. You can hand feed him strands of hay as well and veggies if he’s getting veggies. Food is a short cut to the bunny6 heart =)

[BanditCamp]

Picking up your bunny isn’t the end of the world, sometimes you HAVE to pick them up for trimming or grooming like bam said. Just don’t make it too much of a habit as that can make them distrust you or being near you.

[sarahthegemini]

You haven’t undone all of your bonding, don’t worry He’s just going to be a bit miffed for a little while but he’ll come round especially if you have food and treats 

[SeeShmemilyPlay]

My rabbits panic and hate me for a solid few hours after I trim their nails, but they go back to 100%, I promise!

[Sweetbuns@home]

I agree with the rest of the posts. Just take it slowly with him and soon you’ll regain his trust. I always just start petting them and if they don’t totally freak out, then I proceed in picking them up.

[vanessa]

I agree with all the above posts 🙂

[Boston's Mama]

Yep I agree too , my Oakley is a total sweetheart – very very attached and clingy – constantly looking for attention and jumping on our knees – BUT if we pick him up ( as we sometimes need to for nails / checking him out ect ) he becomes a feral monkey leaping around his cage whenever we clean him or fill his bowls as if he thinks our hands are covered in some sort of flesh eating poison
But by the next morning he’s snapped back to reality and realises That nope – it’s just the hands that feed him

[Little Max]

It’s been about a week, and Max is still afraid of my hands. When I go to pet him, he just sits there, stiff, with his ears back. I feel so terrible and so i don’t pet him because I fear I’m stressing him out. I sit on the floor with him and now he just avoids me. I’m hoping things get back to normal soon.

[Luna]

Don’t worry just keep giving him more time. Is he not eating pellets out of your hand either?

[RoxMad]

HI there,

I am a professional animal trainer and offer consultation services for small pet owners. It is not uncommon for owners of small animals to experiences issues related to fear, as pocket pets are all prey species. Please feel free to email me at smallanimalresources@yahoo.com and I would be happy to go over your case in detail and give you a step-by-step, measured approach for building a relationship with your rabbit and helping you recover from your incident. My own rabbit was very difficult to bond with-he was a rescue from a classroom situation and nearly all of his experiences with people were unpleasant, particularly handling. He was also very sickly, and when I picked him up to give him medication or treatment, he would literally refuse to eat for the rest of the day. Relationships take time, and when you make a mistake that upsets them, it takes time to regain their trust. There is nothing you can’t come back from, though! If you are interested, check out my facebook page https://www.facebook.com/smallanimalresources/. I’d be happy to help!! I love working with small pet owners on behavior because, well, most people aren’t interested enough in their pets to seek behavior advice. So, when someone is dedicated enough to put in the work to make their relationship with their small pet great, it’s amazing!

[sarahthegemini]

Posted By Little Max on 4/06/2017 11:37 AM

It’s been about a week, and Max is still afraid of my hands. When I go to pet him, he just sits there, stiff, with his ears back. I feel so terrible and so i don’t pet him because I fear I’m stressing him out. I sit on the floor with him and now he just avoids me. I’m hoping things get back to normal soon.

Hmm, that is quite the grudge if it’s been a week. It’s good that you’ve stopped petting him for now. Perhaps just sit on the floor and hold your hand out with treats and see if he comes round? But don’t pet him just yet. I’m sure he’ll forgive you soon enough!

[Little Max]

Whew! I feel maybe I panicked a bit but now everything’s getting better. Max absolutely loves strawberries, and my mom has started buying these mini strawberries for him.
Last night I saw on the floor and held one out. As soon as he sniffed it he came running over. So I did something I’d done with rescue dogs I was rehabilitating, where you teach them “hands don’t hurt”. So while Max nibbled the strawberry, I mimicked petting him by stroking the air around his body. At first he was frightened, but once he realized I wasn’t going to touch him, he was fine. He finished the strawberry and then nudged my hands to look for more. I didn’t pet him, and then left him alone. This morning I did the same thing, and he wasn’t nervous at all. He nibbled the strawberry for a bit, then I gave him one stroke by the shoulders and he didn’t bat an eye. Then basically I let him take a bite of strawberry, then i moved it away, then petted him for a moment, then rewarded him with the strawberry. I did that until the berry was gone and then he hopped into my lap to look for more!

[Luna]

Yay! That’s a very interesting tactic with the petting the air thing. I’m glad it worked!

[sarahthegemini]

Aww, great outcome!

[vanessa]

Very interesting. I’m glad it worked out 🙂

[Sweetbuns@home]

That’s great! I’m so happy that things worked out for you!

[Author]

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