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The subject of intentional breeding or meat rabbits is prohibited. The answers provided on this board are for general guideline purposes only. The information is not intended to diagnose or treat your pet.  It is your responsibility to assess the information being given and seek professional advice/second opinion from your veterinarian and/or qualified behaviorist.

BINKYBUNNY FORUMS

Forum THE LOUNGE Can’t sleep- bad night

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    • Lintini
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        I’m having a rough night. I can’t stop thinking about my grandma and how much i miss her. All my mascara is burning my eyes from crying. I hate nights when I do this to myself. I hate missing her so bad. I found this poem back when she passed away to try to help myself. It’s exactly how I feel. I wish I didn’t have these emotional mood swings. I need someone to hug me.

        In my rose garden of memories, I see you standing there.An angel in disguise who taught me how to care. I long to hear your voice, for real- not in my dreams. I am missing you so much these days, how empty my world seems. People say time heals all wounds, that someday the pain will subside, but Grandma I can tell you, I think they must have lied. The emptiness I am feeling now, is so strong and I am weak. These days go by without you, so dreary and so bleak. In my rose garden of memories, I know you’ll always be. For through you’re gone, from the mortal world, In my heart you’ll always be.

        I love you Grandma Donita. I miss you so much.

         

         

        Indy just came out of his cage and came over to me, he looked concerned. Maybe I’m over-analyzing it because of my emotions and he just wants a raisin. So i pet him, he returns some licks. I started thinking a few days ago, that maybe he could be some sort of angel sent to me from my grandma. I’ve never been very spiritual, or big on church, but I was in a weird mindset and thinking maybe it could be. Then he tried eating my phone charger right now and I changed my mind. My grandma wouldn’t give me a suicidal pet. I let him run around my room now all the time, I wake up to him everymorning licking me and he sleeps on the pillow next to me, I couldn’t help have my mind wander off and think maybe my grandma sent him to me. This is the time where I feel like I need a drink, then I won’t wake up till 3pm, and my day is wasted and i feel terrible all day. I haven’t done this to myself for over a week now, maybe 2 weeks, I don’t remember when my last melt down was.  God I am such a mess.


      • jerseygirl
        Moderator
        22338 posts Send Private Message

          Hi Lindsey – I’m online if you still are…and want to talk. Sending virtual (((Hugs))) to you.


        • Lintini
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            Yea I’m still floating around, I think I’m tired now. Finally. Thanks for the hug


          • Lintini
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              At least my bunnies gave me some calmness to my night/morning. Poor bun was grouchy I tried to pat her in HER cage. Heaven forbid. I get growled at by her, Sigh. I go crying to Indy, he’s so cute and loves pets and kisses me back. What two polar opposite Buns I have. siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. eyes burn. Oh look. there is a dog show on animal planet right now.


            • jerseygirl
              Moderator
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                haha – are you sure you’re turning in?! Well – doggies are a good distraction. Turn the mind to better things.
                OT, I kept thinking of you tonight here. I went to see my 6 yr old neice in a dance concert and there was one of the older dancers (maybe 17/18?) that reminded me of you! That is from the pics you’ve posted on BB before. Just thought I’d mention it…

                Edit: looks like you’re offline so sleep well Hon.  Hope tomorrow is a brighter day for you.


              • Beka27
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                  :o( I’m so sorry. I really am. I can’t say much b/c I don’t know how you’re feeling exactly, but my thoughts are with you. Hugs.


                • Lintini
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                    Thanks guys, was nice to read before I go to work. *hugs*


                  • Sarita
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                      Hugs to you! I know sometimes around the holidays we miss our loved ones who are no longer with us too. So that could be why you are so emotional right now. It’s good to cry too.


                    • Barbie
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                        Hey Lintini. Hope you’re doing at least a bit better today. My thoughts (and Leroy’s!) are with you! ((((Hugs!))))


                      • MimzMum
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                          Sarita makes a good point, this time of year we all miss the ones we love who have gone before us and wish they were back with us again. Both my parents have passed away, my birth parents are still alive, but I don’t hear from or see either of them that much. Except for my husband and children, I really have no extended family on my side. I’m pretty sure that if not for them, I would definitely feel down during holidays.

                          I’ve taken a long time to post what comes next, and I pray with all my heart that it will help.
                          Here is a memory I’d like to share with you, I hope it will allow you feel like someone else out here can empathize with you.
                          I had meant to tell you, when you posted your grandma’s picture a while back, and discussed your last meeting with her, that she reminded me of my own mom. I was adopted by my grandfather and his second wife, and she had quite a few photos of her from the 40’s that she wore much the same clothing as your grandma, was the same kind of stately looking woman, and it took me back to what kind of person she was and how much I cared for her even though most times we fought like cat and dog. I was actually oddly stoic when she passed back in 1981. It had been a week after my 18th birthday, and she had been suffering from pancreatic cancer for 6 months, a fact I had only just learned about a month earlier, my dad thought it best not to mention it to me at the time. Ironically, when he told me was the first time I’d heard I’d been adopted as well, I’d grown up thinking they were both my biological parents (even though they were much older than my friends’ folks.)
                          But I digress…I, too, had a day where I was not recognized by my mother. She thought I was HER mom, and began to cry and tell me she was in pain and was afraid to die. (She was on a lot of painkillers at the time, but it still hurt me that she wasn’t seeing me.) I flipped out and that’s when I went to tell my dad that I thought she was more than just sick with gall bladder surgery complications and that’s when the truth came out. (I wasn’t exactly clueless, but you believe what your folks tell you, what can I say?) Still, it was devastating, and yet explained so much more than just the illness. And when she did cross over, I was glad she wasn’t hurting like that anymore, because nothing would have made me wish that back for her.

                          And in the aftermath of all this, I got a bit reckless with my life and have regretted doing so ever since, as I made some terrible choices. And it took me a long time to finally come to grips with the fact that I was ignoring my mourning of my mom. I just kept shoving it away with other things. I would have dreams that she wasn’t really gone, that she’d been hidden away somewhere I couldn’t see her, but still alive. It was torture for me to wake up and realize the whole thing over again.

                          What I’m trying to say is, grief takes a long time. Especially when we want the person back so bad, we’d rather not accept that life continues regardless of our feelings. I know you said you’re not religious, but in my experience, there is no doubt that the loved ones we have lost to this plane of existence are waiting for us in the Hereafter. Perhaps Indy WAS sent to you by your Grandma, not to chew up your electronics, but to help keep your mind on the here and now, which is, I’m sure, what your Gran would want you to enjoy, right? It does neither us, nor our departed, any honor or good in allowing the water to cover our heads and sink into the deep.
                          Yes it is good to accept your grief. Yes it is good to also put your grief aside and do something other than grieve. And furthermore, IT IS OKAY. I had many years of ‘sudden meltdowns’ after my mom passed away, and with each one, I learned to feel the pain a little less, and think of the good things about my mom’s and my life together a little more. I can discuss her now without becoming a blubbering mess. But it’s been 28 years. I’m not saying it will take you that long, it didn’t for me…but this is a challenge to recover from.
                          You can see that already you know you don’t want to do the things that cause you to lose precious time. That in itself I see as a big step from where you have been. That is very good. Keep that in mind every time you feel the need to give in to the blues. Bit by bit, you will begin to see light where the darkness used to be.

                          And you have a family here. We all care about you and want things to be better for you. (((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) Hold on tight. It does get better.
                          Oh, and try not to take Bun’s rabbittude too seriously. I love Mimzy to pieces and STILL after two and a half years, can’t put my hand in his cage even for a pet without getting the nip, the grunt, or at the very least, the bunny butt. ~_~ It’s their JOB.


                        • Lintini
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                            Thank you Sarita, Barbie and Leroy! Today I had an 8 hour shift, so it kept my mind clear of missing her. I think I get really sleepy at night, but I can’t sleep? If that makes, and my mind wanders into bad places about missing her.

                            Mimz – Thank you for sharing your story with me, I do know I am not alone, many people struggle with grief and I thank you all for listening and putting up with me. Your story is very moving, thank you so much. I don’t really have people to share this with, I think my problem is, that I feel like I am a problem and I don’t want to bother people with it. My family acts like nothing is wrong, but my connection with her was so strong, I feel like my heart was ripped out.

                            You know, when I was there once in hawaii for a summer, I was stung by a jellyfish. They lived a 1min walk from the beach and I walked home crying so hard, and it was raining! It was terrible, so much pain from that stupid jelly….anyways…I swear to you she was at the door ready with some medicine to put on it. She could make everything right. I also remember I took my papa to buy her new makeup 2 years ago when I was last in Hawaii with them, and I picked out 200$ worth of stuff. It was so fun having her try it all on, it was like playing dress up in my 20’s hehe. She also loved my strawberry daiquiris, she never did stop bragging about them. Sigh. It was also their 50th aniversary last time i was in hawaii with them. we went out to dinner at a fancy place, and i surprised them with a cheese cake that said, “happy 50th bob and donita” They were so shocked, like it was some huge thing i surprised them with. And papa bought her the most gorgeous and biggest diamond earring/necklace set I have ever seen. Grandma also had all the most beautiful jewlrey. That’s something I’ll never forget.


                          • Monkeybun
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                              It’s good to remember the good times like that, it keeps their memory alive, and keeps them with you always

                              *hugs*


                            • Kokaneeandkahlua
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                                AWww I agree it’s good to cry *HUGS*

                                Its been a while since my Nanna passed and I really miss her around Christmas-it was her favorite time of year. I think she’d be proud of the tree I put up

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                            Forum THE LOUNGE Can’t sleep- bad night