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The subject of intentional breeding or meat rabbits is prohibited. The answers provided on this board are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet.  It is your responsibility to assess the information being given and seek professional advice/second opinion from your veterinarian and/or qualified behaviorist.

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Forum THE LOUNGE Obnoxious, but funny – THE MAN RULES

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    • MimzMum
      Participant
      8029 posts Send Private Message

        Got this from my father in law. I’ve hesitated opening it, because I already have enough ammunition on my DH, but I have to admit, this was kinda cute…if you can get past the obnoxiousness of it all…lol.

        Too bad it’s all true! 0_0

        The Man Rules 
        At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

          FINALLY, the guys’ side of the story. 
        (I
         must admit, it’s pretty good.)
        We always HEAR”
        THE rules FROM the female side….

          Now here are the rules from the male side.    

         

         1.   Men are NOT mind readers. 
        (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

        2. Learn to work the toilet seat. 
        You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. 
        We need it up, you need it down. 
        You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 

        3. Sunday sports, It’s like the full moon OR the changing of the tides. 
        Let it be. 

        4. Crying is blackmail. 


        5. Ask for what you want. 
        Let us be clear on this one: 
        Subtle hints do not work! 
        Strong hints do not work! 
        Obvious hints do not work! 
        Just say it! 

        6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 

        7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. 
        Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 

        8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. 
        In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 

        9. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. 
        Don’t ask us. 

        10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the   other one 

        11. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. 
        Not both. 
        If you already know best how to do IT, just do it yourself. 

        12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials… 

        13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 

        14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. 
        Peach, for example, is a fruit, not 
        color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 

        15. If it itches, it will be scratched. 
        We do that. 

        16. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong. 
        We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle… 

        17. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear. 

        18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… REALLY. 

        19. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football OR Hockey. 

        20… You have enough clothes. 

        21. You have too many shoes. 

        22. I am in shape.   Round IS a shape! 

        23. Thank you for reading this. 
        Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; 

        But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping. 

        Pass this to as many men as you can - TO give them a laugh. 

        Pass this to as many women as you can -  

         to give them a bigger laugh.


      • Sarita
        Participant
        18851 posts Send Private Message

          LOL – how true!


        • LoveChaCha
          Participant
          6634 posts Send Private Message

            Wow

            Sometimes, even if you tell men what you want, they don’t sometimes get it!


          • alexa
            Participant
            169 posts Send Private Message

              I have heard #’s 5, 11 and 16 from my boyfriend. Ha ha.


            • LizzieKnittyBun
              Participant
              2147 posts Send Private Message

                Aw, Number 9 is brutal! lol


              • Barbie
                Participant
                1581 posts Send Private Message

                  Haha that’s funny! Thanks for sharing. 13,, 21, and 22 made me giggle


                • jerseygirl
                  Moderator
                  22338 posts Send Private Message

                    Oh, that’s funny!…The author actually thinks men make the rules. ha ha ha HA HA HA!

                    Actually, I contest #2
                    “2. Learn to work the toilet seat.
                    You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
                    We need it up, you need it down.
                    You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.”

                    Women need the seat down 100% of the time. Men only need it down approximately 25% of the time. Majority rules – leave it down. Oh, and the majority rule does not apply in a household where there is more males then females. Why? Because we (women) make the rules.


                  • LizzieKnittyBun
                    Participant
                    2147 posts Send Private Message

                      I’m with Jersey on this one… we *never* need the seat up! Plus, it just doesn’t look as nice…

                      Stan is so good about putting the seat down <3

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                  Forum THE LOUNGE Obnoxious, but funny – THE MAN RULES