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Forum RAINBOW BRIDGE Adopting Again After Loss?

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    • Waffle65
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        Three months ago I lost my nine year old Dutch bunny Kiwi to congestive heart failure.  His passing came on very quickly, almost out of nowhere.  He was at the point where there was nothing the vet could do, so I had to make the heartbreaking decision to put him down, something I’m still feeling incredibly guilty about.  Kiwi was my first and only bunny I’ve ever had, and my best friend.  He was my world, and I’ve been having an awful time without him.  I’m the kind of person who thrives off of a routine, almost obsessively.  Not having him to take care of anymore is absolutely terrible (I don’t have any other pets). 

        I’ve thought about adopting another kind of pet, but due to allergies, limited space, and general dislike of other animals, there aren’t really any good options.  I’ve loved bunnies my entire life, and deep down I know that I won’t really be happy adopting any pets that aren’t bunnies. I’ve thought about possibly adopting another bunny, but I can’t help feeling beyond guilty for even entertaining the idea.  I know that Kiwi isn’t coming back, but adopting another seems like I’m trying to replace him, like he wasn’t special.  I’m worried that I may resent a new bunny, because they will either act too much like Kiwi, or nothing at all like him, and I won’t like their personality, none of which would be fair to a new bunny or myself.

        With Easter coming up quickly, I know it won’t be too long afterwards when shelters begin being flooded with unwanted easter bunnies.  I’m sure I would have plenty of bunnies to meet, but I don’t know if I’m ready or not.  Plenty of people on this forum have lost their bunnies and adopted again, how did you do it?  


      • Limit
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        189 posts Send Private Message

          I waited until both me and Binky had grieved. I’ve adopted around three weeks ago now and I still sometimes feel guilty, but I believe that our buns that are frolicking in the sky’s would want us to adopt another bun in need of a loving home – not to replace, never to replace, but simply as another companion.

          I believe you will find a bunny in a rescue that will make you smile, perhaps alike in personality to your previous bun or perhaps the exact opposite – who knows

          Feeling guilty is what we all do when we think of it as a replacement.

          Take your time, think things through, and maybe see things in a different perspective xx ~~Binky free Kiwi~


        • Vienna Blue in France
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          5317 posts Send Private Message

            Before opening your thread i was saying “yes!” in my head after reading the title.

            Kiwi would ABSOLUTELY want you to be as happy with another bunny as you were together…
            (Actually, he reckons it would be cool if you get a bonded pair from a rescue )
            If he could see you now, he would be very sad to see you so unhappy and knows that you would never compare the newbie to him.

            Go for it. Or maybe offer your services as a foster family until youre ready….

            We’ll wait patiently for the photo….


          • Gina.Jenny
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              When Rusty had to be pts a couple of years ago, I had just adopted two strays, probably abandoned Easter bunnies, and one of them, Jenny, was a very poorly girl and we nearly lost her too. Caring for her helped me cope with the loss of Rusty, and eventually, we adopted another boy bun, also probably an abandoned Easter bunny, so both girls had their own husbun. None of the three new adoptees were ever a replacement for Rusty, they each have their own, very different personalities.

              Binky free, Kiwi


            • Bam
              Moderator
              16836 posts Send Private Message

                A new pet isn’t a replacement. But I do know the feeling. When I lost my bridge dog Nala, I felt the same way – at the same time as I knew deep down nothing or noone could ever replace her. It was the individual I loved (and still love, 9 years later) and the individual is irreplaceable. What I did do when I got another dog was to get one with a different coloring, though, out of “fairness” to the puppy. She should never have to be compared to Nala. And she hasn’t been. She’s completely her own self. But to care for a puppy did help me heal.


              • Waffle65
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                62 posts Send Private Message

                  Thank you all for the kind words. I’ve been checking PetFinder recently for adoptables, and I think part of what upset me so much was that out of 12 available buns in the area, 5 of them are black and white Dutch. Obviously, I could never adopt another one of them, Kiwi is the only Dutch for me, and possibly even black and white bunny I could ever have. Seeing them really made it seem like I was looking for another to take his place. And yes Vienna Blue, I was actually considering a bonded pair this time. I would love to get to see them interacting with each other, and I think that having two may take the ‘pressure’ off of them to be like me and Kiwi were together, if that makes any sense. When I was first looking to adopt Kiwi, I got the idea in my head that I absolutely only wanted a black and white bunny, and he had to be a boy. Fortunately Kiwi came along then and was perfect. I think I’ll need to take some time and really think about what kind of bunnies I’m looking for, and not just adopting the first ones to come along. Hopefully this won’t take me too long.


                • vanessa
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                    When Merlin passed on, I let Guinivere grieve untill she was happy again, which took a month. I gave her a stuffy to cuddle with, and she still loves her stuffy. I adopted a little guy from a shelter, who I named Lancelot. He is a special needs bunny. Deaf, blind, weak limbs, possible arthritis, incontinence, and quite sick with E.C. He came to me recovering from malnutrition, corneal ulcers, and all sorts of digestive issues. I bonded him with Guinivere. Lancelot never felt like a replacement for Merlin. I still have a Merlin-looking stuffy sitting on his urn, in his remembrance. As Lancelot’s health takes bumpy turns, I find myself thinkging about days ahead when I might need to consider his rainbow bridge. If he passes – would I adopt to bond with Guin again, or bond her with my other pair.
                    I’m happy that you are considering adopting. I’m always a sucker for animals in need, and I tend to throw everything I have into caring for them. If you are thinking about breed-related health problems, the dutch have medicine limits because of their blood brain barrier, lops have dental issues, large breeds are prone to sore hocks, there are a number of conditions that are more prevelant in specific breeds. I don’t think a male or female would be better than the other. I have 2 males and 2 females, and I love them all. I like the idea of adopting an already bonded pair. It saves you the stress of bonding, but I don’t know how easy it is to bond yourself with an already bonded pair. I assume that when they come home to you, they stick even closer together due to the change in habitat. If you are not concerned about that, then adopting a pair is agood way to help out two bunnies, instead of one!


                  • Vienna Blue in France
                    Participant
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                      Glad to see you’re looking, it’s the first step!!
                      Youll know when the right ones come along…. you just will.
                      Can’t wait to see the photos !!!!


                    • tobyluv
                      Participant
                      3310 posts Send Private Message

                        I’m sorry about Kiwi. I think he would be happy that you are giving a home to a rabbit or rabbits from a shelter or rescue. It would in no way be a replacement for him. You would be helping a rabbit in need. You have plenty of room in your heart for another rabbit. Kiwi wouldn’t want you to be sad or lonely. He knew that you have a lot of love to give.


                      • Sam
                        Participant
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                          We are in a similar position, we’ve lost a bunny but his wife is still with us so for us getting another rabbit is imperative. I don’t see the act as replacing the bunny more thinking of our widow and how she needs a companion. There are so many bunnies out there that are desperate for a loving home that it would be a shame if you didn’t adopt. I would highly recommend a neutered/spayed male and female pair


                        • Azerane
                          Moderator
                          4688 posts Send Private Message

                            It was very tough for me. Last year in January I lost my bun, Bandit. We had a really strong bond and he was with me through a lot. I took it extremely hard when he passed away. After about 2 months I found myself wanting another rabbit because I missed the company, but I don’t think I was really ready. About four months after I felt more ready but at that point decided it was best to wait and save up more money so it ended up being 6 months before I actually adopted.

                            I found that the first bunny I met that was adoptable, after having a nice long cuddle session and coming home afterwards, I bawled my eyes out at the prospect of replacing Bandit. I think it was about another week after that before I went back and met some more bunnies and actually adopted Apollo and Luna. The original bunny that I cuddled I couldn’t adopt, he was a dirty grey colour and it was too close to Bandit’s colour who was a smoke pearl marten. Not to mention the rescue lady told me she thought he would be a good fit for me because she knew Bandit and his personality. I suspect that bun was much like Bandit was, but after learning a bit more about him I panicked at the thought of getting a bun that was ltoo much like Bandit was. But when Apollo was plopped down onto my lap by the foster carer (he was about the sixth bunny I cuddled that day) I just knew that he was the one. Turns out he had a bonded buddy so now we have two But I just knew that Apollo had to come home with me that day as soon as I met him.

                            The other bunnies were all cute, and while I was set on adopting, I’m really glad that I didn’t just pick any bunny and that I waited for that feeling of “the one” for me.

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                        Forum RAINBOW BRIDGE Adopting Again After Loss?