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Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Confused about my feelings towards my rabbit

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    • Gizmomama2015
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        So I am a college student who got a rabbit my sophomore year. I am now a junior in college and have had my rabbit for over a year and I adopted him from a family that got him for their young son who OF COURSE, never took Gizmo out of his cage. I am so in love with my rabbit, I always say I am a crazy bunny mama. It took Gizmo quite a while to warm up to me but I worked and worked at it and now he finally has. He is a year and a half old lionhead who is the most affectionate, sweet boy I could have asked for. The issue is that he is not fixed. I did not have the money before to do it, now I do, but he doesn’t display any poor behavior related to this other than pooping everywhere which I think he might do even if he was fixed. Being the germaphobe and clean freak that I am, the poop absolutely horrifies me. My boyfriend is also allergic to Gizmo and it has been the source of a few arguments. Being a college student, I worry I don’t offer Gizmo enough attention and love that he deserves since I go to school full time and work. I can’t get another rabbit to be his friend because that would just mean more poop, more space being taken up, and more expense. I love my sweet boy so much and it is so painful for me to say this, but I have recently been considering looking for someone knowledgeable and willing to take on a new rabbit or surrendering him to a shelter. I want to cry just imagining doing this to him, but I just am not sure that I am providing him the love and care to make him the happiest he can be and I wonder if there is someone out there that can do better than me. I am also terrified someone will mistreat him and not love him nearly as much as I do. Has anyone gone through this same dilemma? Will I feel horribly guilty about giving him up after he has finally become my best friend? Is there a solution to the problems I’ve described that I’m just not seeing?


      • LBJ10
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          What makes you think his litter habits wouldn’t improve? Marking is generally a hormonal behavior. As for poop, it might be helpful to know that it’s herbivore poop. BIG difference from carnivore and omnivore poop. Herbivore poop is much less likely to contain pathogens. Rabbit “manure” is considered acceptable for composting and using said compost on plants meant for human consumption.


        • Odette
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            Only you know what is right for you.

            From my perspective, I had a college boyfriend who took an allergy medicine for the two years we dated to deal with my cat. If you live together, there are antihistamines. If you don’t, meet at his house. That’s a non-issue and please don’t let him make it an issue. There’s a door for any guy who can’t handle my animals.

            As for your reaction to poop, the poop isn’t new. You fell in love with Gizmo. You’ve been handling the poop for a while. Get gloves. Clean out your rabbit’s living area twice a day. I do it morning and evening. There’s no accumulation. I keep a small wastebin in the room just for the task. I empty that once a day. Its routine and easy to maintain.

            Bunnies are messy. Boyfriends are messy. Babies are messy. Nothing changes from bunny to your next pet or person. You have to ask yourself if your germaphobia is so severe that you can’t have pets at this time. And it may be. If so, I feel for you. That’s not fair to you or Gizmo and I hope you can relieve the anxiety. There is probably counseling available through your university if your germaphobia is severe (I’m not saying it is…I may misunderstand). Never hesitate to use it. That’s what they are there for and germaphobia is very common.

            This is about what is best for you, your health, and a living being that you love. This isn’t anyone else’s call. Not your boyfriend’s, not mine.

            And yes. To be blunt, giving Gizmo away will hurt. I can read the love in your post. Your heart will hurt. He’ll miss you. You’ll grieve. Love is like that. If it were my decision– and it’s not at all– I would attempt to tackle the germaphobia before making a decision. The thing about any anxiety disorder is that stress makes it worse. So, my advice is to not make a decision until you’re at a place where you don’t feel cornered into it. That way, if you do feel your health is suffering, you’ll know you did all you could.

            I wish you and Gizmo the best. This is not an easy decision, I know.

            Eta: I didn’t address the school and work thing. We all have responsibilities. If Gizmo is happy, he’s getting what he needs. Again, only you know.


          • tobyluv
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              There are a lot of rabbits out there in need of homes and it’s not so easy to find good homes for them. I volunteer at a rabbit sanctuary and we always stay full, and the others I know of stay full. I can tell that you love Gizmo, and it would be wonderful if you could keep him. You always take a chance that the next home isn’t so good, or it may start out good, then circumstances change in the household. You mentioned a shelter. Some rabbits may end up in a good home, but others don’t fare so well.

              Regarding the allergies, are you certain that it’s Gizmo himself? Some people have thought they were allergic to a rabbit, but it turned out to be the hay or bedding/litter that was the culprit. Timothy hay can often cause allergies, and so can certain types of bedding. Orchard grass or other hays are less likely to cause problems. And if it is the rabbit fur causing the allergies, you can make sure that he is kept well brushed, that the area he is in is well vacuumed, and you can buy an electronic air cleaner (not the ionizer type). Those work well at taking pet allergens out of the air.


            • Muchelle
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                I went through this when I got stuck with my bun. I received him as an unexpected gift, I didn’t know anything about rabbits nor wanted a rabbit as a pet, he was not in good health and I was working my ass off 12 hours a day on a mandatory apprenticeship… I literally cried at night for a couple of months because my idea was to give him up to someone I knew so I could monitor him, but the friend that initially offered to take him in had sudden problems of her own and eventually declined to adopt him.

                As you can see, in the end I kept him and damn it was hard to get to know him and somewhat create a bond. My friends are allergic to hay, so I have to do big cleanings every time they come over. I personally am allergic to dust, so I have to keep on cleaning to prevent dead hair and hay dust from collecting in every nook and cranny of my tiny living space. So I understand it’s a hard job to have a tight schedule and having to fit a bunny in it, but I’ve also experienced that as long as I give him some social interaction at night after being gone all day, he’s still happy. Moreover it shows that you have a great relationship with him (unlikely me and my bun, lol) so I say keep trying. We’ll be here to help along the way to figure out how to iron the problems that come up!

                Good luck!


              • Gizmomama2015
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                  I have been told by a friend who has had pet rabbits his whole life that once he learns to poop everywhere, it won’t stop just because he is fixed. I guess I am assuming because he is over a year old now that he has learned to poop everywhere and will not just unlearn this because he is fixed? He knows to only pee in his litter box, but no matter what I have tried he continues to poop whenever the urge strikes him haha!


                • LBJ10
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                    Pooping everywhere is marking. It’s hormonal behavior. Yes, sometimes bunnies retain some behaviors that have formed into habits. But neutering still offers a high probability of improving litter habits. I’m not trying to sound rude. That’s the last thing I want to do. I just want to make sure you have explored all of your options thoroughly. If neutering could help solve the problem, then why not give it a shot? It sounds like you love him and finding a good home where you know for sure he would be well taken care of would be difficult.


                  • Q8bunny
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                      Well… you say you love him. We work on relationships with those we love. Every. Single. Day. Why should Gizmo be any different?
                      Poop everywhere is likely hormonal. Buns are smart and clean – most litter train themselves once sterilized. My boy did it. The dozens of buns I work with at the shelter do it. Gizmo will likely do it.
                      Buns sleep most of the day, so unless you work 24/7 for grades or money, chances are you can make time for him or make sure the time you do have with him matters (quality over quantity).
                      Don’t know what else to tell you except don’t chuck him until you’ve exhausted every other possibility.


                    • Vienna Blue in France
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                        Germaphobia – never heard of it until I read this ….

                        I absolutely agree with the others. Allergies : check the hay situation. Entertainment : when you’re there is he happy, If yes, then that’s fine.

                        It sounds as if you do love him loads and if the poops (& b’friend) are the only reason (be it a main one) then surely he deserves a chance to show you that he can be a clean boy. You will always get one or two ‘man overboards’ but not mass pooping in one area !

                        Ask yourself ” Will I regret it if I don’t give him a try?”

                        Or have you got your mind already made up?


                      • DorothyTheMiniSatinBun
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                          Just from the tone of your post, it seems you are trying to convince yourself that giving up the bun is a good idea even if your heart tells you not to. What I would say based on personal experience… don’t make this decision based on the boyfriend. It already tells me a lot that you’re fighting over the bunny. My boyfriend doesn’t like pets, he doesn’t like mess like my bun’s poop and pee, and he is allergic to most animals, but he loves seeing me so happy with my bun that he never complains about these things (and believe me, he is not one to keep his opinions to himself!) If the bunny really makes you this happy, I think you can work on it. I also agree with the above post about how bun’s usually just sleep in the daytime when you’re gone anyway. But you’re right to recognize that they are a lot of work if you want to do it the right way. But that should come easy with the amount of love you have for him, don’t you think?


                        • MrBun&Daisy
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                            Just putting my 2 cents in here….I am allergic to my buns. Not deathly allergic so I take an allergy pill and move on with life. I have learned I cannot snuggle with them first thing in the morning without taking my pill first or I’m in for a blocked nose and a million sneezes. Gizmo is yours. not your boyfriend’s. it is not his decision to make. if he cannot handle something that gives you joy simply out of annoyance for a few sneezes then that’s an entirely different conversation you need to have with him.  
                              
                             Since he is peeing in his litter box this really sounds hormonal.  When my bun started going through puberty before we neutered him he was pelleting EVERYWHERE. he still peed in his litter box 95% of the time with the occasional pee marking (not a big puddle just a “this is my spot” puddle) once he was neutered that calmed down almost entirely. We put a second litter box in his house to remind him of his potty manners and after a month of that we have been able to remove it and he does not make a mess anymore. Of course you will always have the stray pellets that escape while they play but we keep a small hand vacuum specifically for that. I vacuum once in the morning and once before bed if needed. I got tired of sweeping so this way if I see a stray pellet I can just suck it up.

                            Like everyone else I really don’t mean to sound rude- but I don’t think It would be fair to rehome him for these reasons reasons. I do understand they may not seem small to you but I really do think there are solutions that could make life for you and gizmo a lot easier with just a little effort.

                            I say have him neutered- re start the litter training process. When we litter trained daisy we would suck up all the pellets outside of the litter box then dump them into the litter box. this showed her that’s where they go. Since this is your main problem you will need to put in the work to help him get the hang of what you want him to do. As for your boyfriend and his allergies- check the hay, invest in a lint roller to keep stray hair down, and get him an allergy pill.

                            I work during the day- the buns know their play time is before work and after. try to set a routine for gizmo and stick to it as much as you can. When MrBun was an only child knowing when I would be home to play helped him a lot. They will often adjust their sleep schedules as well so really when you aren’t there its probably nap time anyway.

                            Give gizmo a chance. He loves you as much as you love him. A good vacuum and allergy pill could do wonders for you guys I truly think you will regret giving gizmo up.


                          • Quartz
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                              You should absolutely have him neutered. It will make litter training him SO much easier. My two year old lionhead was not neutered when I adopted him and not litter trained. A week after his operation, he was 99% litter trained and to date has left only a total of maybe 10 poops outside his pen so far (he free roams)–and it’s been months since! He’s super clean now. Before, he even peed in random places. Neutering helps calm down a bun and also will help him avoid dealing with frustration of not being able to find mates, as his natural inclination would have him do if he could.


                            • VivaLaBunz
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                                I think you should neuter Gizmo, and give him a few months of litter training while his hormones die down. It should improve. The poop that is on the floor simply sweep up and dump it into his litter box. If he poops in one spot consistently get a litter box for that spot. The fact that he pees in his litter box is a very good sign, and the poop of a rabbit is really not that gross (at least comparatively). If you truly have a phobia with germs then perhaps this is the way to get over your phobia, which will help you in the long-run. Rabbit poop is easy to sweep up (even on carpets) or vacuum so I don’t think this should be a reason to give up your baby. If your boyfriend doesn’t like it then tell him to take some allergy medicine. Quite frankly I would choose my animals and my love/passion for animals over a relationship, but that’s just me.

                                Like everything in life there are challenges. I believe you can overcome your challenges with Gizmo 100%, and you will be a stronger person/couple after it.


                              • Love4Bunny
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                                  I commend your openess in discussing your feelings, because it’s not always an easy thing to do. If you want to keep Gizmo, you have to focus on the positive, no question about it. Every relationship has negatives, but when one focuses on that, nothing survives. The only way you can keep Gizmo is to make changes. Gizmo can’t do that – only you can. I think, if you do legitimately suffer any type of anxiety or phobia, giving Gizmo away will not fix it because it will come up at another time (anything can be a trigger). My husband WAS a germophobic (imo). You know what changed him? Getting out of his comfort zone and getting uncomfortable. I mean no disrespect when I say this (I would say it to anyone), but boyfriends aren’t neccessarily forever. The bond between you and your animal may last longer. Don’t give Gizmo up on account of your boyfriend – work around it. Like Odette? said, keep a small bin and dustpan in your rabbit space and clean once or twice a day (I know I do). Get Giz neutered and put disposable gloves and an extra litterbox in the rabbit room. You can worry about the rest when Gizmo gets neutered, you know? One day at a time. There is also no guarantee the next owner of Gizmo will pay better attention to him than you. If you want Gizmo, I strongly encourage you to focus on the good and not the bad, otherwise you will likely give him away and regret it. I think any animal lover in the same position would feel likewise.

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                              Forum HOUSE RABBIT Q & A Confused about my feelings towards my rabbit