Please help me with this horrible dilemma

[Alfiebuns]

Hi,

 

I’m so glad this place exists because I have no idea what to do. I apologise for the length of this….

 

 

We lost my beautiful darling Pepperpot yesterday morning. She was just 11 months old and the sweetest little thing. She was absolutely fine, perhaps not as bouncy as usual the night before now that I look back but in the morning she took herself downtairs and played outside in the garden hile her husbun, Alfie, stayed in bed as usual. Then, just a couple of hours later she was extremely sluggish with very dark eyes and could barely move herself. I picked her up and she flopped in my arms. She kept trying to hide her face, I don’t know why, then, on the way to the emergency vet (Sunday) she gave out quite a lot of liduid from her nose and mouth and died.

 

 As it was Sunday, I brought her home with me until she could be cremated. I contacted my vet and they said I could give her to them to put in cold storage but she on’t be cremated until Thursday as this is when the people come to collect the pets for cremation. So, she is here and I’m happy she’s here it feels right but my dilemma now is whether or not to let Alfie see her.

 

 They were incredibly close and in love and did everything together, he is the softest creature and adored her. Just hours after she had passed away he was showing signs or stress. At first he did a house search for her, looking in their hiding places, and when he could not find her he just went quiet and wouldn’t interact. He was eating but not much and he was going to the toilet. He also ha an underlying health problem with his sinuses, this flares up when he gets stressed and is the reason we rescued little Pepperpot for him. So, today I rescued a little girl bunny from the rspca and he straight away bonded with her but not the same way he did with Pepper. She looks a lot like Pepper and he seems to expect the same behaviour from her but obviously doesn’t receive it.

 

 So, my problem is whether to show him Pepper’s body now. I’ve read on a few site that buns have to do this to accept the death of their partner but because Alfie seems ok at times I don’t know whether this would just upset him immensely and unnecessarily as he could very well be moving on. But, he does stll seem to be waiting for Pepper to come home at times and is withdrawn so it could help? I just don’t know what to do.

 

It is devastating enough but the thought of my little man having to see his partner dead just breaks my heart, I don’t know what is best for him. Does anyone have any advice? I would really appreciate it. I’m sorry this is so long, I’ve cried my way through it!

 

 

Steph

[mia]

IMO What is best for him (and yourself too), is time to mourn a death and not have another bun as a replacement. In addition, new bun will feel dejected as it will never be able to replace Pepper. You should spend this time mourning with Alfie and spending extra time together to get through it. Alfie should get time with Pepper so he won’t search for her forever and wonder what happened.

[Alfiebuns]

Bloo, new bun, is not and there could never be a replacement for Pepper.

Alfie cannot be alone as he gets stressed, it was due to this I had to get him a friend so quickly. The new bun has made us smile when we never thought we could through the grief and she will be very much loved by him and all of us.

[jerseygirl]

This is so sad. I’m sorry for your loss of Pepperpot.

As you’ve said, the thinking with allowing the bonded mate time with the body is so they recognize their mate has passed and it could help them get through it quicker.
Some people say the surviving rabbits(s) acknowledge the deceased rabbit but then move away from it. They still grieve, they just don’t want to spend time with the body once they realize.
Others say their rabbits do stay close. So it varies…

My concern with your situation is if Pepperpot passed from something contagious. If she’d contracted something that took her quickly like calici virus. Do you have any idea what may have caused her death?

I think Alfie’s grief and stress is unavoidable unfortunately. If you do decide to let him see her, I’m wondering if putting her somewhere where he can see and smell her but not contact is an idea? Enough for him to know for certain she has gone.

Again, I’m sorry you (and Alfie) lost her so suddenly. ***Binky Free Pepperpot***

[Monkeybun]

If she was playing in the garden, it’s possible she ate something she shouldn’t have, or something was contaminated with some other kind of animal feces or such… can’t say for sure though

So sorry for your loss of pepper…. *hugs*

[Bam]

RIP Pepperpot. Sorry for your loss.

Don’t know where you live but could it have been RHD? Rabbits can die very quickly of it, you may not have time to notice sth is wrong. The fluid from her nose and mouth would be consistent with this terrible disease.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rabbit_haemorrhagic_disease

If you suspect it Pepperpot’s body must be destroyed, it’s highly contagious and the virus can survive a long time and is resistent to freezing.There are vaccines available so you can protect your other buns.

 

Sorry I don’t have any advice for you on how to help your other rabbit deal with his loss, I only wanted to warn you so you don’t inadvertently transfer a disease to him by letting him explore his dead mate’s body. 

 

Again, so sorry for your loss. They are our dear, dear little friends. A bunny can’t be replaced, of course, but that doesn’t mean you’ll love another bun less. She’ll be a whole new personality, not a replacement.

[AnnaW]

I am so so sorry for your loss, it must have been devestating seeing her go like that. I agree to be careful with letting him interact with his mate’s body just incase of any diseases as you are unsure what caused her passing. I am sure your new rescue bun is not a replacement, sometimes a new face and someone new to concentrate on and care for can drag you out of your darkest moments.
Sending healing thoughts x

[Alfiebuns]

Hi all,

 

 

 Thank you so much for your replies and well wishes, Alfie and I really appreciate it.

 

I was  terrified that Pepper had passed from RHD so I took Pepper to be examined yesterday morning, not autopsied just looked at by my vet and she expected it was bloat as Pepper’s tummy was really really big as she died and the fluids she secreted from her nose and mouth were her internal fluids coming out as she died  Although the vet couldn’t rule out RHD without the autopsy she said Alfie would have already contracted it so I brought him in to be checked and he got the all clear but as I’m sure you all know RHD can be symptom free. So, I’m spending every second with my Alfie to keep an eye on him and he is thoroughly enjoying it!

 

 With regards to Pepper’s body, I put her on the floor od our bedroom and Alfie come over to see her but just covered her up by pulling a blanket over her. I don’t know if this as deliberate but it was heart breaking and kind of nice in a way to see him accept it, if this is what it meant. He then run off to play with Bloo, I’m sure he is still grieving but he has a lovely little distraction to help him through it.

 

 

Again, thank you all. I never knew how hard it would be to lose my little bunny. Big hugs to everyone whose going or gone through it!

 

 

Steph & Alfie 

[jerseygirl]

You must be relieved to see he’s coping well.

If you do have concerns about calici, do you have the vaccine available where you are? There is a myxomatosis and RHD combined vaccine now also.
They can still contract these diseases but its a less severe infection in a vaccinated rabbit.

[Alfiebuns]

Yes I’m very relieved! He’s even been quite binkysome today and last night it is amazing to see!

We do have the combined vaccine near us, Pepper, Alfie and Bloo were all vaccinated which again put my mind at slighter ease with regard to Pepper dying from RHD. Alfie is due his booster soon too but I’m waiting for him to get back into a routine first before the dreaded trip to the vets.

Thanks again everyone!

[Author]

Messages