OMG IM PREGNANT!!!

[Starmoniiglisten]

I dont want to tell anyone around here, because everyone has bigmouths, butttt I just found out i was pregnant!! What am i gunna do???  No car  I do not believe in abortion, nor am i going threw adoption.. Does anyone have any ideas of programs that can help me out financially, Please help…  And please dont judge me.

[kamdynandsunshinesmom]

I no WIC helps people out. Other than that I don’t know never had kids and don’t plan on it. Congrats.

[amysbunnersons]

i would call social services in ur area they can send u in the right direction

[longhairmike]

if you’re 18 and unemployed, you’re going to be competing for jobs with unemployed people with college degrees.
you’re not in any financial position to be able to take care of a kid. An entry level job that a teenager might be able to get is no where near enough to support a child. you’re going to need to put the mommy-excitement aside and consider adoption in the best interest of the child.

[Stickerbunny]

The government helps with expenses like medical care etc if you and your family cannot afford it for kids, as well as food stamps… but honestly, that is a HARD life for a mother and a child. You should think hard about the possibility of adoption. If you do get a job and you have no degree etc, it will likely be something minimum wage so that means having to have two jobs and when you come home, it isn’t relaxation you’ll get it’s diapers, bottles, no good nights rest because of 2am feedings. Bosses tend to be sympathetic to parents and give more hours than non-parents, but it still is VERY costly.

If there is a planned parenthood in your area, they do offer free advice to women who are pregnant, counseling etc. They can point you to where to go for further help. And despite what some of the news says, it isn’t an evil place that is all for abortion, they’ll try to help you with what YOU want to do.

[bunnyfriend]

I don’t think there really is any program that would be able to support you and your baby fully. Juggling work, school, and a baby is something only a small percentage can do successfully unfortunately. I am very sorry about your situation, it isn’t going to be easy no matter what you choose to do. Please do go to Planned Parenthood though, they can help you figure things out. I would also tell your parents, the earlier you guys make a plan for everything (job, who’s going to take care of the child during the day, ect.) the better. Consider adoption though, it might be the best option for both you and your baby. 

[bwild]

I agree with bunnyfriend and Stickerbunny. Go to Planned Parenthood, as they can give you all sorts of good information. Also, I would ask you to at least look into the adoption process. I’m adopted and I have SO much respect for my birth mom that she was willing to do one of hardest things for her of giving up her own child to make sure that I had a good life. My adoption is considered ‘open’ so I have contact with my birthmom (my mom I live with sent pictures of me growing up, talked on phone, met when I was old enough, etc) so you can look into something like that too.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

Unfortunately your not in a position to bargain-i.e. I want this, not this and this. You are pregnant with no job and no money, so you need to talk to professionals and think about the best interest of the child. I would talk to social services/planned parenthood/even a church figure -they can help.  They can advise you more, but remember in the days of DNA testing, Dad will also have some obligations-and some rights.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/

[Monkeybun]

Also keep in mind that you likely won’t be able to work through the entire pregnancy, and for a bit after. And then there is child care for while you’re at work to consider, which will likely take up most of a minimum wage-paycheck.

Definitely talk to planned parenthood. They can give you tons of advice, as well as wellness checks for you and baby. And birth control for after baby is born.

[bunnyfriend]

Oh I also just realized, you might also want to think about what you’re going to do with your bunny. Babies cost a TON, so there might not be any money to take care of the bunny (and vet bills).

[Sarita]

I would first and foremost talk with your boyfriend – he needs to take responsibility for this as well and help you emotionally and financially and help you get the help you both need through this time.

Next, speak to your family and friends and get their advice – I know it’s scary to do this, but it’s inevitable that they will find out – I’m not sure obviously what your situation is with your family, but I’m hoping they can give you their guidance and support.

[Michelle&Lolli]

I just want to point that it may seem like everyone is judging you. Believe me, no one is.

Let me give you a real life illustration: I am 32 years old. I have an Associates degree and I make $10.62 an hour. I am currently living with my dad because I cannot afford to live on my own right now. I had some medical problems this past year and had to move out of my apartment. Even when I was living on my own, I was struggling to make ends meet. I am living with a parent and I am STILL struggling to make ends meet. And I have NO KIDS!!!! It’s just me. (And Lolli.) There is absolutely no way I could support any other person right now.

Sure there are welfare programs. But that is a very stressful process. Planned Parenthood was created to help women with ALL their reproductive needs. They are there to educate, provide gynecological services (routine exams, etc), help with family planning, and yes, providing referrals for abortion if that is what the woman chooses.

The only thing I am going to tell you to do – You need to tell the father and your parents.

[BinkyBunny]

 This is a very serious situation, more so than we can really help here on this board.  I hope that the suggestions made however will help encourage you in the right direction.  This is an issue that really needs to be discussed further with people who have much more knowledge and experience with this.   I agree that this will get out eventually, so just start talking to people who need to know and look for guidance with counselors, organizations, church (if that is applicaple for you).    This won’t be an easy road regardless of your decision but one will have to be made and I think that the sooner you start working on a plan with someone that has experience and knowledge, you can start moving forward and not be stuck in fear, panic and stress of the unknown. 

[Sam and Lady's Human]

Try not to stress, finding out your pregnant can be a shock no matter what age or financial situation Talk to those involved, the father, your parents, his parents, etc, start to brainstorm on the basics, job, where you’re all going to live, etc. Depending on your state, some cover childrens medical and your pregnancy bills as long as your under an income bracket. You’ll be hard pressed to find a job while pregnant, since they know they have to give you maternity leave. Childcare generally costs more than minimum wage anyway, so you might want to see what the father can do. Anyway, congrats, and rely on those that love you!

[LBJ10]

You are engaged, correct? I thought I read that somewhere. Your fiance is in the navy. Could you guys get married and then you would be on his military benefits?

[Eepster]

If you’d like, I can PM you a link to a board of mostly moms I spend a lot of time on. Though some of us are older mom like me, there are many younger moms who started having kids as teens. Trust me none of us over there will judge you for an unplanned pregnancy. I got pregnant for the first time when I was just 17 and still in highschool, but sadly I had trouble carrying to term and miscarried, so no judging. You can get lots of great advice about stuff like WIC, medicaid and what not.

Just let me know if you’d like the link.

[Eepster]

Oh, and on the job front, you best bet right now might be a little seasonal retail work. Since it’s temporary anyway, you won’t have to talk about maternity leave and stuff. You can just put a little money aside from it and it gives you a little more of a work history.

[Beka27]

Posted By Eepster on 10/08/2011 02:28 PM
Oh, and on the job front, you best bet right now might be a little seasonal retail work. Since it’s temporary anyway, you won’t have to talk about maternity leave and stuff. You can just put a little money aside from it and it gives you a little more of a work history.

If you have a Toys R US near you, they will be hiring soon for holiday help.  You will also receive a (small) discount that can be used there (or at Babies R Us) so you can start buying necessities.  Sometimes, if you work out well, employment can be transferred to a local Babies R Us following the holiday season.  (You can receive maternity leave if you are an employee for at least 6 months.  I can’t tell you the number of people who get a job at either TRU/BRU the week they find out they’re pregnant and then 7 months later are on maternity leave.)

[MoveDiagonally]

This is all advice that applies to where am in Oregon. Some of these things might not be available where you are but there may be something similar.

Apply for EBT (Food Assistance) and WIC (food and nutrition assistance) which will help you feed yourself and your child. Talk to the Food Assistance office about getting cash benefits. The cash benefits can help you with diapers, etc… Things that can’t be purchased with food benefits.

Apply for Section 8 Housing. Waiting lists are usually long but they will help you find a place and/or help you pay rent.

Find out what kind of medical assistance is offered in your area. In Oregon a pregnant woman can get medical coverage through the Oregon Health Plan.

Most assistance agencies above can also help you find other assistance programs. Contact social services and see if they can help you.

If you intend to keep your child and are unmarried to the father than you need to know your rights. Research custody laws in your area. Child support laws, etc… In my state unmarried parents have 50/50 custody unless there is an agreement in place. This has caused some problems for one of single parent friends. Her ex came back when the child was two years old. They tried do visitation, he was a piece of work, and one day he refused to let her pick up their daughter. She had to go to court because legally he had 50% custody and could keep her.

Good luck in whatever path you choose! My Mother was 16 when she had me, kicked out by her parents, finished high school, went to college, and made me a good life. (She eventually found my awesome step father, who adopted me, married and had 3 more kids). Anything is possible if you have the determination to make something work. My Mother is an exception not a rule and she sure struggled a lot. Good vibes your way!

[MoveDiagonally]

I’d like to add that in some places ” Open Adoption” is an option. It’s where you get to be in your child’s life to whatever extent that you agree upon with the adoptive parents. Explore all your options and find out what is best for you and your child. This is not to discourage you from keeping your child just wanting pointing out something that not a lot of people consider.

[Starmoniiglisten]

Thanks guys, alot i really appreciate it!!! I actually got my dream job, hair stylist!! I dont die hair or anything like that because its harmful to be around, and i have been pregnant 3x now. But i misscarried. So i have tons of baby stuff up untill she/he turns 3. Including diapers and everything. And my mom knows she knew ten minutes after i found out. Shes already baught me baby stuff, including MORE clothes. and a baby dresser. My fiance is not in the navy YET. he will be though, and his familly has baughten us many things And the best part is, he just got unemployment untill he does leave Its so great, things have been looking up very well. Of course besides the morning sickness and stuff but other than that the bunny is covered He will always be spoiled hehe I do not agree upon abortion, i know to many women who have done that and regreted it. But that is not the point. I know i can be a great mom. Even though I am young i do know what i am doing. Thanks so much for hope

[kamdynandsunshinesmom]

I am glad everything is looking up for you and glad things are going your way!

[bullrider76543]

Wish you the best. I managed to finish school when my youngest son was born in my senior year. It was in no way easy but it is possible to get help from social services as long as you are willing to help yourself. You’ll be in my prayers.

[Kafrn]

Now you can get a stroller and a diaper bag for your baby too!

[Starmoniiglisten]

Hahhaa yes a stroller and diaper bag :p

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