BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > THE LOUNGE > Need Help ASAP! Cat may be put down!
Last Post by mocha200 at 11/10/2012 4:34 AM (34 Replies)
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:00 PM
We have a 5-6 year old cat (don't know her age exactly). She has always peed in the house when she is scared. Right before we moved she peed all over our old house for no reason. We just moved her into our new house and she is peeing everywhere. It could be because of the noise but no one is working at night and she isn't even acting scared! She is the least scared of all 4 of our cats so I don't think that's the reason! My mom says if I don't find a home for her by Sat (or possibly tomorrow) She is going to the humane society or being put to sleep. I need help FAST! I have no idea on what to do! I love her and she is so cuddly but I understand how we can't have a peeing cat in a brand new house that is worth a lot of money! We already have 5 spots where she has peed and we can't get the smell out. There is NO way we are going to be able to keep her so Please just help me find a home for her or she will be killed!
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User is Offline lmais
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11/07/2012 12:15 PM
Aw Mocha I'm so sorry I really can't offer any advice, or even help in this situation because I wouldn't be able to care for any other pets. I just wanted to say I really hope that you find somewhere soon.

Is there a way that you can find out what rescue or adoption centres are near you and take her there?

User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 12:20 PM
Have you taken her to the vet? Before just dumping her to be put to sleep your parents should at least make sure there isn't a health related issue causing her to eliminate like this. I can't believe they would just get rid of her like that, can't they find a no kill shelter? I'm sorry, I'm not trying to make you feel bad or guilty for what your parents are doing, but this seems very heartless to me. I know you're trying to do everything you can for her.
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:25 PM
My mom kind of hates her so she really doesn't care. She thought it was Emmett (one of her favorite cats) So he has an appointment to go to the vet tomorrow but now we know its not him. But she doesn't want to pay to treat her. For all we know it could be a different cat. She has always hatted her. I just don't know what to do! Maybe my mom will let me take her to the vet if I pay for it. I don't have much money though!
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User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 12:28 PM

Wow. I'm so sorry, it's so sad that your mom doesn't care about her. What about your dad? Would he be willing to help you pay for the vet? Or a sibling?

"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:33 PM
Well I guess we know it is her because she stepped in it and tracked it around and it led to the spot where she was and Clara (one of our cats ) hasn't left a cardboard box for hours and Shadow (another one of our cats) was outside! Argh! I can't stop crying right now! No one seems to care! Although, My Grandma is being really sweet and came up by me and told me everything will be ok! I love her ! <3
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User is Offline lmais
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11/07/2012 12:34 PM
I'm with Hazel on this one - if you really can't find a way to treat her, a no kill shelter would be the best thing to do. It really just seems horrible to put down an animal just because they don't like it and again, it's good that you're doing what you can for the poor thing!!! What about other relatives? Or friends? Would anyone you know be able to take her in until you can get her treated? Or give her a new forever home?

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:35 PM
My sister might be willing to take her but she lives in an apartment so they might not allow another cat. Idk I have to talk to her tonight. My Dad doesn't really like cats. He puts up with them but would care either way. My other sister doesn't seem to care.
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User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 12:39 PM
Can you get your mom to stretch her ultimatum a little? Expecting you to find a home for her in 2-3 days is very unreasonable. Especially if she's sick.
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline lmais
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11/07/2012 12:43 PM
I just spoke to my mother (who has owned multiple cats in the past) and she thinks it sounds like the cat may have a UTI. It's super easy to treat in humans, maybe it won't be much to treat the same in a cat...

User is Offline Stickerbunny
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11/07/2012 12:50 PM
Yeah it does sound kinda like a UTI... you could crate her until you can find a home, would that get you more time? Since she wouldn't be peeing on the floors...

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:50 PM
Our cat Emmett had a UTI earlier this year which is why she was going to take him in. We haven't ever had her checked for it though. If she did have one I have a feeling we would have to get rid of her anyways because we could afford two cats with prescription food. That stuff is $50 for a tiny bag. I hate companies who charge so much money JUST because they know people will pay for it. I REALLY want to have her checked out but it could be over $100 and that would leave almost no money for an emergency vet bill for my rabbits.
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User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 12:51 PM
Imais pointed out a very possible scenario, could be kidney stones too. Is she fixed? Female cats mark their territory just like males, could she be marking the house?
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:52 PM
Stickerbunny: We will put it her in a shed outside for the next few days that has a heat lamp in it. She will NEVER let her back in the house again is what she said.
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:53 PM
Yes all of our cats are fixed.
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User is Offline Stickerbunny
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11/07/2012 12:54 PM
If you contact your vet and other vets in the area, they often have rescue contacts that can help rehome animals when needed.

User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 12:56 PM
Well, maybe the shed will buy you some more time. Be careful with the heat lamp though, it could easily become a fire hazard, please make sure the cat can't knock it over.
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 12:59 PM
I feel like I have all this pressure on me when I am not even old enough to do much about it! If I was old enough to move out I would take her in a heart beat! I don't think I can handle talking to anyone right now I would probably break down on the phone.
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 1:19 PM
I can't do it guys! I can't say goodbye! I don't want to! Why does this have to happen! I can't stop crying! No one seems to care about her! I don't think I could live with myself knowing how such a good cat has to leave or die just because of her peeing! I really need someone who understands me to talk to! I don't want to say goodbye! I CANT! :'( :'(
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User is Offline Hazel
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11/07/2012 2:57 PM
I'm really sorry Mocha. You should never have been put in this position. *hugs*
You're welcome to pm me if you need someone to talk to.
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline Roberta
Wanneroo, Western Australia
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11/07/2012 3:41 PM
I agree with the UTI scenario especially as it can be brought on by stress. My Jebediah had problems with it but we have managed sevral years with out an attack and no need for prescription food. You will have to provide wet food though not all biscuits. Jebediah did have to go on valium for a week and I slowly reduced his dosage over time. A Feliway diffuser will also help with stress or just the Feliway spray.
Have you mentioned these things to your Mum, that your cat is unwell, I really can't see her wanting to PTS an animal for something it can't help but I can understand the knee jerk reaction to your puss peeing in the new house.
As to getting rid of the smell, baking soda/powder is a wonderful thing, never use bleach on cat urine it will only make the smell worse. A paste of baking powder and white vinegar rubbed into the spot allowed to dry and swept or vacummed away. Also a mild detergent with eucalyptus oil (also called wool wash available in the laundry detergent aisle at the supermarket)
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 6:08 PM
Thanks Hazel!

Right after I posted that I had a panic attack. It was the first on I had had since July. Luckily my sister came up to calm me down. It didn't help any that I forgot to take my medicine this morning. I don't think it is a UTI as she has always peed outside of her box in the past when under stress and my moms excuse is that she doesn't want her to pee every time something stressful happens. Me and my sister are going to try and talk her into keeping her outdoors at least. I mean she goes outside all day anyways I don't see why it would matter having her if she wasn't in the house. She could stay in the nice cat shed at night! I don't understand how she could say no to that! Better then staying at an animal shelter in a tiny cage and never being adopted because of her past of peeing and how old she is.
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User is Offline jerseygirl
Australia
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11/07/2012 6:19 PM
Im so sorry you are having to deal with this Mocha. I hope your parents agree to work with you on this. Sending you (((Hugs))).

I think a cat enclosure in your shed is a good option. It might even help her stress levels if she seems to prefer the outdoors.

I don't know if this is a safe suggestion (sorry!) but was Emmet given meds for his UTI earlier in the year? If there is some left and you have absolutely no choice of getting this cat seen, I wonder if giving her some of his med worth it:? Please anyone say if this is a bad idea. I have no clue.
Whoever says "It's only a rabbit" has obviously never loved a rabbit.

User is Offline Roberta
Wanneroo, Western Australia
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11/07/2012 6:43 PM

Sadly Mocha, and I do not say this to stress you But unless it is a No Kill Shelter an elderly cat would most likely be PTS an elderly cat with a peeing problem definitely would. Worst case try contacting a nearby cat rescue or see if there is a No Kill Shelter nearby. I will do some hunting about tonight.

I still think that your Mother has probably had an instant reaction to having the new house pee'd in before you have had a chance to make it your home (which I can fully understand, nothing in my place is untouched by cat, they get to everything snd there are times I have had very uncharitable thoughts about my pets. I eventually calm down and remember I love them). Maybe a few days to calm down and some reasonable solutions will help her look at things differently.

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User is Offline jerseygirl
Australia
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11/07/2012 6:43 PM
Oh and if can't get that Feliway product Roberta suggested. maybe some Rescue Remedy if you have it? Or something that acts in same way as Feliway?
Whoever says "It's only a rabbit" has obviously never loved a rabbit.

User is Offline mocha200
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11/07/2012 6:43 PM
Jerseygirl: He might have been but we don't have any left if he did. I just don't get why my mom wouldn't bring cloud in to the vet tomorrow instead to see if shes sick. But oh well. He has been acting funny lately so he should probably go. I am going to try and ask her tomorrow about having her outside. At our old house she was more of and "indoor" cat but at our new place she seems to love it! There is more animals to hunt up here though! :p
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User is Offline RabbitPam
South Florida
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11/08/2012 1:34 AM
Mocha,
I am very sorry this is happening and it's bringing on your own panic attacks. First, your asking your mother (and why not your father or grandmother?) to take your cat to the vet appointment instead is perfectly reasonable. I think you need to enlist support from your sister and grandmother to ask, on your behalf, to have your cat cared for at least as well as the other cats in the household. If your mother doesn't care about your cat, fine. But I'd like to assume she does care about YOU, and that it has caused a setback for you is very serious and should be looked at wisely. You are agreeing to help to care for your own animal, and I suspect you would do so for any of her other favorites as well.

You need the adults in your life to help you cope with this, not make it even more stressful. You, too, are moving - a big stressor. Are you seeing anyone for your own anxiety since last July? It would certainly be helpful if you could go to whoever was helping you with your anxiety then and get help with coping with this now. I suspect that an adult in your corner would be able to reason with your mother enough to ask her to allow steps to be taken on behalf of the cat's health, and yours, and think through the options calmly - not with frightening ultimatums.

Try to find some support in your grandmother, father or sister and take this cat to the vet. You all are perfectly aware that a new home is totally stressful for all of the pet, and one cat hiding while another is peeing is perfectly natural. And a UTI is treatable. And it's likely that the cat caught it from her favorite cat in the first place, so they need to be examined. This is not an excuse to let your mother deal irresponsibly with your cat simply because she isn't a favorite. It is still her responsibility to treat the animals in her household.
{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}
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User is Offline Roberta
Wanneroo, Western Australia
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11/08/2012 1:52 AM
Well said Pam.
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/08/2012 6:43 AM
Pam: Thank you! I was diagnosed with turrets syndrome when I was about 8 years old. Soon after I was diagnosed with OCD which often goes along with turrets. A lot of people think OCD is just being obsessed with germs and organizing things but it is much worse! I saw a psychologist for quite a few years but for the like the last 6 months before we moved I was totally fine and I didn't feel like I needed to talk to her anymore so we thought once we moved we wouldn't have to. My psychologist is probably now over 2 hours away and I would HATE to get a new one. I honestly have always hated going to see a doctor of any kind because of all the doctors I went to when I was little. I sort of had another break down in the middle of the night where I couldn't stop shaking which I hadn't had in YEARS it seems like. I just hate how all of this stuff is coming on! I think it is worse with stress though.... idk.

As nice as my grandma is I don't think she would talk my mom into taking her into the vet. She isn't a "big" animal lover and will not allow any cats in her house. My sister said she is going to talk to her sometime and try to at LEAST let us keep her. My dad is on a business trip and isn't home right now which is another reason why my mom is probably so upset. I just don't know what to do.
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User is Offline BB
San Francisco Area
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11/08/2012 7:19 PM

Mocha - I am so very sorry. This kind of pressure shouldn't be on your shoulders. You shouldn't have to go through this. Even if a family member is not an "animal person" or that particular cat is not liked by someone else, they could still have empathy and love for you and see how this is hurting you so deeply. I'm sorry if for whatever reason they are not seeing your side of things. It seems terribly unfair.

One of the hardest things in life is to not have control over the things in life that completely break your heart or add stress.  To be in a situation where it feels like the weight of the world is too heavy. And so it actually is no wonder that you would have an anxiety attack. Who wouldn't under these circumstances. Life really can be so unfair when you have little control to change it.

 But you hang in there. You are a very talented, intelligent, caring and sensitive person. Those things will carry very far once you reach adulthood and can have more control over things like this.  For now, I do think it's a good idea to find a psychologist. Maybe you could have a phone session with your previous one though for now. (Maybe she could offer a referral too). Your psychologist may be able to have good suggestions and tools that could help you cope with this very difficult situation. It's not about what's wrong with you, but about how you can cope with what seems to be a very wrong situation that you have very little control over.


Regarding your cat -- if your sister can't take her, then would you and your sister be willing to try and find a home for her where she could be in the house and cuddling with someone at night? Where she would get vet care if she needed it. Sounds like she won't get it at your house even if she's outdoor only. (???)   At least this way, you know in your heart she is being taken care of and she's safe and happy.  She's only 5 -6 years old, so for a cat, she's not that old. She could transition okay, especially if she's a cuddly cat.    

I am just so sorry you are going through this.  Sending hugs to you.


User is Offline RabbitPam
South Florida
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11/09/2012 8:52 AM
Hi, Mocha,
I agree totally with BB, though I will admit I am not ready for you to give up on your cat, but if you have to rehome her, BB makes very good points to consider.

It is important that you have a local therapist to turn to with your current situation. I absolutely agree that a phone session with the one you know and like is the best step to take immediately. She knows you, your family dynamic, and what you need to do asap to cope successfully with this unexpected issue. You just need some support and guidance, and it may even be necessary for your therapist to get on the phone with your mother and tell her what you need to do to take care of your own health right now. It may or may not involve keeping your cat, but it definitely needs to be clear to your mother that you need to be cared for properly. Once that is put into motion, I think (as much as a new therapist is difficult to adjust to, especially with OCD) you need to get a good recommendation of a colleague from your former therapist, have her contact someone with your information on your behalf and help set you up with someone to see locally. This is important for your long term health, Mocha. I really understand a mis-diagnosis eroding confidence in medical help (I went 25 years misdiagnosed with a health issue that, once known, was so obvious) so I know how hard it is to trust a new person to be helpful and effective.
But BB is so right about what a talented, bright, terrific person you are, and with some adult support, how well you will do in life over time. I am so sure of what you offer the world that I want you to get your network of support solidly in place in this new environment. Sometimes parents just don't see us clearly, and you need the solitary attention and devotion to your well being that a good therapist will provide. Just as your cat needs a good home with personal attention and people who will attend to her medical and life needs, you do too. So I hope this helps and am, along with BB, sending more [[[[[[[[[hugs}}}}}}}.

And btw, even if you rehome your kitty for her own good, you will have many opportunities later in life to have your own cat again. When it's your home and your decision. It's not a closed door, just a postponed lifestyle.
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/09/2012 6:28 PM
I have a great update!

So... I had a long talk with my mom a few days ago and after I settled down she talked me through things to see things that were not clear to me. I kind of blocked my mind off and wouldn't listen to her before. Cloud is a very scared and nervous cat. I think it was something that happened when she was a kitten (wont get into that right now. Nothing bad like abuse or anything :p ) She HATES strangers especially men! even at our old house when it was only us at home she would hide in the basement all day and only come out a little bit. When we have family gatherings for Christmas or Thanksgiving she has peed and pooped in out side of the box because she is to scared (this has happened more then once). When ever we build something she would pee. We normally cleaned it up and it was fine but then it started getting worse. When no one was even home she started peeing more than once in my sisters room (which is right across the hall from the litter box. That was right before we moved her to our new place. When they came up there was some dominance issues between some of our cats and when they all went in the camper together she peed ALL OVER the camper floor and ruined one of Clara (our other cats) favorite house! After that she said we might not be able to have her in the house when it was built but she gave her another chance and after she peed 3 times in our new house she said she couldn't come back inside. As you can see she has had problems peeing over the past 6 years and most of that I was to young to even remember. She may have peed more times out of the box at our old house that we didn't even discover. I completely understood why she wouldn't want a cat who peed in the house. But I still could not understand how she could kill her for it. So she said that we could keep her if she stayed outside! My mom is going to try and talk my dad into building her a little house in the corner of our garage for her to sleep in! She will still be able to play with her brother during the day and he may even sleep out there with her some nights! I just know that no one would take a cat from a shelter who is 6 and has a history of peeing outside of the box when they is a cute cuddly kitten they could have instead. She has also had some other health problems in the past and the vet has told us many times that she was going to die. Any ways. I am very excited to keep her and I know my dad will build her an awesome house (you should see the shed she is in now!). I know it isn't the same as being an indoor cat but I know that this is 100% better then having her put down!
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User is Offline Roberta
Wanneroo, Western Australia
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11/09/2012 7:14 PM
That is excellent news Mocha and if she had a habit of staying in the basement she will probably be very happy in the shed. Sounds like your Mum has given it a lot of thought. Your cat may still have a medical issue but it sounds like a long standing one that is possibly genetic and most likely not treatable. So the solution your Mum has given definitely is the best.
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User is Offline RabbitPam
South Florida
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11/10/2012 4:25 AM
Mocha, I am so relieved to hear you worked this out with your mother. It does sound like an elegant and compassionate solution, taking your mother's feelings into account as well. From the project we watched you make before on your video, I wouldn't be surprised if you take part in building the little house with your Dad.
It does help to get as much information here as possible so we can offer well-informed suggestions. Clearly, your honesty about what you were able to hear and take in explains the situation at first, your panic, and your reactions. It is probably the most important that you and your mom were able to talk calmly about it and work out a plan for the next step of the solution.
I still want to urge you to follow through with a call to your former dr. to get a local referral. I think you need to have that number handy and the knowledge at the back of your mind that there is someone local you can call in a crisis. It's kind of like insurance payments - once you get them you rarely get sick. You just feel well knowing it's there. I think your parent's are doing the best they can for you, and all of your lives are complicated. It may help them to know you have back up support available too.
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User is Offline mocha200
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11/10/2012 4:34 AM
Roberta: She has been to the vet several times and had tons of tests taken. I think my mom said that she had been tested for something in the past?
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