Non-bunnyloving family members or spouses?

[Karla]

Hey.

Just wondering if any of you in here live with a spouse or family who are not so overly keen on our little furry friends? And how do you deal with it?

My boyfriend is not as crazy about animals as I am, so having three bunnies is not always that easy. I don’t mind if there is a small present occassionally in the living room (hardly ever, but no one is without faults), or if one of the bunnies chew on a furniture or something else. Of course I like a nice home, and I will stop them. But that is just what it is: a home. Not a glossy picture from a home magazine. So it is not the end of the world when it happens. My boyfriend is not as overbearing on the other hand. He does think they are funny and sweet, but he says he gets nothing out of them.  The thing is that he gets really upset whenever the bunnies (:Molly) does something wrong. He wants the bunnies to either just be in one room or move outside. Karl is the only one who can do no harm, in my boyfriend’s eyes, but that does not really help the others. And well, Molly is destructive…but she has a sparkling personality

I do think about moving them outside, and maybe they will love it. But I will miss them so much, so I would prefer if we could all live happily together inside the house – free roaming.

[MarkBun]

I deal with a very simple way – rabbits come first, people come second. Even with my girlfriend of 6 years, we’ve both agreed. If it is ever a choice between our rabbit or each other, the rabbits win. If you don’t love my buns, then you don’t love me.

[Barbie]

Oh goodness… my mom hates when I let Leroy out in her house. She thinks I shouldn’t even let him free roam in my apartment – but she doesn’t live here, and I’m the one paying rent, so it’s not that big a deal My mom isn’t keen on any animals and only barely tolerates the lab they have at home (probably doesn’t help that the dog is big enough to knock her over and jump up on the counter and eat her food – she’s only 5″) and she has pretty bad allergies, so I don’t blame her.

Funny story: I was talking to my mom about how badly Leroy is shedding right now and she goes – COMPLETELY kidding – “well, if you don’t want him any more, I know plenty of Korean restaurants that would cook him!” I know that it’s a HORRIBLE thing to say about any pet, but she was totally kidding, and it was even more hilarious cus my mom doesn’t usually make sarcastic/funny statements like that.

My boyfriend also has really bad allergies – he gets AWFUL migraines when he’s around animals too much, so he wasn’t thrilled when I wanted to get a bunny, but he’s totally supportive and understanding and agrees that having a bunny around helps keep the apartment from being too quiet, so he encouraged me to get a bunny. He loves Leroy, even if he says he doesn’t sometimes… When we say good night, he tells me to tell “our boy” good night! We don’t live together so my bf doesn’t really feel the effects of Leroy chewing on things/digging the carpet. When we do get married, Leroy will have his own room – which I’ll be in charge of!

[Monkeybun]

tell your BF that he can live in one room or outside then too

Our bunnies are our family, not something we can lock up and not have in our lives. Thats my view anyway

[katie, max & penny]

my dad gets very annoyed with my buns. every stray poo, he points to and yells “I THOUGHT THEY WERE LITTERBOX TRAINED?”

he gets annoyed with how much care they give- how meticulous i am. but i tell him to shut it. i work so its my money, i tell him.

[luvmybunny]

My BF loves bunnies sooooo much, he can never say no to them or me when I want one, so I guess I am very luck to have him and my wonderful bunnies! Of course, he has his favorite bunny, Valen, but don’t tell the girls!!

[SophieBun]

My hubby never wanted to get a bunny because it’s not something we planned It was my impulse on rescuing Sophie and taking care of her. It didn’t help much that she had a surprise litter BUT he did warm up to her a lot. The thing is he doesn’t like her bunattitude, that she’ll come and bite us if we haven’t gave her the daily lettuce or she just wants to come through when our feet are in the way And the babies are destroying everything now, they even took out the paint from my library O_O He really wants to build her a hutch in the balcony and leave the window to the apt open so she can come inside whenever she wants. But I can’t compromise, I want her and Marble inside when the other babies are adopted. I would feel so bad and guilty if she had her habitat outside Yesterday we fought about it cause he said I put my pets first and then him It’s not that it’s just that for me, they’re indoor buns and they like sharing their lives with ours.

[KytKattin]

My dad just ignores their existence. It helps that they are in my room though. He doesn’t have to ever have any sort of interaction with them. My boyfriend kind of likes the rabbits I think. We’ve talked long term, and if we ever get a place together the rabbit thing still needs to be worked out. At first we would probably have an apartment, and I am paranoid about animals of any kind on the carpet so the bunnies would likely not be free range unless I was looking over them like a hawk. In our own house we would have a bunny room. Be it a whole room if we could spare, or just a part of one. Ideally, I want a sun room for the rabbits. They could probably have free range of the whole house some of the time, but they would need a place to be put to be away from kids, and the dogs as rabbits seem to like tripping me. My boyfriend is open to a lot of things, but we will see long term. One thing I don’t want is carpet! Rugs are good, but carpet is always a walking time bomb for me.

[Deleted User]

Karla, why don’t you build your trio a pen? It will show your boyfriend that you still care about him, too. You can let them out at times I’m sure.

[Adalaide]

We live with my mother-in-law. I really didn’t think my husband would be thrilled about Freya, especially after her first night home. He picked her up while I was at work and called me on my lunch break to come home because she escaped and was just sitting under the couch and wouldn’t come out. Brat. But my motherin-law…. sheesh. This woman thinks her house has to be like Martha Stewart perfect, only more perfect. My hairbrushes and gels and mouse and face stuff and toothpaste are all strewn across our bathroom counter. She’d have a heart attack if she ever saw it. She FREAKED out the time she came down and saw a few little poos in one corner. “Dan is diabetic you know, your rabbit is going to make him sick if you don’t keep her in her cage and from pooing all over the place.” As if 3 or 4 little poos in a corner make her some evil disease ridden thing that’s out to kill my husband. Just thinking about it makes me want to whack my head on my desk to see if it makes the badness go away, lol. I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with unsupportive family members.

[charliesmom]

My mom is the only other bunny lover in my family, even though we don’t live together. My boyfriend (also don’t live together) is pretty indifferent, but I caught him talking to the bunny the other day so I think he is coming around and the rest of my family just doesn’t “get it”. Even though most of my family doesn’t understand they don’t put up too much of a stink about it as I live alone and they know I will do what I want… hahah

[Monkeybun]

Posted By Adalaide on 11/11/2009 03:16 PM
We live with my mother-in-law. I really didn’t think my husband would be thrilled about Freya, especially after her first night home. He picked her up while I was at work and called me on my lunch break to come home because she escaped and was just sitting under the couch and wouldn’t come out. Brat. But my motherin-law…. sheesh. This woman thinks her house has to be like Martha Stewart perfect, only more perfect. My hairbrushes and gels and mouse and face stuff and toothpaste are all strewn across our bathroom counter. She’d have a heart attack if she ever saw it. She FREAKED out the time she came down and saw a few little poos in one corner. “Dan is diabetic you know, your rabbit is going to make him sick if you don’t keep her in her cage and from pooing all over the place.” As if 3 or 4 little poos in a corner make her some evil disease ridden thing that’s out to kill my husband. Just thinking about it makes me want to whack my head on my desk to see if it makes the badness go away, lol. I’m glad I’m not the only one dealing with unsupportive family members.

 

Well, good thing Dan isn’t on a rabbit poo diet. Seriously tho, how does rabbit poo affect diabetes? Silly woman.

[Adalaide]

Haha, I don’t know how it affects him. His brother is also diabetic, but because I married the youngest child somehow that makes him frail and incapable. His “weakened immune system” apparently by her standards can’t deal with a bunny. My mom is great, even though she’s 2000 miles away she loves pictures and totally understands the pet thing. She spend a small fortune trying to save her turtle after the bigger turtle bit him and he got an infection, poor little guy. I just mostly ignore my mother-in-law. She’s a sweet person, we just don’t see eye to eye and she makes me want to /headdesk.

[Karla]

So glad to hear there are others out there who deal with unsupportive spouses/family members. Animals have always been the issue between my boyfriend and I. Well, for that matter all my boyfriends ’cause I do put animals higher than people. Just needed some support in here. So I like to hear from many more

Well, in the last apartment the bunnies had the whole place, but now that we live in my boyfriend’s old apartment, they have a room to themselves. I think I might just keep them in that room for a few days, so he might notice that he misses them fooling around on the couch…and then when we buy our house in the spring, I can have them outside during the summer and have them indoor during winter. Perhaps! Or maybe just have them inside all the time

I understand his frustrations. He bought two fatboys just a few days ago and last night Molly took a huge bite of one of them. She eats the floor (yummy wood) and she is chewing the doors as well. She didn’t use to be such a destroyer until we moved. And his apartment is up for sale, so of course it needs to look good. But deep down I do think he appreciates them. I have noticed he really likes to show people our bunnies, and he is always really disappoined if someone has dropped by and the bunnies were hiding. He even said once, if we break up, he would like to come and visit Karl once in a while haha.

[Monkeybun]

Hmm if Molly didn’t start the destruction until the move, something tells me she is showing her displeasure at the whole thing Perhaps she will stop once she is more settled.

[jerseygirl]

lol  “Fatboys” are the bean bags you mentioned, yes? 

I never had dependants or pets of my own until late 2007.  Things are different now and I wonder what will happen to J&R if something happened to me.  For the first time I have considered the necessity of a will. 

[Karla]

Posted By jerseygirl on 11/12/2009 07:21 PM

lol  “Fatboys” are the bean bags you mentioned, yes? 

I never had dependants or pets of my own until late 2007.  Things are different now and I wonder what will happen to J&R if something happened to me.  For the first time I have considered the necessity of a will. 

Haha, yeah, “fatboys” is a fancy brand that makes bean bags…guess it is European. I can understand it may have sounded strange

I haven’t thought about a will that would look after my bunnies. I have been a bit naive and thought that the people who loved me would take good care of the bunnies because they would be a memory of me. But probably not…What would your will say about the bunnies?

 

[Lintini]

My dad can’t stand any of our pets but the dogs. I “snuck” in my 3 guinea pigs, 2 rabbits…chinchillas…1 of the dogs…well pretty much both of the dogs. I encouraged my brother to bring home the new puppy, so that’s pretty much my fault. 2 cats….I’ve snuck in a 50 gallon fish tank. Basically that just involved him not being home when I did it lol. My mom doesn’t mind, she thinks im nuts, but she buys me veggies every week at the store for the rabbits and guinea pigs. I did get him to cut a piece of wood to support my second story, but that’s the extent of him being involved. A few weeks ago the puppy drug out and spilled my liter box all over the family room, and I did a bad job cleaning it up, and boy was I in big trouble lol. So I missed a few turds here and there, blamed it on the puppy for stealing it and making a mess, but I was still to blame! My brother comes into my room and feeds them craisins, so I know he likes the rabbits. My dad’s just sick of pets because he was raised with so many, and we have so many. He doesn’t have to deal with them so I don’t understand what the issue is. My pets and I keep to ourselves in my room and I try to keep them as clean as possible so my dad won’t complain. BUT, he has built me awesome out door runs when I was younger and many hidey houses for them. He also built the aviary we have in the backyard as well so…he can’t hate them too much!

[Beka27]

The best way to deal with non-supportive family or housemates is to make the care of your buns seem very effortless. Which is hard. Because buns are a lot of work.

My suggestions:
1) Try to clean the bun area and litterboxes when the person is not home. If they’re in the room and get a whiff of dirty litterbox as you dump it out, that’s sometimes enough to make them think: bun = stinky (even if they never smell).
2) To the best of your ability, use your own money for food, litter, toys, vet care. And you don’t have to tell them exactly how much everything costs.
3) Don’t ask them to do anything unless it’s absolutely necessary (“Can you clean out the litterbox, I just got my nails done.” This would be bad.)
4) On the contrary… In some cases, it may help if they feel a part of some of the care. Maybe they don’t mind giving a daily treat or feeding in the evenings, as long as it’s easy and they don’t feel pressured (and they do it the right way.)

You learn a lot about a person by their love (or tolerance) of animals, including what kind of HUMAN father they will be. There are many men out there who do love animals (even rabbits!) and love to share their lives with them, in fact… they would never think of NOT having a pet. If pets are something that are important to you, I don’t think there is anything wrong with basing your selection of men partially on their acceptance of your pets. So if you are unattached right now, I would strongly weigh this info when evaluating potential partners. You may not have RABBITS forever, but chances are you’ll have some kind of pet (dog, cat, ferret, parrot, iguana, etc…) and you want this person to be compatible.

For me, I fear that there will be an issue soon b/c within the next couple years we are going to be buying a house and we both want a dog. Getting a dog may not be a simple process since we share our home with buns. Mike wants a dig BAD. I think if presented with a dog he really, really wanted, he’d be willing to “throw the buns under the bus”. I’ve already been talking to him about what breeds are generally not good with buns, to prepare him.

[babybunsmum]



You learn a lot about a person by their love (or tolerance) of animals, including what kind of HUMAN father they will be.

 

*nods head in agreement*

i’m a single gal so i have free-reign over pet decisions.  yay.  but i can tell you this… i would not even date any guy who showed disdain for my fuzzies.  i don’t expect other people to love em like i do but i ~definitely~ expect that they respect that its my choice.  with that expectation of mine comes the responsibility of keeping the fuzzies well looked after of course.

[Monkeybun]

Posted By babybunsmum on 11/13/2009 12:58 PM

*nods head in agreement*

i’m a single gal so i have free-reign over pet decisions.  yay.  but i can tell you this… i would not even date any guy who showed disdain for my fuzzies.  i don’t expect other people to love em like i do but i ~definitely~ expect that they respect that its my choice.  with that expectation of mine comes the responsibility of keeping the fuzzies well looked after of course.

 

For sure! Luckily my hubby likes bunnies, he willingly drove me aroudn to several bunny hsows for me to look at different breeds and such before we found Monkey. We drove 3 hours to get her! lol

[Karla]

Posted By Beka27 on 11/13/2009 12:46 PM
You learn a lot about a person by their love (or tolerance) of animals, including what kind of HUMAN father they will be. There are many men out there who do love animals (even rabbits!) and love to share their lives with them, in fact… they would never think of NOT having a pet. If pets are something that are important to you, I don’t think there is anything wrong with basing your selection of men partially on their acceptance of your pets. So if you are unattached right now, I would strongly weigh this info when evaluating potential partners. You may not have RABBITS forever, but chances are you’ll have some kind of pet (dog, cat, ferret, parrot, iguana, etc…) and you want this person to be compatible.

 

This is so true! And the best advice to ever give someone (who loves animals) . Unfortunately, the number of people who like animals here is so small – well, they may say the love bunnies, but then they keep them in small outdoor hutches and only check on them a couple of times a week. To me, people who don’t like animals lack empathetic skills. That is my experience at least. I have always introduced a new date to my cat – if the guy did not approach the cat and petted it. Well, then that was it. Unfortunately, feelings took over before I got the chance to introduce my boyfriend to the cat (they don’t like each other). He was fine about getting the bunnies though to my huge surprise. And he even said a while ago “I will pick out our 4th bunny”, so he cannot hate them that much since I have not brought up the issue of a 4th bunny.  

About making it easy to have a bunny – absolutely true as well We fight a lot about the bunnies now that we have moved. I am away 12 hours a day because I commute 4 hours. It used to be the other way around, so every afternoon I would vacuum, I would clean the toilet, feed the bunnies et.c before he would come home. Now, my boyfriend freaks out because their toilets smell, there is poop outside the toilet et.c. And I used to have the time to come up with things for them to play with, so Molly didn’t have to chew the furniture.. Better go out for a walk now to find some huge branches for her!
 

We are adding a dog the family next year. My boyfriend says he loves dogs, and I think it is so important that he learns to be attached to an animal. I hope he gets more mellow once it happens

But I forgive my boyfriend – he is influenced by his mother. The woman who told me with a big smile that their grandchild’s cat just had kittens, but they were all killed after a few days. I asked why they would let the cat have kittens if they were just going to kill the kittens anyhow…”because the mummy cat should try to have kittens. She wanted to”!! Well, I do not believe animals feel an emotionel need to become a mother…but I am sure they are emotionally stressed if somebody takes away their babies! And then to kill the kittens?? Off topic, grrrr.

[Adalaide]

Well, you can’t always judge someone by how they get along with pets. I am quite allergic to cats and dogs. I’m not really sure why, but I still love dogs (little ones) but cats and I just don’t get along. My husband’s cat and I never hit it off and he hated me even more when we got married and that was the end of his sleeping in the bedroom, or even being in our downstairs at all. Don’t know what makes his stupid cat special, but he makes me break out in hives. He also was never disciplined in his whole life which means he gets on the kitchen counter and the dining room table, which frankly is disgusting. Those are two places that animals never belong. He also has an obsession with trying to rub on my legs when I’m in the kitchen, but if and only if I am not wearing long pants. I swear it’s a demon cat from hell that is simply out to get me. Other then that I don’t really have problems with people pets.
I guess it’s really that not all animals are for everyone so you can’t just use any old pet or animal as your measurement for that. I mean, if you have a pet and a new person doesn’t get along with it that’ll be a problem if they’ll be around a lot or long term, but maybe they just don’t like X animal.

[Beka27]

^Very true! I personally am not a fan of cats, I do not want one, but NEITHER DOES MY HUSBAND, so we’re in agreement over this. The most important thing is that everyone is in agreement. This is easier if you have X animal when you meet a potential mate, not so easy if you decide ten years later that you like and want X animal after that relationship is already in place.

You also don’t have to like or want a particular animal to acknowledge that the animal deserves to be fed, cared for, vetted, trained, and housed properly. If a potential mate said he was a “dog person” but then turned around and hunted cats, I would NOT consider him an animal lover, regardless of how he feels about dogs. An animal lover has respect for all animals, regardless of whether they want X animal in their home or not.

[corpathina]

You learn a lot about a person by their love (or tolerance) of animals, including what kind of HUMAN father they will be.

see, this is what i believed, but i learned something very interesting about my boyfriend after getting our bun. he’s a dog person and his whole family hates cats. i, on the other hand, love cats. however, my bf is extremely allergic to them and we live together, so i’ll pretty much never have a cat unless we live somewhere where i could have an outside cat. we live in a neighborhood right now that’s too close to a busy road and mean dogs for me to have a cat with peace of mind.

karla, i definitely identify with your situation, though. i’ve always thought i couldn’t be with a guy that didn’t love cats the way i do, but i never thought i’d fall in love with someone allergic to them! i probably wouldn’t like kitties if they made me sick, either!

so anyway, we got our bunny this summer and at first my bf was very impatient with him. he’s a dog person and thinks animals should be easily trained and should provide something for their owners. i guess dogs do that? i love puppies, too, but i don’t think they’re any more special than buns. anyway, after a few months he warmed up to mj a bit more. he said the same thing your bf does – the bunny just doesn’t do anything for him. well it all blew up one day when i made the mistake of telling him that because he didn’t have patient with a rabbit i doubted he would have patience with a baby. BIG MISTAKE! it reeeeally hurt his feelings and we were at odds for a few weeks over it.

finally, i began to understand things from his perspective. it boils down to the fact that animals are always just animals to him. they are lovable and are pets, but he doesn’t view them as children, the way i do. i’ve always treated my pets like true family members and given them the best care possible. i realize now (and have always known in my heart) that my bf will be a fantastic dad, even if he doesn’t view animals as his children.

so everybody’s different, i guess. ultimately he’s learned to spend a lot more time with mj and really likes him now (never as much as he would a dog, mind you). i think he realized how happy mj makes me, so therefore he’ll love him and care for him for my sake if nothing else.

i think our “disapproving” spouses/family do our buns to some degree, they just might not show it the same way we do. it’s hard to find a balance between those different modes of thinking, but i think it makes for a stronger relationship once you work it out.

best of luck! <3

[luvmybunny]

Hmm….I am diabetic too for almost 27 years and rabbit poop never had an effect on my diabetes….lol! I’m sorry your M-I-L is so silly, Adelaide!

[Adalaide]

Yeah, she’s a real nut-job some times. She’s a perfectly sweet person, just truly obnoxious.

I guess you’ree right Beka. When my husband had surgery I fed and watered his furball. I wouldn’t let the thing starve, after all it’s not his fault that he’s an ill-trained and ill-mannered with long hair. The one thing that we agree about is that pets aren’t just animals to us, they’re family. I hate his cat, but I was the one who had us in an emegancy vets office on a Sunday afternoon (really REALLY huge taboo if it’s not super emergency) when I noticed his cat had an abcess from being stupid and fighting with who knows what while he was outside. No matter how I feel about it, he doesn’t deserve to suffer needlessly. I just won’t suffer needlessly for the cat either. Until he can get a job, pay part of our rent and clean up after himself he isn’t allowed in our downstairs since he gives me hives. I maybe also make fun of him all summer after he gets his lion cut at the groomers, but he looks stupid.

My husband thinks dogs are too much work. I think cats are boring and lazy and not nearly as much fun as a dog. If I don’t talk him into a dog we’ll just stick with buns, or maybe one day I’ll let him get a ferret. GROSS!

[Karla]

Posted By corpathina on 11/14/2009 04:10 PM
.

finally, i began to understand things from his perspective. it boils down to the fact that animals are always just animals to him. they are lovable and are pets, but he doesn’t view them as children, the way i do. i’ve always treated my pets like true family members and given them the best care possible. i realize now (and have always known in my heart) that my bf will be a fantastic dad, even if he doesn’t view animals as his children.

Such a good point!  I consider my pets my children, and for us who feel this way, I guess it can be difficult sometimes to understand how other people can just consider them “animals”. Just as we make no sense to the others  And that is how the frustration sometimes occur. Well, at least my children will be animal lovers like me! I will make sure of it   

Adalaide and Beka: Shame on you! Cats are amazing. You’re missing out on a great animal hehe  Some cats just require a lot of patience to understand and love.  

[Beka27]

And I’ve met great cats! I don’t hate cats, they’re just not the pet for me. If I’m at someone’s house I will pet their cat and I love hearing stories about them and seeing pics, I just don’t want one for myself.

[Adalaide]

I always had farm cats at my dad’s farm growing up and thought they were great. I also had some indoor cats at my mom’s house. I suppose I just think that cats who are on kitchen counters aren’t great. They need water bottles sprayed in their face, not patience. I like other people’s cats just fine. They’re cute and fun as long as they have short hair. Maybe I just hate misbehaved cats, idk.

[Author]

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