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Forum THE LOUNGE Update on babies

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    • SophieBun
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        I went to the humane society yesterday to check out my babies and they put them all together! I mean can’t they have babies already at 12 weeks??!! and why did they put them together? =S and they put all boys names to them and it’s 1 boy and three girls! Gosh I was so mad!! I didn’t know what to do so I came here to ask you guys, tha’ts not right isn’t it??? and Idk if they’ll listen to me since I lost my rights to them what should I do??? Thank you


      • Monkeybun
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          Oh no! I am so sorry Giuly

          What I’m going to suggest is give it a couple days, don’t decide now what to do, give it a couple days to go over your options. Go snuggle with your furbabies for now, and know that no matter what happens, they love you. *snuggles from monkey*


        • mrmac
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            I am so sorry to hear about all that you’re dealing with! I agree with Monkeybun, don’t decide now. Nothing will be accomplished in a night or even a few days. If it helps make a list of all your options, and pro’s and con’s of each one (I am a list person). I know how hard it is to still want him and begging seems like all you can do to hold on, but things will get better and make more sense as time goes on. Go hug your bunnies and your pups and indulge youself in something. Something yummy, or a special “you” time. Have some time to relax, and not let your mind wander and worry about everything else. (((Hugs)))


          • Barbie
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              Oh Giuly, I can feel your pain through your words. I’m so sorry to hear about everything you’re going through. Mrmac and Monkeybun gave you some good advice… I say ice cream and a good movie and snuggles w your furbabies! You’re such a great person, so I’m sure you have lots of close friends to help you through this, but if you ever need a sounding board or want to just talk through anything, PM me and I’ll give you my email or phone number. I’m with Mrmac… making a list or writing in a diary always helps me sort though things, so when you have some time, not now, but after you’ve relaxed a bit, come back and reassess everything. And just know we’re all here for you! (((hugs!)))


            • BinkyBunny
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                Awe….I am so sorry. How very painful. It has nothing to do with being dignified. This is one of the hardest things anyone can go through and so of course you are going to feel this way.I know marriage counseling isn’t for everyone, but maybe it’s worth a try if you are both open to it?

                You have every right to feel so sad and empty. That would be the absolute normal reaction so don’t be even harder on yourself for feeling this way. Allow yourself to feel this even though you don’t want to. Someone in my family went through this and no matter what happens – whichever direction it takes, know you will get through this. Allow yourself to feel the pain, but get rest and don’t make any rash decisions at this point. I agree with what the others have said, take a little time, get rest as much as you can, and take care of yourself and seek counseling if you need extra guidance if you don’t have a strong support system.

                HUGS!!!!!!


              • jerseygirl
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                  Giuly, I’m so sorry to hear this. Wish I could give you a real hug instead of virtual one. *Hugs* all the same…
                  May I  suggest you don’t project to far forward right now? Just feel what you need to and then solutions to the way forward may be clearer soon. Just focus on the next hour, day, week. I know that would be terribly hard. I agree with BB, counselling for just yourself or you both would be really wise. You haven’t been a member on the forums that long but you’ve been such a vibrant, beautiful spirit and i feel you give alot of yourself here and in life. Please look after yourself! We are here for you. I’m likely to be online during your nights there so if you need to talk during those hours, msg me here. *Hugs* again.


                • Karla
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                    So sorry to read this. I can imagine how you feel. I agree with the rest – please give yourself some time to rest before deciding what to do. Right now you are not in a position to make rational decisions because of the pain. Take one day at a time – and perhaps your parents will let you take the dog and the bunnies with you if you move in for a while.

                    Just remember – after the rain, the sun always comes. It really does. It doesn’t feel like it at all while you are in the middle of it, but one day you look back and it doesn’t hurt anymore and you are happy again.

                    We are all here for you, so just write when you feel the need.


                  • RabbitPam
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                      Giuly,
                      I am so sorry. That is one of the worst kinds of pain to go through.

                      BB and Jerseygirl said what I am thinking, and that is to take is one day at a time and get counseling help. This is what it’s for, and is totally focused on crisis management and getting what YOU need ASAP.

                      I would not even think about moving. If anyone changes your living situation, it is your husband who finds somewhere else to go. You may lose him, but not your home, jobs, furbabies, or daily routines. If he wants to try a separation, he needs to be the one to make other arrangements.
                      I agree that a marriage counselor is a good idea right now. You can both see one whether you are in the same home or living separately, so you can work on your marriage if you want to. But right now you’re in pain so think about getting support for just yourself immediately.


                    • Monkeybun
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                        I also suggest calling up a couple of your best girl friends, and having a girls night, with ice cream, chick flicks, and no men allowed! Worked great for me

                        *more hugs and snuggles* We’re here for ya!


                      • TARM
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                          I’m so, so sorry. I’ve been through this twice and it was hard both times. The first time I didn’t get counseling. The second time I did and the second time was much easier to get through. I absolutely advise going to a therapist to help you get your head on straight. I know it doesn’t seem like it now but once you have time to heal you will be so much happier. You won’t miss the negative energy at all and you’ll think every now and then about how you could have been happier sooner had you walked away before now.

                          I know this is scary but you’ll get through it. You’ll figure out a way to keep your animals. Trust me, all you have to do is want it badly enough. I managed to make a better life for myself, my daughters, and 11 animals despite feeling hopeless in the very beginning.

                          Good luck to you and just remember, it hurts now but in the future you’ll look back and realize that this is a good thing. The person you will become is going to be someone you will be proud of and it will make you stronger.


                        • charliesmom
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                            I’m so sorry! I know I haven’t been a part of this forum for long but I know that everyone here is pulling for you. Know that we are all thinking of you and sending you our best.


                          • Deleted User
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                              Giuly, I’m so sorry that you’re hurting like this. I would focus inward into yourself. You have a big heart. I know just from reading your postings. You’ve taken care of Sophie’s kits without ever wavering and the fact that you can love some one who is so cruel to you is because you are very strong. Don’t get caught up in worries over what to do. Take it day by day. Your animals are your family now in the first place and they need you. They feel if you’re stressed. You will find a way for yourself and them. I agree with Rabbitpam, it’s your home where you are.


                            • bunnytowne
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                                Oh no Guily I am so sorry.   Thats terrible.   I know here have been thru this.   I have.   It was like a surprise.  He waited til I got my 2nd big lump sum and spent it to tell me.  We had grown apart I knew but to split somehow  ouch. 

                                At first I called a lot and I wanted to hear if he wanted me back.  Finally after some months he said get on with your life remarry whatever move on. 

                                Yes it feels like your heart is ripped out once it is really happening.  I cried a lot.  It was scary.  Someone told me that God wanted to send me someone special but that Brian was in the way.   God had to remove Brian to bring me the good he wanted me to have.

                                It is a hollow empty lost despairing feeling.  Take it easy on yourself.   Please.  You will get thru this.  We are here for you.  Unfortunately I have to use library comp now but I want to be there for you too. 

                                It is ok to cry and feel the way you feel.  It hurts dreadfully bad. One day at a time.   Even one hour at a time.  If necessary. 


                              • Kokaneeandkahlua
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                                  Oh Guily!!!  Big hugs from all my bunny crew.

                                   

                                  I remember my first heartbreak. It was worst in the morning-I would wake up thinking it was all a dream and everything would come flooding back to me

                                  Just go slow. Don’t rush ahead and let your mind race like a ferrari. (easier said then done-I know). I would REALLY suggest relaxing distractions for the time being-like bike riding or yoga or something along those lines. Give yourself peaceful time to think. Take baths-or long hot showers (I’m big on crying in showers&#160

                                  And physical exercise will help you get some anger out -when it comes time to be angry-kick boxing or something along those lines would help a lot.

                                  And call in your favors! Every friend you’ve helped through heartbreak or other troubles-even if you haven’t talked in a while-call them and tell them you need them, need their support. Get out of the house and go for coffee with a girlfriend.

                                  Support from others is really going to help you. We’re here for you, rally up your friends and family, and cuddle with your fur babies

                                  Keep us posted-we’re here !!

                                   


                                • jerseygirl
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                                    I do want to ditto RabbitPam on your home. My friends marriage ended just 8 months after the wedding. Her husband decided he didn’t want to be married anymore. She spent weeks there afterward pretty well living from the spare bedroom until she found somewhere else to live. He remains in their house until the new owners move in. This bothered me soooo much. He was the one who wanted out of the relationship then he should have been the one who moved out. Grrrr.


                                  • Kafrn
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                                      Oh Guily ****Hugs from all our bunny crew****
                                      Im sorry to hear about this! I agree with K&K, take things slow, and sort this through at your own pace. No hurry to move! One day at a time. I agree with jersey and Rabbit pam also. dont you worry about living arrangements. He can make arrangements for his future now. Let him organise where he goes. No reason for you to move straight away.
                                      If you need to talk, like Jersey, I am online while you are in night time also. You’re not alone!!! We are all here for you!!! xxxxxxxx


                                    • MimzMum
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                                        Giuly, I cannot possibly give any better advice than that which you have already seen here except to encourage you, don’t give up!! People sometimes do dreadful things to us even though it seemed they were kind to us in a previous time. Sometimes things change, but I believe all changes are orchestrated by One who has our best interests at heart, even though it may not seem like it at the time. (like what bunnytowne said)

                                        Continue to live as you have been, keep your furbabies close to your heart; here are those that love you unconditionally and will never judge you for any reason. They give you purpose to have someone to care for who (in my experience) are always happy to see you and never complain about your cooking. Plus it just feels so good to have those loving eyes and hearts to turn to in times of sadness and I think it gives them joy to know you need them. In this way you support each other.

                                        I will echo what others have already said…we are here for you. If you need to PM me, I check the board at least once a day. My shoulder is available. Hang in there!


                                      • Lintini
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                                          Giuly..I am so so sorry to hear this. I send you tons of hugs, big huge tight ones that make you feel better Snuggle up your babies and be strong through this. I am always here to talk. In situations like this, I would go to your family for support and they will help you through this with their love for you. I will be thinking of you. {{{BEAR HUG}}}


                                        • RabbitPam
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                                          • LittlePuffyTail
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                                              {{{{{Big Hugs to you}}}} I’m so sorry to hear about your heartache and troubles.

                                              I’ve been through difficult time with my bf when it looked like it might end but the sun WILL come out for you again, whatever you both decide. You just have to push yourself through the rough times. I echo all of K&K’s suggestions: Do things that will raise your spirit. The best thing I can do for myself when I’m down and crying is go for a walk in the woods. Nothing is uplifting like the beauty of nature.

                                              We are all here for you!


                                            • feeona
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                                                im praying for you


                                              • Monkeybun
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                                                  Giuly hun, where are ya? Let us know how you’re doing. *hugs*


                                                • Sage Cat
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                                                    Hey Gily, Sending you lots of bunny kisses.

                                                    Only one thing in my life has been harder than my divorce – and that was loosing my dad. I went into a deep depression (I lost 20 pounds in 1 month, I had panic attacks for a few months) Luckily, I was in counseling and the people I worked with helped me a lot -they made me eat.

                                                    Since I live in Colorado & my family is in Texas – My pets really got me through! When you have dogs you have to take them for walks. My cat was always close by – I did not have bunnies at that time.

                                                    And when you feel lonely – you can post here on BB!

                                                    7 years later – I have a fantastic 2nd husband & a better life than ever before.


                                                  • babybunsmum
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                                                      giuly, i’m so so sorry you’re in so much pain. this really sucks. i hope you’re reading/checking in on this thread even if you do not feel like posting right now. i think its so fabulous that you reached out on this forum. you’ve gotten some very sound advice here and even more importantly it shows how strong you are. even though you’re in pain you are still reaching out.

                                                      remember that there is more help out there if you need it too. counselors, hotlines, drop-in clinics as so forth. suggesting this may sound dramatic BUT sometimes it can be easier to reach out to complete strangers anonymously. i did this several times while dealing with my father’s terminal illness when my head was spinning and i just couldnt think of my next step. just a thought.

                                                      (((((((((big big hugs)))))))))


                                                    • Kafrn
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                                                        We miss you Giuly!!!! (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))


                                                      • Monkeybun
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                                                          Kafrn REALLY misses you, by the looks of it!


                                                        • Kafrn
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                                                            OMG I dindt mean to post that so many times! My finger had a bit of a seizure on the mouse button and it posted 4 times!!!


                                                          • SophieBun
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                                                              First of all..I was just crying and I’m so depressed..so I finally got in here because all I’ve been doing is thinking way too much and crying and didn’t have the strength to do anything..I think I look like a monster with my big red eyes and Rudolph with my red nose…and as I was reading the posts on here (THANK YOU SO MUCH ) I see Kafrn’s last posts saying Giuly we miss you, and then Monkey saying sure Kafrn misses you a lot, and then Kafrn saying it posted so many times she didn’t know, I couldn’t stop laughing..gosh i haven’t laughed in a while now…so thank you

                                                               

                                                              Now to the sad news…my husband and I fought again (Monday night) and I ended up leaving in the middle of the night crying my eyes out with some of my clothes and him crying too..my best friend went to pick me up and left me at my sister’s apartment for the night. After that I came to my parents’ house and we are definitely separated. He wants us to have time to ourselves to grow up, mature, achieve our goals..and even though it’s hard to admit, it’s like he said, I was his anchor and he was mine. We haven’t been getting along in a while, but I never thought it would come to this..it’s just too weird. I have such emptiness inside and a feeling of great loss. He has to keep my two yorkies and Sophie for now because my parents won’t let me keep them here..at least for now. He loves them and he’s takind great care of them, but I miss them way too much. They are my happiness in the mornings when they wake me up licking my face and bringing me their toys. And when I open my door Sophie comes rushing in the room wanting to eat the dogs’ food and the babies running right behind her…not anymore It’s so hard not having them with me. And because of this situation I can’t keep Marble and I’m devastated, I love her so much and she’s so big and snuggly, she is the best flopper in the world I think..anywhere she is she just flops..so I went to the Humane Society near here yesterday and checked it out and talked to everyone and saw the bunnies. They take awesome care of them and give them hay, veggies and pellets. They charge $20 and screen the potential bunny slaves, they told me that if they don’t like the people wanting to adopt they don’t give them away (*sigh of relief*) and they make them fill out an application also. And they have to sign a contract that if they don’t want the bunny anymore for some reason, they have to give it back to the Humane Society. I also asked if they ever put them to sleep for not being adopted. Thank God they said no. Only if they are vicious and bite people…I told her bunnies bite but they’re not aggressive. I know I worry too much, but my babies are adorable and well behaved…well not now that they’re chewing the whole apartment off but because they are babies and exploring..she also said that they spay and neuter them and I’m so scared because once I give them up I can’t know how their operations went or anything or if they were adopted..they won’t tell me anything..I said if I could visit and they said no cause then they would get attached to me and they would be sad when I’m gone. But I can still visit and see them from far away from the cages to see how they’re doing I guess….Guys I have a question and since you are all bunny lovers and experts you might know what to do…since my buns all love being together and sleeping together I think it would be so cruel to all of a sudden be in a cage alone in new territory…I don’t want them to suffer…should I keep them in two pairs? and tell them that they are bonded? so that they aren’t as sad I don’t know what’s best for them in that situation. The only thing that comforts me is that when I have my place I will go bunny dating and let Sophie find her perfect mate because I really loved her with Marble. Gosh this is all too hard..losing so much all together I just pray that they’re going to have great caring homes and loyal bunny slaves for life. I don’t know what else to say other than I still don’t know what to do with my life and I had to quit both of my jobs because I live so far from them now…. I’m way too sad


                                                            • Deleted User
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                                                                Posted By Giuly&Sophie on 11/26/2009 12:23 PM

                                                                (…) haven’t laughed in a while now…so thank you

                                                                 

                                                                Now to the sad news(…) we are definitely separated.

                                                                (…)should I keep them in two pairs? and tell them that they are bonded?

                                                                I’m way too sad

                                                                 

                                                                Giuly! I am glad you posted because your silence/absence was making us worried (not just kafrn)!

                                                                Do you feel calmer for being separated rather than fighting? I hope you do. I am sure once you get your dogs with you again, you wll be smiling again. Your dogs seem so sweet! It is really good that they are well taken care of in the meantime, though!

                                                                Well, about your question… you mean to say that the babies are bonded 2 and 2? I wouldn’t if it was me because their hormones will make them fight sooner or later and a cage is the worst place for two hormonal rabbits. They can’t get away from each other then and risk serious injuries. They will be housed close to one another, won’t they? So they would be able to sense each other’s presence.

                                                                Who knows, Giuly, maybe you will take Sophie bunny-dating sooner than you think, and one of her babies will still be there for you waiting! You never know.


                                                              • SophieBun
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                                                                  I am overly sad…I have to go to a family thanksgiving dinner and I just can’t bear the thought of not spending it with him….how to erase this horrible feeling inside of me? I don’t even want to go..I’d rather stay here crying


                                                                • Kafrn
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                                                                    Giuly, thank you for posting. Its great to hear from you. I am sorry to hear about your seperation, and that you had to leave Sophie and the babies and the yorkies though. But its good that you know they are being looked after really well I know how you feel about having to find new homes for the babies… But it sounds like a great humane society! The fact that they have to sign a contract so that all bunnies return there is great! And their food sounds good too! Im sure the babies will be very happy there until they find a loving home! Its good to hear that they screen all potential buyers too!
                                                                    We dont have thanksgiving here in Australia, but I think its meant to be a family time, isn’t it? You need to get out of the house and go and spend it with your family! The Empty feeling inside is completely normal, and will fade in time. But who knows, you could just need some time apart so that you can grow together! But while you are having time apart, you could maybe focus on some of the things you have always wanted to do! I know you said you wanted to travel! you could come to Australia and have a wonderful holiday to clear your head and by the time you go back, you may be ready to sort things out!

                                                                    It feels good to have a big cry sometimes, but dude, get out there and keep busy! Experience as much as you can, and it will help you to see things clearer at the other end of the tunnel It will get better with time, and if you keep busy, time flies *********Big hugs.********


                                                                  • Kafrn
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                                                                      How many times can I say “time” in one paragraph?!?!?! Geez. And I only clicked the mouse button once! A-ha!


                                                                    • Furface
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                                                                        Giuly, I’m so sorry that you are going through this. It must be so difficult. Things will get better.


                                                                      • Monkeybun
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                                                                          *hugs for Giuly*

                                                                          Sorry to hear about the separation, I agree with kafrn, get out and get busy with friends, family, work, whatever. Don’t give yourself an excuse to mope! You gotta keep yourself going, will make it much easier. Glad to hear from you, was getting worried!

                                                                          Its sounds to me like a great humane society, I’m sure they’ll find your babies awesome homes, so don’t worry too much about them. And then down the road when you get re-settled, Sophie can go find herself a good husbun


                                                                        • Kafrn
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                                                                            Giuly and Sophie in Australia:

                                                                             

                                                                             


                                                                          • Kokaneeandkahlua
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                                                                              Hugs for you Guily!! You’ll get thru this!! 


                                                                            • SophieBun
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                                                                                Hey guys thanks for the posts!

                                                                                I took the babies to the Humane Society yesterday and I obviously cried…I kissed them all and left them with some hay and toys. They said they wouldn’t speuter them this young because the times they tried before they lost them so if someone adopts them now, they’ll go to their new home without being fixed. But if they’re still there when they grow up they’ll do the operation. I got kind of confused so I’m going tomorrow to see them from far away and ask again about the operation procedure.


                                                                              • jerseygirl
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                                                                                  Hugs to you. {{{(((happy home vibes to Sophies Babies)))}}} Was it the Broward county humane society?

                                                                                  On the personal front perhaps just put some distance between you for a while and talk again after some time has past. This reminds me of my sister and her ex. They were together from teenagers and became dependant on each other. They were married by age 21/22. They split 3 years later but remained close seeing each other weekly (though not in the beginning). They needed time apart to grow. Now they are seeing one another again. I’m not saying this to demonstrate a happy ending. When they split, things were unhappy and had been for a while. It took some time before they formed a more balanced relationship/friendship between them. You just never know where things will go and there is room to be in one anothers lives by fostering a friendship.


                                                                                • babybunsmum
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                                                                                    (((((((((more happy homes vibes to the wee buns)))))))))

                                                                                    what a relief to find out the humane society is a good one! you hang in there & keep checking back in here for some laughs and warm fuzzies… i recommend the bunny butt thread

                                                                                    (((((((((hugs)))))))))


                                                                                  • SophieBun
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                                                                                      thanks guys

                                                                                      I went to the humane society yesterday to check out my babies and they put them all together! I mean can’t they have babies already at 12 weeks??!! and why did they put them together? =S and they put all boys names to them and it’s 1 boy and three girls! Gosh I was so mad!! I didn’t know what to do so I came here to ask you guys, tha’ts not right isn’t it??? and Idk if they’ll listen to me since I lost my rights to them what should I do??? Thank you


                                                                                    • Kafrn
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                                                                                        OMG, they put them together?! Thats unreal! I read that they can get pregnant from 10 weeks onwards. So hmmm, maybe I would have a quiet word to someone there about the babies being seperated so that they dont make more babies :/
                                                                                        They can be desexed at 14 weeks, cant they?


                                                                                      • Monkeybun
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                                                                                          Definitely mention it to someone there, silly humane society. What are they thinking!


                                                                                        • jerseygirl
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                                                                                            Say something. Do it in a helpful way.  That you are concerned they’ll be having to home more rabbits within a few months. I hope they don’t try prevent you going there so then you can’t check whether they’ve separated them.

                                                                                            Edit: They haven’t even listed the gender.  Why did they change the names.  Would your names have alerted them to their sex also?


                                                                                          • MimzMum
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                                                                                              Perhaps they mistakenly sexed them themselves. They haven’t been speutered have they? I would definitely have a word with the management. That seems really wrong to me.
                                                                                              And a note to the webmaster…this post seems to have superimposed over Giuly’s original post in this thread on page one…was that supposed to happen?


                                                                                            • Beka27
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                                                                                                Hugs Guily.

                                                                                                Were you positive of their sexes? Were they sexed by a vet or by you (I’m sorry, I don’t remember…) Is it possible they are boys?

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                                                                                            Forum THE LOUNGE Update on babies