Bunny coping with the loss of a mate

[Sonn]

I know you are supposed to let the survivng rabbit spend time with the body. But in my distraught state I completely forgot and Walter has already been buried. So I want to make sure that all of this is normal since this is my first time dealing with a rabbits death and I am a worrier so I am very worried about Pacey. 

Pacey is hiding almost all day only coming out long enough to get a drink or potty. I haven’t been able to get him to eat yet (except once when a friend was here) unless it is a piece of a raisin or strawberry. He wants to sit beside his and Walters pen when he does come out of hiding but won’t go inside and will attack the dogs if they go near it. I haven’t been able to take it down or look at it yet so I am not sure if I should or if that would make him worse. Last night instead of sleeping under my bed like he usually does he slept on my head (literally) if I tried to put him down he would just get back up so I let him. 

Do I just leave him alone or do I try to console him?

He still follows me around when I bring him into the living room at night before bed. And my friend had one of her rabbits over and he seemed better and would play and ate while he was here but as soon as they left he went back to my bedroom and hid.

 

[MimzMum]

Rabbits grieve much like we do. Some of us prefer solitude and others need company….sounds like Pacey needs a bit of both. It also sounds like he is uncertain of what has happened, and perhaps is waiting for Walter to come back from wherever he has gone. Over time he will realize the truth. But for now, if you can let him spend as much time as possible with you, and of course if your friend can bring her bunny back often, at least this seems to cheer him enough to eat, which is good.
It will probably take both of you awhile to get past this. Just take that time. You’ll know when and if it is right to remove Walter’s pen. Until then if Pacey derives some comfort from the familiar scent, it should stay. If it appears to distress him further, perhaps it should be removed.
He sounds like most other bunnies I’ve seen here who have lost a friend or mate suddenly. Whatever you can do to help him continue to eat and have as normal of a routine as possible in the days ahead is your best bet to helping him through this. Just be sure his daily functions are going on, and if he should completely refuse food/water or stop going potty then I would be alarmed.

I’m gathering that his sleeping on your head is a bid for comfort. I’ve had a few of my animals do this when they are upset, and more often do it when they know I’m upset. (not my bunnies though…they don’t free range)

[Sarita]

It truly depends on the rabbit. Toffee didn’t seem to change when Twizzler was gone but just got grumpier so I guess that’s how she grieves.

I think follow your instincts based on Pacey’s behavior. Give him a few days, he may be confused about where Walter is. I think lots of petting and talking to him will help. You are also probably super observant of him so you may be noticing more than you normally would. Hopefully he will eat more soon.

[RabbitPam]

He sounds normal, and grieving, and knows what will comfort him, but I am concerned about the not eating part.
I would make sure he has several dishes of foods available; greens, pellets, healthy treats like the veggie cookies (I use these) by Oxbow, a few of the good fruits like banana and apple slices, and tons of hay out. Full, clean water dishes, too. You want to entice him into eating something, no matter what, and not get empty. That’s his biggest risk right now.

Otherwise, he clearly finds comfort from you, so get down on the floor and snuggle up. It will help you too. Sleeping on your head is very sweet, and let him as long as you can sleep too.
You might consider taking a stuffed toy, especially if they already had one, and putting it out near him where he’s hiding in case he wants a soft toy companion. If one smells like her, it may help. Or if there is a blankie she used, let him have that near him. Meanwhile, I think I would begin to clean and clear away other items to keep her presence centered on those things with her scent, and remove the general reminders now. He will probably behave like this for as long as 2 weeks or more. But one day he may be markedly better, possibly sooner. You want him to stay healthy in the meantime.

[LittlePuffyTail]

I did some searching for you and found this article: http://www.petplace.com/small-mammals/deal…page1.aspx

 It’s about introducing a plush grieving buddy.

The other day I had a plush bunny and I made it cuddle with Stormy and make it act like it was grooming and he seemed to enjoy it very intensely. I’ve never seen him tooth pur so much. Maybe stuffed bunny therapy might help Pacey deal with the loneliness. Perhaps you have something that still smells strongly of Walter that you could use to “scent” the stuff bunny. A puppet would probably work even better.

[Sonn]

Thanks for all of the suggestions!

He eats his hay like normal but won’t eat actual food except a bite or two of a treat. I will try putting out different foods to see if that will get him to eat something.

I took down Walter’s pen this morning to see if it helps. Since coming down Pacey isn’t hiding behind it and has stopped attacking the dogs. He has been dragging around and grooming a stuffed unicorn he and Walter used to hide around the house.

I am going to go out and buy raspberries since they are his favorite to see if I can get him to eat something. Plus my friend is bringing her rabbit back over to see if he does like he did yesterday and eat his food while the other bun is here.

It doesn’t bother me to let him sleep on my head I am an insomniac anyway and just lay there most nights so him being on top of my head doesn’t hinder that.

I’ll be trying the things suggested.

[Sonn]

Ok well Pacey refused all food today other than when my friend brought her rabbit over and he ate pellets, hay, raspberries, strawberries, an apple honey cookie and a piece of pineapple.

As soon as the other bun left he went straight to my bedroom grabbed Walters toy and went and sat on Walters blanket with it and has been there ever since. I sat on the floor with him for a few hours he squished between me and the toy.

I also put out all his favorite foods to see if he eats anything overnight.

And I agree that I am probably being super overly observant since I am noticing every tiny little thing that I normally would think nothing of.

[Monkeybun]

Poor little Pacey. Have you thought of maybe doing more bunny dates to find him a friend again? Sounds like he does better with your friend’s bun.. but it may be too soon for you

[Sonn]

I am beginning to think that I will have no choice no matter how hard it will be for me Pacey comes first. He hasn’t eaten anything other than a small handful of hay since yesterday. My vets is suggesting I try Critical Care so I am leaving in a few to pick some up to see if that works. If not she wants me to bring him in…

[Monkeybun]

Hopefully he will eat it! Vibes for little Pacey!

[RabbitPam]

I’m so glad you consulted the vet and are trying the Critical Care. since it’s possible that the grief is masking an illness, it’s important to be in touch with your vet. Also, even if the grief is the sole reason, Pacey needs to keep up his strength. Clearly he has found his own surrogate toy to cuddle. The fact that he is OK with the removal of some of Walter’s things and it calmed him down around the dogs is a good sign. He really needs close attention and time to feel better. I wonder if he is a bit sad when the friend bunny visitor leaves, too?

Snuggles for Pacey from me, please.

[MimzMum]

I’m just going to add some continued healing vibes here for both you and Pacey’s hearts. I am so sorry to hear he is taking this hard and yet, he does sound like he’s going through the process. He could be picking up on your mood as well, so if you are glum when the friend and bunny leave, this may help trigger his behavior.
Good thing to keep in touch with the vet. It certainly can’t hurt if you decide to have them take a look at him.

I can sympathize with the feeling that a new companion may be necessary. It is very difficult, especially in your circumstance, but only you and Pacey can tell if that would be the right move.

Now this is totally out of left field, and going to sound more than a little kooky I think, but don’t hesitate to talk to Pacey as you would a human friend. I have found recently that I believe animals understand our speech (or at least the tonal changes) much better than we think they do. If you explain to him what happened, and how you both must now go on together, perhaps it will aid his understanding. I say this because I was recently commiserating within earshot of Jenna that I was thinking I wouldn’t be able to take our night walks much longer because my diminished eyesight and the extreme darkness we still have here are making me so disoriented I fear I may fall and not be able to make it back to the house. THAT EVENING, Jenna shortened our walk and, instead of making me carry her home, walked back all by herself (she NEVER does this, she’d rather have me tote her).
And since that night, she’s done this almost every time. Did she understand my words or just the fear in my voice? If it was just he fear, how did she know it was about the walk?
I dunno…it’s a long shot and makes me sound like a nut to say it, but I don’t see that it would do harm to speak directly to Pacey, if you’re not already doing so.
In the meantime, big hugs for both you and Pacey from me and my brood! ((((((((((((((((((Sonn & Pacey)))))))))))))))))) Hang in there, guys!

[Sonn]

I will be trying the critical care shortly.

I try not to be gloomy and down around him since I too believe animals can pick up on your mood and I talk to all of my animals like they are people (hence the reason my friends and family think I am completely insane). I am going to see how he does if I keep all bunnies away for awhile. I am in no hurry to get another rabbit right now. I am just concerned about the not eating at the moment since I know after a certain amount of time it can be dangerous (can’t remember exactly how long right now) I wasn’t too worried since he was eating his hay and treats but now he is refusing everything except water.

[Sonn]

No food in 24 hours so now Pacey is at the vets office… She is going to try a couple of things and make sure nothing is medically wrong with him. If not then she wants to teach me how to syringe feed him.

[Monkeybun]

Oh Pacey, stop worrying your mommy!! Eat, little man!!

(((((((((((eating vibes for bunbun)))))))))))

(((((((((((relaxing vibes for Sonn)))))))))))))

[JennyD]

It sounds like your bunny is grieving in a fairly normal fashion. I would say, yes, offer comfort Pacey. Spend more time with him and let him know he is loved and wanted.
He needs to eat or can have lots of health problems, so if he hasn’t started eating, get the critical care and force fees ASAP.
This may sound odd, but you might want to consider a new bunny matte sooner than later. When my 8 year old rabbit Midnight lost her mate, she was so sullen and depressed and did nothing. I thought for sure we would die soon. We got a new baby bunny and Midnight was like a baby herself, running and playing and jumping all over the house and backyard.
And I am also sorry for your loss. Our pets are not just pets, but family.

[jerseygirl]

Any update Sonn? Could a 3rd visit from your friend with the rabbit test whether this is still related to his grief? Since he ate before when he had the rabbit company?
{{{{{Pacey}}}}}

[Sonn]

This is what the vet did. When I took him while I was there she put some greens, fruit and pellets in the holding cage and we waited for an hour to see if he would eat them, he didn’t. I unfortunately had to leave so he was left in her hands while I was gone. I told her about him only eating his my friends rabbit was around. So she wanted to test him with a strange rabbit to see if it had the same results.

There was another bun there who was getting spayed so she flipped Pacey’s cage around so he was facing her (about a foot away). She said at first both just sat there staring at one another but eventually went to their doors and started sniffing around. Around 30 minutes later she said Pacey started nudging his food bowl closer to the door and once it was up against the door he started eating the greens and fruit.

I haven’t talked to her yet today since she is doing surgery so I am supposed to call at 3pm to see where we go from here.

[jerseygirl]

Lil Pacey! That’s almost like he’s wanting to share it or it’s now a shared activity for him. Kind of makes sense for pellets (if limited) and greens as these are served & consumed at certain times, so he and Walter likely ate these together (Yes?). Where as hay could be accessed anytime and could be grazed on whenever.

[Sonn]

Actually he an Walter ate separately except hay it was in a common area where both could get it. They couldn’t eat together since Pacey is a bit of a food hog and he would push Walter away from the bowl. So I started feeding them one in the pen one out of the pen.

But Pacey is home now vet showed me how to force feed if he doesn’t eat on his own. She suggested I start thinking about a new friend for Pacey if he doesn’t start to seem to be getting past this stage. I am worried about that prospect but ultimately I will do what is best for my Mr Bun. My friend can’t bring her bunny over due to work and living an hour away. So far he hasn’t eaten on his own. I am keeping everything very routine since I have been told that tends to help.

Guess all I can do is wait and help him through this.

[RabbitPam]

That’s so interesting, but scary, too.
What if you put the surrogate within sight of Pacey and his bowl, maybe with a food dish in front of the surrogate toy so it looks like it’s about to eat?
It is a major request to ask you to take on a second new bunny when you might not be ready for it yourself. You are grieving too, and you need to do what’s best for yourself as well.
{{{{{{{{{Turn the corner and eat, our sad Pacey}}}}}}}}}}}

[Sonn]

I thought of that as well but it didn’t work unfortunately. He is now being force fed which sucks he hates it and I hate doing it. But at least he is getting food in his belly. He seems extremely depressed. I mean when I would just take Walter to another room Pacey would throw a fit so it’s like he has went on the ultimate strike since Walter died.

I still refresh his food every morning and evening just in case he decides to eat.

I am giving him a little while longer to get past this before I take any huge steps like thinking about another bun. Main thing I am worried about is if I get one too soon thinking it will help him and everything is ok then Pacey gets past the grieving and then starts to resent the new rabbit. I have dealt with the passing of a pet and a new one introduced immediately for the sake of another animal so I am not too worried about me it’s difficult but I can grieve and love at the same time. I am mostly worried about Pacey and his reactions right now.

[jerseygirl]

Like RP, i find it interesting (but sad) also. Especially given Pacey was hand reared wasn’t he? I sort of thought he’d be more attached to the caregiver then another rabbit. Though, I think you’ve mentioned he was quite friendly with other rabbits he has met.
What about one of your dogs? Is there any he is particulary chummy with? Could you serve their food together so they’re in each others company?

In regards to being bonded with the caregiver, do you think Pacey would also be sensitive to your own sadness in losing Walter? I’m wondering if an outing might help. Like a picnic like you did for his birthday one time.

[Sonn]

Yes Pacey was hand reared. He loves other rabbits I have only seem him not get along with 1 rabbit but even then after an hour or so he was no longer aggressive toward him. He loves my dog Cocoa they often sleep together and she is his favorite to follow around but she is very food aggressive so I wouldn’t feel comfortable feeding him around her. I might try feeding him near my other dogs while they are eating.

That is a great idea! It is supposed to be warm in the next couple of days so I think we will take a trip to his favorite park!

[MimzMum]

That sounds wonderful! I hope you can try to take some pix of Pacey for us on your outing if you feel up to it. I didn’t know you’d taken him out to a park before.
More uplifting vibes for Pacey and you! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((vibes))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[Sonn]

If I can find my battery pack in my huge cluttery mess I will take some pics of him. He loves going to the park during the spring and early summer we go all the time when I take the dogs. I take him a kiddie pool or he tries to drag me to the lake water (he loves water). Obviously not this time since it won’t be THAT warm lol.

Hopefully this will help both he and I.

He is not happy with me right now every time I get done feeding him I get 2+ hours of bunny butt. So I know his sassy self is in there somewhere.

[MimzMum]

lolz…Gotta love the butt! ^_^
Fiver is that way right now, I have to give him this ucky medicine twice a day and he fights me the whole time I’m trying to get it in his mouth and afterwards he’s all bunched up and huffing and puffing and then BLAM! Bunny butt. And I love it because when he was ill, he wouldn’t do any of these things. It’s always a bit spooky when they actually ‘let’ you manipulate them in any way, i.e. lifting, holding allowing any contact that normally they’d shy from. That’s when I KNOW they aren’t feeling well.
Pacey takes his feedings and then gives attitude, so he is still trying.

I think I remember you mentioning a wading pool a while back. What are your temps like now? I saw a weather report claiming the arctic cold was still pushing way down south last week. Hopefully that’s resolved, because we’re back to -30 and -40 F here now.

[Sonn]

Pacey will find any excuse to give you the butt. Fed too early, fed too late, moved his litter box, turned a toy around, too much water in his dish, etc. lol.

That is how I knew something was very wrong with Walter when he let me pick him up without any kind of fight at all.

It has been in the upper 60’s here and on Thursday (when I plan to take him) it is supposed to be around 72F.

I love cold weather but there is no way I would willingly live anywhere that it gets -40 lol. TOO cold! The coldest I have been in was -15 and I couldn’t walk outside without not being able to breathe and that was in full snow gear.

[MimzMum]

I do like that we don’t have fleas or snakes up here though. *nods* lol…it’s a trade off.

I always thought I was not this much of a snow person…and I’m not. lol. Really, I do wish we could move, but it’s not going to happen. I miss some parts of California, like the sequoias and the beach. I despise having my eyeballs stuck to their lids in this kind of cold…and your breath comes out in a puff of smoke like a dragons’ getting your face all wet and then your nostrils freeze shut. x_x
I spend all the cold months thinking of summer. I fully plan on taking each bun outdoors in a super secure penned area of the yard to enjoy the gentle breezes, the sunshine and the swaying hayseed. They deserve it after this bitter winter.

[Sonn]

I have a huge pen setup thing for the warm days that Pacey likes to go out in. I have to keep on top of the flea treatments though since they are more than abundant here.

I am a snow person to an extent I love 1-2 feet but anything that makes it difficult for me to walk to my car I can do without.

[Sonn]

If everything goes as planned me and Pacey will be heading to the park tomorrow and maybe to the pet store for some new toys since he likes when other people coo over him there.

[MimzMum]

Aw, that should be fun for him. You’re lucky your bun enjoys outings like that, whenever I take mine to town it’s always to the vet, they don’t go in the store with me. They’d be terrified.
Yeah, we don’t really get that mile high snow anymore, well not mile high but you get the idea…but the ice. Ugh. That’s the caution. I’ve almost given myself a concussion a few times not watching my step. >.< Ow.

[Sonn]

All of my animals go to the pet store with me when I get out there (it is a little over an hour away). They don’t sell animals so they don’t mind bringing your pets in with you as long as they are well behaved.

We went to the park today and it went really well. Yeah he was still a little off but he was running around with my dogs and hanging out beside his favorite tree. I did bring my camera but dropped my memory card in the water as I was trying to change it for a bigger one which I ended up not having in my camera bag.

He didn’t want to hang out as long as he normally does and went into his carrier after about an hour. But he was a lot more perked up and picked out a duck hanging toy thing with jute ropes hanging off of it when we went to the pet store. He was actually more interested in the cardboard box it came in lol.

But as they say all good things must come to an end and when we got back home he was back to being extremely depressed. I really don’t know what else to do. A few rabbit friends suggested maybe I completely rearrange the rabbit room I am not sure if that would help or cause even more stress on him. At this point I am almost ready to try anything.

[lashkay]

I was thinking the same thing, as long as he perks – even for a while – when you take him to the park and petstore, I would continue these excursions. Back at home, it could be that it is the atmosphere of the “sick room” that is keeping him depressed to be in it. If you could move him to another room, you might want to disinfect the “sick room” and do a complete remodeling of it so it’s more or less foreign to him. And give him lots of loving in the room when it’s done. Short of getting him a new companion for that room, I can’t see an end to his depression as long as he remains in the “sick room” with its memory of Walter. When you’re up to it, and maybe after you continue and lengthen the excursions to the park and pet store, you might go for it.

[lashkay]

When a bunny isn’t eating, i’ve heard you can smear a banana or pellet slurry or Critical Care on his front paws, he will lick it off his paws. Just a thought.
HEALING VIBES to you and Pacey.

[jerseygirl]

<3 Pacey. Poor little fella! A switch up might be worth a try…
I’d be concerned also that it might stress him but already you’re force feeding him anyway. You could always put things back to the way they are if you feel it was more detrimental.
If anything, it might make him more curious and moving about more which would be a good thing.

[Monkeybun]

He can probably still smell him around. Maybe a full on cleaning would help him

[jerseygirl]

Oh, good point, the scent. As a precaution I would put something that carries both their scent aside for safe keeping. Just in case you need to reintroduce if if you found he doesn’t respond well to a deep clean.

[Sonn]

The room has been completely disinfected from ceiling to floor it is a habit when a pet passes away I completely disinfect everything. But I think I will try moving things around and see if that helps.

He is already on Critical Care won’t lick it himself even when smeared on a foot so he has to be force fed. I have been keeping Walter’s favorite box and Pacey carries around Walter’s favorite stuffed unicorn and kitten toy.

I just feel so bad for him. I am handling Walter’s passing well I have came to accept that it happened and nothing I do will bring him back and have started the healing process but my little bunny man can’t seem to get past his friend being gone.

Thinking about letting him go hang out with the shelter buns this weekend since he has always loved that. Or taking him over to my friends house and let him hang out with her bun and her new baby bun.

[Sonn]

Thank you all for the suggestions as well they are really helping both me and Pacey a lot.

[jerseygirl]

Pacey carries around Walter’s favorite stuffed unicorn and kitten toy.

Gosh, I’d be hard pressed to take those away…
Maybe he just is needing more time.

[Monkeybun]

I wouldn’t suggest hanging out with your friend’s buns too much. He is anxious for his friend, and may get too attached to your friend’s buns due to the grief.

Poor Pacey

[LittlePuffyTail]

Just catching up on this thread now…poor little guy. What about trying a foster rabbit for a week or so? Then you can see how it goes and not feel burdened with having to keep a rabbit he may not like.

[longhairmike]

Rini and Usako keep going over to where Buki’s cage was. I disassembled it first thing as soon as we got back from the vets. then i slid their cage halfway over into the empty space to leave some space for the box of their food. Usako definitely seems a bit down. Buki was like the cheerleader bunny that would always get the other two all rialed up and hyper. i guess Usako’s still handling it better than me. i started crying again suddenly when i was at the grocery store last night.

[Sonn]

I am not able to let him hang out with my friends rabbit too much since she lives so far away. But we took another trip to the park until it started to rain. He didn’t appreciate that too much lol.

Then we went to my friends house where he played with her rabbit. I didn’t let him interact with her new baby since he/she is still in “quarantine”. It such a cute baby! But my friend is doing everything backwards and I couldn’t stay long since we started arguing lol she is the one who taught me almost everything I know about rabbits and she is doing everything wrong! Like as soon as she got this tiny itty bitty 10 week old baby who weighs like less than a pound she put him/her in with her 20lb flemmie no bonding sessions nothing then was shocked when her boy laid on top of the baby! Gah but that is a whole other conversation. But at least she separated them after that.

He did good until we came home then it was back to sad bun. So I started moving everything around. It’s going to take a few days since there is a ton of stuff in the rabbit room. So we’ll see if that helps any.

LPT I am not sure if a foster would help or hinder the situation I thought about it but I am still unsure. I am thinking once he gets past this or if I see that he isn’t going to get better without a companion that I will try fostering or take Pacey on some bunnydates and then adopt.

[RabbitPam]

I would have doubts about the benefit of a foster, which implies a time when that bunny leaves also. More grief? I think when you are ready than taking him on dates and a full adoption for you to keep would be better for him. Just not until you are ready.

[Sonn]

Those were my fears as well. I am just going to give us more time before bringing another bun home. For now I am just going to continue the force feedings and hope he feels better soon.

[Sonn]

A small update on Pacey well a HUGE update. He took all of his Critical Care and a raspberry on his own throughout today! I was so happy I almost burst into tears.

[Monkeybun]

Yay!! Good boy Pacey!!

[MimzMum]

Oh this is such good news! ^_^ I’m so glad to hear it. We’ve been thinking about you both. I hope he’s turned the corner and is on the mend. Many snuggles for Pacey! ((((((((((((((((Pacey & Sonn)))))))))))))))))
I can imagine you are much relieved at this change in him. (((((((hugs))))))

[Sonn]

*do the happy dance* he ate some more critical care this morning and ate some hay all by himself no syringe or anything.

[Sonn]

Yes I am extremely relieved since even in this short time he was starting to lose weight quickly since he would only take a tiny bit of the critical care even with force feeding.

[peppypoo]

Yay for Pacey!! Keep getting better little guy!

[jerseygirl]

Make that a supersized

[Sonn]

=) he took a tiny bit of pellets about 10 minutes ago and a half a leaf of romaine but that is good enough for me!

[LittlePuffyTail]

Glad to hear it! Keep eating them noms, Pacey!!!

[Prashant]

This all gave a little peace ,,,, I lost my bunny cheeku 4 days back due to sickness and not getting help on time from a vet as vet here are not specializes in rabbits. Anyway ,so the other one named Kukku is doing the same ,,good part is he is eating but he got dehydration the same night Cheeku left. hes on medication n looks better but has lost the happiness ,,,he looks dull sits mostly on the mattress they used to share during grooming. I try to keep him with me and talk to him ,,he listens sits for some time then start nibbling me or anything which is in front of him ,,like hes angry or irritated. Any suggestions to deal with him and to help him coping up. Though our whole family is sad but we all talk to him time to time. Thanks in advance. one more thing I noticed him binkying the same day after we burried Cheeku ,later in the evening then running around the house and then sitting in the same direction from where Cheeku used to come and tease him and then they sit n groom each other. Rabbits are so special that I regret to take them home since I can’t understand their situation and have nearly none bet specially for them other than rabbit farms which far from my city.

[Bam]

Rabbits grieve too. What you can do is keep him near you so he doesn’t feel too lonely. Most bunnies cope well if they get enough attention from their humans, but a bond between rabbits can be very strong and the surviving bun can be very sad.

Is he drinking now? You mentioned dehydration.

I’m sorry for your loss of Cheeku.

This thread is old, and we like to encourage members to start new threads rather than piggy-backing on old threads. If you start a thread of your own, you’ll probably get more answers. You can start a new thread here: 

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