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Forum BONDING Trying to Bond my Rabbits is Giving Me Anxiety

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    • Carly
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        Hi, my name’s Carly and I’m new here (although I feel like I should’ve joined this community years ago!) I currently have two bunnies–Murphy, a 3~ish year old grey lionhead mix who I rescued from someone in my town who released their rubbits and set their outdoor hutch on fire about 2 years ago, and Stella, my brand new (literally… I’ve only had her for 4 days) 2 year old Holland Lop who I adopted from ARL in Pittsburgh.

        I took Murphy up to Pittsburgh to meet some buns and he and Stella were great together right away. They were grooming each other and when they weren’t, they were ignoring each other. The lady at the shelter said they’d be a great match. On the 2 hour car ride home they did amazing in the same carrier and relaxed and snuggled the entire time. Now, at home, I’ve done 3 bonding sessions, and none of them have gone very well.

        The first session, I made the mistake of setting up the neutral area on carpet where Murphy had a lot of grip. He started chasing Stella and we (my boyfriend & I) had to break it up immediately. Then, the next night we tried a session in the bath tub, and this went a little better. There was grooming at first, and then some mounting and scuffling. Finally, last night we tried again on another neutral area with a more slippery floor, and there was a full fledge fight with fur pulling and all. 

        Each session, my anxiety has grown worse and worse. The thought of putting them together makes my heart race and last night when my boyfriend was controlling the session, I heard them fighting I literally started hyperventilating and went into panic mode. I know that this aggression is pretty normal between two rabbits meeting for the first time, but it freaks me out and makes me incredibly anxious. I know that the rabbits can somewhat sense my tension, and it probably isn’t helping. I just really didn’t know it was going to be this nerve wracking and I’m starting to think I can’t do this…

        I know a lot of you are probably going to tell me to suck it up and take control, but if any of you have suffered with anxiety you’ll know that it’s harder than it seems. Tonight is the first night my boyfriend has to work… and without him here I don’t think I can do a bonding session, not alone. f I can’t get this under control, I’ll never be able to bond these rabbits. It’s only been 4 days and the bonding process has already caused me extreme stress and I’m on the borderline of an emotional breakdown. I don’t exactly know what I’m looking for in responses–advice or a pep talk or what–but if anyone could let me know if you’ve had a similar experience or situation, maybe it’d help me out. Thanks!


      • jerseygirl
        Moderator
        22338 posts Send Private Message

          I’m sorry you’re dealing with the anxiety at this time.

          It’s not uncommon for rabbits to behave differently once in the home environment where territorality comes into play. I rather think they can be territoral over is too, not wanting another rabbit to have your attention.

          Have you thought about sending them both somewhere to be bonded?


        • tobyluv
          Participant
          3310 posts Send Private Message

            It would probably be best to put a halt to the bonding sessions for a few days. When you bring a new rabbit home, it’s a good idea to let them settle in for about a week before you start any bonding. Especially since last night’s session escalated into a fight, it would be good to give them a break for a bit. You don’t want any injuries and you don’t want them to develop a dislike for each other.

            I have had good luck using an x-pen for bonding. My husband and I get in the pen with our rabbits, in case we need to break up any fighting, which we luckily never have had to do. Some scuffling and humping and chasing is normal, but you don’t want any of it to be excessive and to turn into fighting. You can place a sheet or blanket under the x-pen. The wrinkles or folds in the sheet may slow down some chasing and the sheet covers any prior scents in the rug or carpet underneath.

            I hope that you will have good success when you resume your bonding sessions. Welcome to Binky Bunny!


          • jerseygirl
            Moderator
            22338 posts Send Private Message

              pen for bonding. My husband and I get in the pen with our rabbits, in case we need to break up any fighting, which we luckily never have had to do.

              He he, Tobyluv. That paints such a funny picture. Such dedication!


            • SeeShmemilyPlay
              Participant
              201 posts Send Private Message

                For the way their bonding is going, it sounds normal and not like something to be too worried about.  As for your anxiety, the only advice I can offer is to have your boyfriend deal with the bonding.  I have anxiety, and I know you can’t suck it up.  So what I think the best option is, is for your boyfriend to handle all the sessions and for you to be in a separate room actively avoiding listening to anything.  If you don’t have any coping mechanisms, I don’t think bun bonding is the activity for you.  If you do have coping mechanisms, I would help out with bonding, and whenever you start to panic, give both the buns and yourself a break, and get back to it when you (and hopefully the buns) are calmer.


              • Carly
                Participant
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                  Thank you for the advice! I’m a college student and this week I have my finals so we’ve made the decision to keep the buns separated/let Stella get used to her environment until next week when things calm down. Then we will try the bonding again. 


                • LittlePuffyTail
                  Moderator
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                    Best of luck on your finals. Never having successfully bonded any bunnies, but having tried numerous times, I can def agree with you: It is very stressful. Why do they have to be so difficult.


                  • AKM
                    Participant
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                      I have major anxiety too. For you, I would take it very slow with baby steps with your buns. Even a very long term scenario that you wish to have. Feeling rushed to bond them will make you more anxious and the thought of them not getting along with make you feel worse. I can only imagine how you feel when you see them not getting along, as you probably worry about it endlessly. So, think positive that you adopted a new bun to give it a good home and that someday your bunnies will have a friend! If anything you know you enjoy taking care of them and giving them the love they need. ?

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                  Forum BONDING Trying to Bond my Rabbits is Giving Me Anxiety