Everyday seems like a First Day

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

August 20th I suddenly lost my diva JJ Winks.

As with any typical Friday night, I came home and hung out on Facebook … in the office (aka JJ’s room).  She seemed to be sleeping, so I didn’t open up her condo to her playpen.  A couple of hours passed without me noticing; it was now midnight.  Hmm, that’s weird – JJ usually throws her food dish or toys around … to demand playtime in her playpen.  I turned around to see that she moved to the bottom level, and she was sleeping again.  I walked over to greet her & offered her a pat on the head … she refused (which isn’t a surprise).  But something didn’t feel right.  So I attached her playpen to let her out for playtime … nothing happened.  I layed down some fresh hay & fresh water.  She refused everything.  She turned her back to me & hid her face.  I hopped in the playpen to coax her out.  She came over, but looked really tired.  She layed down next to me and gazed at me, then turned to gaze at me from her other side.  I started crying because I was afraid to accept that something was really wrong.  So I petted her & she closed her eyes … she stretched out into a lazy bunny flop, but something still didn’t feel right.  It was now 2am.

I set my alarm for 4am, to check on JJ.  She was huddled by the water & there were no fresh poops in her litterbox.  She looked at me with a pained look in her eyes.  And I started to cry again.  As I called to her, she came over & began to cry and cough, fluids were coming out of her lil’ nose.  Immediately, I called PETs Hospital and they said to come in.  Off we went!  I could barely drive, my hands were shaking like crazy … I was telling her to hold on, while she whimpered and cried out in pain.

It was going on 5am.  The doctor said JJ was extremely bloated, and they decompressed her tummy.  They said her color was brighter, and she was more active, and seemed to be responding well to the antibiotics/treatments.  But they wanted to keep her for 24 hours.  I went in to visit her; and she looked like my usually JJ … perky with an attitude.  I asked her to behave while the doctors/nurses took good care of her, and I said I’d be back soon to take her home.

The doctor called me before 7am with an update.  JJ’s tummy got bloated again, and they had to decompress it again.  They spoke with the Radiologist, and found a slight case of pneumonia.  They assured me that they were doing everything possible to help JJ.  How did this all happen?  I kept questioning myself over and over again.

I managed to get a couple hours of sleep.  At 10:30am I called to check on her.  She was doing ok, but showed no interest in eating.  So I told myself, I would head over to see her before I went to my afternoon appointment.  From lack of sleep, I was exhausted … I headed over to my appointment.  I planned to be real quick, so I could visit JJ without rushing off.

At 11:48am, while stuck in Caldecott Tunnel traffic, I got a call from the Doctor.  They apologized, said they did everything, but that JJ passed away.  I was devastated.  It took me 2 hours to get thru all the traffic, to turn around.  I wasn’t there when she took her final breath … omg …
I made it back to PETs, to see her one last time – to hold her one last time.  And then I had to do one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do: I walked out of the hospital with JJ’s carrier … empty.

Everyday seems like a first day …  without my beloved JJ.  She just made 1 year with me (last month).  

Binky Free JJ Winks … Momma & Chessie Love You

[jerseygirl]

I’m so so sorry. She was a beautiful little bunny!
Bloat can take them very fast and it’s not always known why they get it.
*Binky Free JJ*

[Lopdad]

Very sad, I am so sorry for your loss.

[AnnaW]

I’m so sorry for your loss, i recently lost my beloved cat, its a terrible feeling
‘time heals all wounds’ xx

[melbunny]

I’m so very sorry for your loss. *hugs*

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I’m so sorry-that’s so sudden and tragic {{Binky Free JJ}} *Big Hugs* I know exactly what you mean when you say every day seems like the first day, Kokanee left me really suddenly, very young as well and it was so hard. It does get better, in time, like they always say…it doesn’t help now, but it will get better and you will be able to look back with fondness on the time you did have with JJ and you will cheerfully share JJ stories…in time. *HUGS*

[Zombie-Sue]

I am really sorry =( it gets easier I promise. -hugs-

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

Thank you all for the lovely thoughts, the compassion, & the support.
It’s going on a week, since JJ passed … I feel like I haven’t slept in years: no dreams, no rest
I’m so used to seeing her condo in her room as being her home … I just have to adjust to her home being in my heart from here on forward … *sigh*

[Ali925]

I’m so sorry for your loss.. hugs to you and Chessie.

[Kokaneeandkahlua]

I just found this poem and thought you might like it, though I’m all choked up I wanted to share it.

YOU WERE HERE

As I sit in those moments of quiet,
When sadness invades me,
I know that yesterday,
You were here.

Now you are away from us,
Not knowing your future,
Or when you’ll come home, but yesterday,
You were here.

It has now been a week,
A week since you last were in the house,
An entire week since we carried you away,
To the place where we did not know your future,
But just last week,
You were here.

Another day passes;
a week ago, you were still with us,
In daily reports from the clinic,
They did not know your future,
But we could still hope, and,
You were here.

More days pass,;
A week ago you left us,
Your head cradled in our hands,
Your spirit gracefully moving upward,
But for a few hours of that day,
You were here.

Sadness invades again,
As I know that once those hours pass,
I can no longer look back,
Over the span of a familiar week’s time,
To find that comforting point when,
You were here.

More time will pass;
Sadness will not so much invade as menace,
And I will mark the days,
Saying things like,
“last month, last summer, last Halloween, last year,”
You were here.

I dread that day,
One year from now,
That first marking of the time,
That your body was no longer with us;
Though we will never forget you,
Your tangible memory fades,
The feel of your fur, your head, your back, your weight against us,
The smell and sounds of you when,
You were here.

The emptiness is beginning to fade,
To change into another reality,
One with you still playing a part,
But a role of ethereal presence rather than physical comfort we crave;
Your memory, your spirit, your essence and counsel,
Dwell with us, but this feeling is not the same as when,
You were here.

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

*sobs*

Thank you for the very, very touching poem!

I’ve been lighting a candle (wax but LED w/timer) every night she’s been away … It comes on at 7pm and turns off at 11pm.

I just read the poem to her. Although she’s not here to listen; I know JJ can hear it.

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

A video (&/or link) dedicated to my beloved bunny …
JJ Winks *muah*

http://youtu.be/yOiui9xAD8A

 

[melbunny]

The video was beautiful ^^

[luvmyhunybuny]

So sorry for your loss. I know the pain all to well. Binky Free JJ!

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

Again … thank you all for the support …

JJ’s Vet & ER Hospital sent cards this past week 

[lashkay]

Hugs of support – it will get easier as time passes…Healing vibes to you, very sorry for your loss of JJ.

[TriBun]

I just watched your video tribute. What a beautiful little bunny, I’m sure she touched many hearts. Hugs to you.

[RabbitPam]

I’m so sorry to have missed your post until today. JJ Winks was very beautiful – I enjoyed the video.

My condolences, and {{{{{{{{{{{{Hugs}}}}}}}}}}}

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

Thanks again Everyone!

For such a little wabbit, JJ had a HUGE impact on my life … despite the short time she spent with me.
My bunny Girls are my world. So every time I’ll buy a toy – I’ll still buy an extra for JJ … Chessie will just “bunny-sit” it for her

[jerseygirl]

Wow she was just adorable! Thank goodness for photos and videos to keep those happy memories alive.

[Poppyann]

I am very sorry for your loss! Your story in your first post bought tears to my eyes. All the tributes you’ve done are truly heart warming.

RIP JJ ♥

[Chessie & JJ's Mom]

(again) Thanks a million to you all …

I am getting used to the “quietness” in JJ’s room – I just like to imagine that she follows me around everywhere & has “super powers” so that I can’t hear/see her …. but I feel her presence all the time

I’ve picked up a few books & am currently working on a Bunny Emergency Kit – so that I’ll be prepared, if ever there is a next time.
I want to be the best bunny-momma possible – in memory of my sweetheart JJ.

[Author]

Messages