BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > THE LOUNGE > It's been a month and it's not any easier
Last Post by Kokaneeandkahlua at 10/19/2012 4:22 PM (13 Replies)
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User is Offline LittlePuffyTail
New Brunswick, Canada
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10/17/2012 1:07 AM

So today is a pretty sad day. It marks a month since I laid my sweet little man to rest. I can't believe it's been that long. In a way, I guess, it seems longer. Like I haven't held him in so long. I still miss him so much and sometimes still feel in denial. Everything reminds me of him and it's so hard. I would give anything to hold him again.

The other weekend was hard. Thanksgiving. My first holiday without him. 

I honestly spend most of my day trying to not think about him because it's just too painful. I've lost rabbits before but only after having them for 5 months and the other a year and a half. It was very hard to lose them but I didn't feel such lingering pain. I had Stormy for 8 years and he was incredibly special to me. But you all know that anyways. I miss all the cute things he did, just looking at his face, holding and kissing him.

It hit me hard a couple of weeks after the fact since I was so consumed taking care of and worrying about Bindi. Now that he's better I find myself dwelling a lot. If I allow myself to really think about Stormy, I break down and cry.

The urn I wanted to order is out of stock and only available through one website so I was disappointed but I found another I like. I'm ordering this one:

 

 

  

 

Thanks for reading. I feel like you guys are the only ones I can talk to about this. Ricky understands how much I miss him but I can tell he gets upset by me constantly bringing up how much I miss Stormy since it's painful for him too. 

 

Proud to be a Bunny Hugger and a voice for the voiceless
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User is Offline sleepy538
new jersey
244 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 1:25 AM
hugs, lpt. that is a beautiful urn. i understand your pain. i lost my sweet 9 year old cosie 2.5 months ago. some days it feels like ages ago and some days it feels like yesterday. when they've been a part of our lives for so long it feels empty without them. hopefully as time goes by the pain will lessen and instead the memories of stormy will bring a smile to your face.

User is Offline bullrider76543
Joplin MO
1291 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 2:32 AM
I am so sorry LPT, Everyday must be a challenge for you. My deepest sympathies are with you, and if you need to come hug Blue he will let you!
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User is Offline MimzMum
Interior Alaska
7879 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 3:07 AM
Oh Steph...how can it have been a month already? It doesn't seem like that kind of time has passed.
That is a beautiful urn. Where did you find it if you don't mind my asking?
I sympathize with not feeling you can speak of this with Ricky. I think sometimes those we hold dearest have the hardest time understanding how we need to talk these things out to help us process them. And they are the ones we need to understand this the most.

Did my last email get to you okay? I find gmail to be kind of unreliable and I never know if my notes actually send.

Thinking of you. Sending hugs too. Stormy was such a sweet little bub. It's no wonder you miss him so.
Take care. (((((((((Hugs)))))))))
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User is Offline CinnabunMom
in the TARDIS
1194 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 3:11 AM
That's a really beautiful urn. ((HUGS)) Thinking of you guys.
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User is Offline RabbitPam
South Florida
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10/17/2012 3:25 AM
LPT, it's so understandable. And really, you did not have any time to properly grieve when he crossed the bridge because you were in a serious medical crisis that continued for another week or more. I thought it might hit you later because of that, and was just so relieved when Bindi recovered. A month gone by is nothing, really.

That is a lovely urn.

Spockie was 8 when he died, and I missed him terribly. I didn't get Samantha for 8 months after, and I have to admit how disappointed with her I was at first because she just wasn't Him. She wasn't anything like him, I couldn't do the same things, I couldn't relate to her the same way, and I thought bunnies were his temperament so was terribly thrown when she was so different. I used to carry him around a few times a day! She wouldn't let me pick her up or touch her back for, well, most of the time. She could have a purple belly for all I know because she won't let me lift her to see it. And she bit and growled. I just wanted my Spockie. It took a long time to love her.

But one thing about loss that's helped me to remember. It's the metaphor of your heart as a house. You have a room for everyone you love in it. You never put anyone else in the room that was theirs, but you build on more and more rooms as you add to the house. Your heart expands with the others you love, so when you go into that empty room that used to be theirs and feel sad, you have other rooms in your heart to comfort you. He will always have that place for you.
 photo CarrotCrop100x500BBSiggy_zps0f2147e4.jpg Have your people call my people. We'll do carrots.

User is Offline Hazel
848 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 3:31 AM
I love the urn, it's beautiful. I feel so bad for you, you can always come here and talk to us!
"You ain't buna fide!"

User is Offline FrankieFlash
Michigan
1715 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 7:43 AM
*Hugs* LPT. I teared up reading your post. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling. I know when I lost someone dear to my heart nothing made it better but time. And remembering the good times you had with them. I think talking about it helps too. I'm glad you can come talk to us. We'll always be hear to listen.

User is Offline jerseygirl
Australia
14627 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 4:45 PM
It truly doesn't feel like its been a month. So much was going on. I agree you were delayed in your grief.
Allow yourself to have a big cry over him. It might actually help after.

Sending peace (((vibes))) and hugs.

User is Offline Memarie
88 posts Send Private Message
10/17/2012 5:01 PM
I am so sorry for your loss LPT. I wasn't a member when you were going through all of the heartache with Stormy, and then Bindi, but I was already following the situation on the forums. It is so incredibly hard to lose a bunny, especially one cherished like a member of your family. I can't say it will get much easier... I lost my Marbles unexpectedly after only four years together back in May. It's been 5 months and I'm still heartbroken over the loss. I have my Luna now, and while I do love her, it is just not the same. I would take Marbles back in a second...
You need to let yourself grieve. It is ok for your mind to stray to Stormy and allow yourself to cry. You did not get a chance before. We are all here for you ((hugs))

User is Offline LittlePuffyTail
New Brunswick, Canada
Forum Leader
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10/19/2012 1:30 AM
Thank you for all your replies. It makes me feel better knowing you guys understand.

Mimz- They sell that urn at BunnyRabbit.com and EverymyPet.

I`m finding myself a bit more at peace these last couple of days. It`s still so hard though, because he was such a big part of my daily life. When I feel sad, I like to crank a beautiful song by one of my favorite bands, called ``In Loving Memory``. It`s such a beautiful song for anyone who has ever lost anyone they love.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qcQ3iegpZTc


Proud to be a Bunny Hugger and a voice for the voiceless
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User is Offline bunnygirl
Western Australia
629 posts Send Private Message
10/19/2012 2:30 AM
LPT, we are always here. You must always remember that, no matter what you want to talk about, we're here! I lost my Snowbell when she was 5. It was too early for me, I was heartbroken. She was my baby, the one that wiped my tears with her little tongue, gave me kisses, welcomed me when I bought her veggies by putting her paws on my shoulder in a bunny 'hug'. She was the one I went to when I was sad, or when I wanted alone time. She could put a smile on my face in two seconds flat. We moved out here to Australia and I was sad to leave the old house: she was buried in the yard, next to our guinea pig Rolo and dog Meg. I felt so bad, just leaving her there. Then we moved out here and I found a lady who breeds show rabbits. I felt even worse when she offered me one of her babies in return for helping her. I surely couldn't love another rabbit? That'd mean I was betraying Snowbell! I denied for a while, stating that I simply wasn't ready. Then I was talking to my mum, and she told me that I was just going to open my heart to another bunny.It doesn't mean I'm replacing her, I'm just getting another bunny in her honour. Now, here I am. In a months time, a little 10 weeks old bunny will be making his home in my home. I'm ready. I still cry and get upset about Snowy, and that was almost a year ago but I feel ready, I think young Apollo will heal me almost completely! Always here, message if needs be, LPT! x
Slave to minilop Apollo!

User is Offline Chesters Mommy
Sydney, Australia
93 posts Send Private Message
10/19/2012 3:00 AM

I'm so sorry LPT 


Sending hugs and lots of love from Australia <3

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User is Offline Kokaneeandkahlua
Edmonton, Alberta; Canada
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10/19/2012 4:22 PM
***HUGS***

I know how you feel about no one else understanding. I mean certainly they get it a bit but not really. I still have a jag once in an while about my bridge bunnies. I go through and read the posts in the bridge section and have a little remembrance. Still. It does get easier with time but you always miss them.

I think that's a beautiful urn you got, Stormy was such a stunning beautiful bunny he deserves a lovely urn like that. I really love it.

*hugs* to you Steph-We're here for you!
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BINKYBUNNY FORUMS > THE LOUNGE > It's been a month and it's not any easier

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