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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > RAINBOW BRIDGE > I Can't Belive Her. Oh Wait, Yes I Can!!!
Last Post by MirBear at 9/13/2010 4:19 PM (41 Replies)
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User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 8:12 AM

my mom  wants me to get rid of hershey and twix. because were always arguing about them!! i hate her!!!!! she gets mad at me because im trying to be a responsable pet owner. and then wont let me talk when i try and make a point because she thinks she's always right!!!! like the cages she thinks well why would they sell them as bunny cages if they werent sutable housing for them? meanwhile twix is getting overweight because while im gone they over feed her and hershey is dead bored because they took the toys out of her cage and left them in the tiny cages for 2 weeks!!! my mom always says stuff to keep me quiet just so that down the road she can say no to it!! NIC condo's and keeping them in the base ment for example, she said we'd keep them in a spot in the basement on the concrete and once we were "settled in" then we'd go get nic grids and make condo's. now weve been living here for a month and a half and their never aloud in the hose and i cant make condo's for them. and i cant tell her any of this because whenever i bring it up she either tells me to "stop while im ahead" or just to "stop complaining or i'll get rid of them"    and i asked her to at least comprimise because ive given up alot with them and she said just the fact that you have them shows ive comprimised alot. its so unfair!!!!!! i cant deal with it anymore. i dont get along with her anyways but i need her permission to do everything and she uses it to her advantage to overall get what she wants.  this problem is alot deeper than just having the bunnies. if i did what she wanted and got rid of them then she'd find something else that she doesnt like. what kind of parent does this to their kid!?!?

My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline Sarita
(Dallas)
Forum Leader
17541 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 8:30 AM
Mirbear, I'm sorry you are dealing with this. I have to say however, you have always known your mom's feeling about the rabbits and she's been honest with you about it. It's impossible for us to know why your mom is doing this, but I'm sure she has her reasons. If money is an issue, it's probably because she has to put family first before the animals. Money matters alot, it really does and if it's a matter of paying rent and feeding the family, that comes first.

I know for you all of this doesn't seem fair. I know I felt this way many times about my parents but now that I'm older I understand why they made the decisions they did.

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 8:42 AM
it would be great if i could blame this on money but i can't unfortunatly because money at this time isnt a big issue. if she would just agree to it we do have the means to make condo's. and the whole thing of not wanting them in the house. it just annoys me. we had the perfect spot for them, they were out of the way, and there was a window right there for light or fresh air, but she ruined all that when she said they would never be allowed inside the house. ever. now that spot sits empty while my bunnies live in an un heated un aircondition garage in tiny store bought cages for the rest of their lives or untill i move out. oh or if she decides to enforce me getting rid of them. after she said they could live in the house and we'd make them condo's then went back on it all like she always does. thats how she got me to agree to moving into this stupid house. and i cant even talk to anyone abut it because i have no friends here and im not allowed to leave the property !!! im isolated, and the 2 friends i do have - my bunnies - she wont let me do whats best for them!!
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline Petzy
Northern AB Canada
Forum Leader
5938 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 1:57 PM
miranda, I feel what you are saying. It is so hard to accept a parent's wishes when those wishes are based on a different understanding of the subject matter. What concerns me in your post is that you say you can't get in a word to explain yourself. Seems your mother is preoccupied with other things and I'm sorry about that.
can you sort of schedule an audience with your mother, a set time where you are allowed to speak your mind? Then you could start by asking to make a condo in that garage even, it can be a neat setup for them. Or, ask for a temporary basement housing permit for the rabbits for your birthday to show her that it can work.
About not having friends... I used to do the Big Brothers and Sisters when I lived in ON and it is a great thing. You could think about trying it out! Your school can set it up for you: either you can get an older (adult) mentor to be matched with, or you could get a younger kid to meet with regularly to help them with stuff. You might meet really cool people.~
Photobucket "what happened? did something happen or can I just go back to my hay?"

User is Offline Sarita
(Dallas)
Forum Leader
17541 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 2:25 PM
I think Petzy's idea about Big Brothers and Sisters is a great idea. Petzy is there a website or a contact that you can give Mirbear? I highly recommend this for you.

I know your Mom has alot going on - it's hard at your age to understand her worries and concerns and I know she has many. I know she loves you too and she's looking out for you. Your Mom is really not your enemy, but I know it's hard for you to see this now. Hugs to you.

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 3:01 PM
lol let me clarify, i have friends but we just moved to a new place so at the moment i have no friends because everyone in my new area is like 60.
and my mom wont let me talk because she doesnt like talking about bunnies. :\
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline MissKris&Koji
285 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 7:22 PM
Well at least you have everyone here to talk to about the problems with the bunnies - I know calling your friends where you were living or getting it out here is not the same as getting to hang out with someone and vent. But I'm sure you know everyone here feels for you and wants you to have happy bunnies too.

They are, at least, safe it sounds like in the garage. Perhaps if you feel like she is trying to do this to get her way, you could try to compromise? Offer to do more around the house, or something to make her life better. If then maybe in exchange she would allow you to move them into the basement, or at least set up the cubes in the garage. Sometimes you have to take the high road and even when you feel you are right, go to somebody else and be humble and suggest a compromise. It can be frustrating, but at least more productive than a standoff like you are in now which is achieving nothing except to make you all more mad at each other.

My other suggestion is that maybe you should ask her to explain her feelings and why she does not want to do the things she said she would. Again, you would have to take the high road here, even if you feel you are in the right. Perhaps if you understood what her hesitation is, you would have a better chance of coming up with a solution.

I don't think it sounds like you are being unreasonable when you try to talk to her, but it is really hard to know how it may seem to her. She may just be stressed out right now because of the move or totally unrelated things, so before you go blaming her I would try to find out what the cause is here. Parents often keep things that are bothering them from their family, so maybe money is an issue, or maybe it is something else. We are all just human and none of us are perfect, so I would suggest trying to give her a chance and negotiate. Even if you don't get an improvement in the bunnies situation, it may make both of you feel better.

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/15/2010 7:43 PM
she said she had comprimised with me by even letting me have them. so unfortunatly that didnt wwork. she thinks the bunnies are unsanitary apperently. so that the reason she wont have them in her "new house"
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline Sarita
(Dallas)
Forum Leader
17541 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 2:35 AM
Well if she feels they are unsanitary perhaps you need to clean their cage more often.

Honestly, it does sound like she has compromised by letting you haven them and it's up to you to make sure that you keep your end of the bargain.

If it were me, I would clean their cages every single day and then once a week do a very thorough cleaning. I totally understand that your mom wants to keep the new place fresh and clean - nothing wrong with that.

I have 5 rabbits and I clean their areas twice a day by vacuuming their area and giving them fresh water. I probably don't change their litter as often, every 4 days as I would for one or two rabbits if I only had that many.

User is Offline Beka27
Cleveland, Ohio (USA)
Forum Leader
15630 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 5:25 AM
I'm sorry you are not seeing eye-to-eye with your mom. Unfortunately, sometimes these things happen, and as the adult, she does have the final say. Living in a garage, for the most part, they are still protected from the elements, and I know you take very good care of them, so they do have it much better than many rabbits. This may just be the best you can do for them at this point.
Meadow..... Photobucket ...... Max, my angel bunny

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 11:58 AM
they get cleaned 1-2 times a day (if i clean them in the morning and their cages are dirty by dark i clean them again (twix -.-)
thanks beka, and thank you to everyone who's replied.. i have a bit more perspective on it now than i did yesterday, thank you.
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline Otti
536 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 12:21 PM
Hi,

I've never posted before, even though I'm planning a post to introduce my new bunny soon, but i had an idea I thought might help you.

Maybe you could think of something that you could 'trade' in return for your mother being more understanding or compromising even more with regards to where the bunnies are kept.

I'm not sure what your grade situation is, or whether you already do chores at home or are of an age to have a job like babysitting. However, maybe if you bargained with her that you could bring the bunnies inside or at least make condos for them in the garage if you finish the school year with a certain GPA or something, or instead say that you'll do certain chores in return for better housing for your pets, she might be more open to considering that.

You could even put it all down in a 'contract' lol seems kind of funny but I actually did this with my father when I was in middle school. I really wanted parrots and I made a contract with him that if I behaved all summer he would get some for me.

hope you find a way to communicate better with your mom!

User is Offline jerseygirl
Australia
14656 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 4:20 PM
Mirbear, would your Mum be supportive of you doing some casual work where you live now? You could have an independant income to do the things you want for the pets. In a new place there may be new opportunities for work and it's a good way to meet new people too.

User is Offline Petzy
Northern AB Canada
Forum Leader
5938 posts Send Private Message
8/16/2010 6:40 PM

Well, Mirbear, I'm glad to hear you are already feeling better! But I had thought of the Big Brothers not just to make friends, but to also get you involved in something in your new area ~ If you ever feel you want to try it here's their site.

www.bbbskw.org/en/Home/default.aspx

Photobucket "what happened? did something happen or can I just go back to my hay?"

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 8:50 AM
im not nessisarily concened about involements and such quite yet, im amazing at making friends and getting involed and only 2 weeks untill i start school, but i will deffinatly keep that in mind
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?

User is Offline Petzy
Northern AB Canada
Forum Leader
5938 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 9:10 AM
I understand. I have no doubt that an outgoing person such as yourself would easily make friends! Keep in mind, though, that sometimes, parents like to see things like involvement in stuff... it will score you high on the maturity chart
Photobucket "what happened? did something happen or can I just go back to my hay?"

User is Offline Lintini
Bay Area, California
3336 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 3:33 PM
I am glad things are getting better for you, I know this is so hard on you. Everyone here has said many things that could work and are very supportive, I hope things work out for the best and you get to make those condos inside! I used to post on the guinea pig forums, they started groups about womens health and my mom was going through menopause and omg we were fighting everyday over the most stupid things and didn't get along at all. It was TERRIBLE. She didn't speak to me for 2 weeks when I spent the day with my dad's parents that just moved from hawaii that DAY over her mom and dad from only 3 hours away. 2 entire weeks. Even my boss at work was calling me to check on me because I was such a stressed out mess. My mom has come around to the rabbits, my dad has not. I really do understand how hard it is and I just hope you get through it okay! I am sure you are nervous about your new school but excited too! When I first meet new people I ask them if they have pets and then work my way into telling them about my bunnies! Just hang on, things will get better! *hugs*
Photobucket

User is Offline mocha200
4512 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 3:50 PM
i can understand how hard it is, for i am constantly telling my mom why they should be inside. and i would say about once a month my mom gets really mad about the rabbits and they are extremely close to being put out side. i know how hard this can be and overwhelming.

don't give up!
Photobucket

User is Offline Kyoshi
265 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 4:16 PM
Can i suggest rent? Tell you mother that in excange for 1 week of bunnies in the house you will do 3 extra chores. Or, try to get your mom to bond a bit with the buns (Crazy I know, but hey, might work!). Dont get on her nerves. You might end up going to college and your mom getting rid of the buns altogether. I know its frustrating (My Parents are NOT animal fans) and my moms the same way. She wants me to put my guineas in my closet, or sell one of them. Everytime she offers a problem i give a solution, then, guess what, another problem! Ugh. I wish you the best of luck.

User is Offline MirBear
Kitchener, Ont. Ca.
1418 posts Send Private Message
8/17/2010 5:50 PM
Lintini, my mom JUST started menopause, like in the last few months :\ and we never got along to begin with, so things have been EXTREAMLY difficult.
as for a new school im not nervouse lol i dont mind the change.
My Siamese Sweethearts, Hershey & Twix........... <3 And In My Attempted Un-selfish Thoughts I Find Myself Thinking... If This Is The Best I Can Do With Just My Thoughts, Than What Is The Best That Can Be Done By Someone Who Has Not Only my Thoughts But The Chance To Make Them A Reality?
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